H has always been horrible with money. He has no savings and lives check to check (when he goes to work). Two years ago he had no credit cards. Last year he got one for "emergencies". It had a $700 limit. Then on Amazon he got one because you get $50 off your purchase. He had about $300 on that and said he was going to pay that off immediately and get rid of it. Well I just checked his credit history on a website and his $700 card has now been bumped up to a $1750 limit and his other one he was going to pay off is a $2000 limit. His one is OVER the credit limit of $1750 by about $25 and his other one has $1200 on it! He is nearly $3000 in debt with $20 in the bank! All of this because he hasn't been working and hasn't been telling me he has no money, but instead racking up his credit cards that he can't pay off!
I am SO AAAAAAANGRY! He will never be able to pay these off. I know his thinking is he's going to pay off his work loans (which is another $4000) and then take out ANOTHER loan to pay off his credit cards! I am so tempted to just say "Here's $3000 and just pay the whole damn thing off!". I hate debt. I've never been in it and have paid every single bill on time. It wouldn't surprise me if he used his credit card to take out money to pay his share of a bill just so he doens't have to tell me he has no money.
I hope that you think good and hard
Submitted by Standing on
before you pay it off for him.
Been there, done that. He just got more cards and did it all over again.
If you take care of this for him, he will have no reason to learn how to take the consequences of his own choices.
May seem to you like covering his debt makes you good and loving, but that is a lie. It makes you a co-conspirator in his irresponsibility and does neither one of you any favors.
I realize that, but the idea
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
I realize that, but the idea of him being in that much debt and never really being able to get out of it upsets me because it will reflect on me too. When he finally can give me money towards whatever bills I'll just be thinking "I wish you'd put this towards your credit card instead." God knows in the 10 years I've known him I've paid so many of his bills and rent and everything you could possibly imagine because he had no money. 10 years later he still has no money.
I guess you will have to decide
Submitted by Standing on
Which upsets you more?
Paying his debts and preventing him from learning how to take responsibility? or Not paying his debts and admitting that you cannot fix him?
It is possible that - if your name is not on his credit card account in any way, and if you are not an authorized user of the credit card, you may not be liable in any way. That is definitely something you'd have to ask a professional financial advisor, to be sure, but - if you discovered that you are really not liable for the debt, then maybe this would be a good first step in separating your identity from his? You don't really want to be merged with him, do you? You are Mapper, not him.
Maybe think of it this way: IF you pay his debts, then you have given up your right to gripe about his irresponsible spending. By paying it off, you have agreed that what he does is okay with you.