Submitted by Light on 03/05/2014.
The subject line pretty much says it all. I am wondering if treatment, particularly medication, can help cure a video game addiction in someone with ADD. I feel like the only cure for anything like this is hitting rock bottom, so I am not optimistic, but I am wondering if anyone has noticed any changes one way or another regarding video game addiction after starting medication.
A personal choice
Submitted by RoadtoRecovery on
I don't necessarily think the medication helped me quit playing video games. It was a personal choice. I recognized that I was using it as an unhealthy hobby that was affecting my relationship with my wife and I could be using the time for more positive outlets. I decided to quite playing all together on night after my wife, for the 10000000x time, expressed her frustration with my chosen hobby. The worst part is, after so long, she didn't believe that I could quit and continued to suspect that I played when she wasn't around.
There are pretty much three choices I would say may help you:
1. Find a way to compromise - either agree to a set schedule to allow your spouse to play (uninterrupted) and stick to it, you'll want to agree to some type of "punishment" system if he does not stick to the schedule. I will warn you that if your spouse has a tendency to "go back to his old ways" after some time. This most likely is not a good option.
2. Find another way to compromise - I would have loved to have been able to share this hobby in a productive way with my spouse. Have you considered joining him? Has he ever asked you to play with him? Maybe try an active gaming platform like Wii or Xbox w/ Connect so you are doing active things that you can both enjoy while getting some exercise. This option is also a great way to get your spouse to start to exercise if he/she doesn't already. Additionally, just by having some fun and letting loose
3. This is the hard one. Let your loved one know, it's either you or the game. You want to feel like you are the priority and do not want to compete for his time over his hobby which you do not share. You truly must be ready to face whatever comes of this as, unfortunately, it may have an adverse affect. However, you do deserve to have someone that puts you as a priority over everything else but God.
I hope in some way this helps. God bless.
PS: Read Ephesians 5: 21-33
Some clarification
Submitted by Light on
Hi, thanks for your reply. For some context, I am not a woman who hates video games on principle. In fact video gaming is one of the common hobbies that brought us together in the first place. My family might've even used to think I was overly fanatic, but hubby's gaming habits blow mine away. There are a few games we do play together on the consoles, but the problem comes in the form of him participating in online social games that can serve as a substitute for his real life. Those are the ones he obsesses over, as they create time-sensitive obligations that he feels more obligated to than his real life responsibilities (the whole "the team/guild is counting on me" mentality). Never mind the issues of instant gratification, relative ease of success, and illusions of empowerment, competency, and progress. Furthermore, most of these kinds of games are designed so you HAVE to play in large hour chunks to get anything done, and there is often no clear endpoint.
No plans can ever be made with him, because he already has "plans" in the form of playing the game non-stop, and he gets irritable if you suggest another activity - one time he even got mad when I suggested we go out for ice cream! He blows off family events because a new expansion is coming out that day (or for no novel reason at all), and even when he attends he generally cloisters himself in the emptiest room with his cell phone.
We have tried a video gaming "contract" in the past, but this has only resulted in him referencing the parts of the contract that favor him, while ignoring all other provisions entirely. I point this out, and he makes empty promises that are probably sincere to him at the time but never come to be.
He does not believe he has a problem, and defensively tells me gaming is just his "hobby," but I disagree. Like I said, I do recognize gaming as a valid hobby since it was my number one activity for a long time. But I still get the idea of having a balanced life and attending to my responsibilities, which he does not. I feel like he is using video games like a drug, and I am hoping with stimulant medication it might be easier for him to not need it so badly.
Share this
Submitted by RoadtoRecovery on
My situation was almost the same, except that my wife didn't much like gaming in general though she tried a few with me. My wife sent this to me shortly before I quit. Share this with him as it made me open my eyes to what my wife was saying and I felt horrible for the time I had given up with loved ones in my real life for superficial ones in my virtual life.
The gamers in the study showed addiction-like symptoms ranging from lying to family and friends about how much they play games and using the games to escape their problems to becoming restless or irritable when they stop playing. For some, video game play affected their academic performance and commitment to spending time with family and friends.
Similar to other addictions, individuals suffering from video game addiction use the virtual fantasy world to connect with real people through the Internet, as a substitution for real-life human connection. Some suffering from video game addiction may develop an emotional attachment to on-line friends and activities they create on their computer screens. Those suffering from video game addiction may enjoy aspects of the on-line games that allow them to meet, socialize, and exchange ideas through games. Because some games requires a large number of players to log on simultaneously, for long durations of time, to accomplish a game’s task, players may feel an obligation and loyalty to other players. This may further the individual’s justification of his/her use and sense of relationship with other players, that are otherwise strangers.
What are the warning signs of video game addiction?
• Preoccupation with the Game. (Thoughts about previous on-line activity or anticipation of the next on-line session.)
• Use of the Game in increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction.
• Repeated, unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back or stop Game use.
• Feelings of restlessness, moodiness, depression, or irritability when attempting to cut down use of the Game.
• Gaming longer than originally intended.
• Jeopardized or risked loss of significant relationships, job, educational or career opportunities because of Game use.
• Lies to family members, friends, therapists, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Game.
• Use of the Game is a way to escape from problems or to relieve a dysphoric mood. (e.g. feelings of hopelessness, guilt, anxiety, depression.)
Dr. Brent Conrad made a couple of books about video game addiction. There are tons of pages on google about this. You may not see its effects because you are the side of having fun, and enjoying this other world. What do you see in yourself with these video game questions above? Maybe I can tell you what I see and you tell me what you see, so we can see each others point of view.
You are also welcome to send him my way to talk to someone that understands what he is feeling. Good luck.
There is Hope
Submitted by wbwhiteii on
I have been married to my wife it will be 5 years in June and I suffer from ADHD. The wife is a non-ADHD spouse and is a non gamer, as a matter of fact, she despises games in which I play whether its on a computer, my phone or Xbox unless it is a kinect game we can play as a family.
I was a hardcore gamer prior to me meeting my wife, and I expressed my passion for games long before we even got serious, she thought it was something that was cute, but felt as though, as we got more serious, the games would stop. I was involved with a MMORPG (World of Warcraft) and I would play almost daily. It got to the point to where I would even play at work if I had the opportunity.
I am currently on Vyvanse and the wife calls it the "Miracle Drug." and I explained the addictive personality in which I had and basically told me that i had to set limits or my marriage would end. I did not agree with the doctor, I figured I could handle this myself.
We had laid out some ground rules, I would not be able to play my games, until our daughter was in bed, things were done around the house and the wife and "her" time with me. I told her sure, I could do this, but in the back of my mind I was like "Yeah Right"
I told the guild in which I led for 2+ years I would be taking a break, I would only be playing three times a week, but I would still remain as active as I could during that time.
It has been more than a year since I have played Wow, and I never thought that I would be able to admit this, but I am an addict, but with the proper process put into place, he can fix his gaming addiction. As far as gaming in general, I will play a random game on my phone, but if I feel it is consuming time away from my wife, my daughter, or anything else, I will quickly delete that game, because there is nothing more important in this world than my wife and daughter.
I Hope this helps and there is hope!,
-Bill