Submitted by Zapp10 on 09/13/2016.
My H is on wellbutrin. I am curious if it is possible that the med lessens his anxiety with the adhd.......and therefore causes him to think he is improving in adhd issues? He is noticeably less anxious and irritable BUT I believe he needs to take advantage of this "help" and address "effects" of the adhd on himself and others. I say NOTHING about what he needs to do as he has NOT fully accepted that (adhd) is a big deal in our marriage (this messenger has been shot once and for all). The fact that he "feels" better is great......but my experience is...he feels better in the midst of adhd so everything is fine.......am I making any sense?
I have a few thoughts about
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
rosered,
Submitted by Zapp10 on
Thank you for your dual view. It made me think.....my H was not what I would consider an anxious person at all(except for rare times) however, about 7 years ago when he quit gallons of coffee(caffineated) a day(only a slight exaggeration) .....this is when the ADD began to appear. While I can look back and see many many times that can NOW be linked to ADD he was not as unapproachable as he became without caffeine. My H disappeared and some other "jerk" showed up that I didn't like. So I think I am on the right track.....great he is on meds....but he needs to LEARN about ADD. How fortunate for him that the caffeine "medicated" him and he consumed such a high amount......had he treated me like this in the first few years....WE would not be here as I would have been gone.
Thanks again...I value your input!
Apples and Oranges Again?
Submitted by kellyj on
Let me try and say this simply. The meds....do make you "feel better and helps with the anxiety? Yes it does? But why? It reduces..the need...to find "those shiny things" that stimulate you or get you "amped" up...which makes you feel better and help your anxiety go away?
What is OCD and why do people who have it do repepetative and sometimes behaviors to an extreme or obsesses about them? Because...they temporarily releif that person from the anxiety that drives them to it...but only for a little while. Before long...the anxiety creeps back..and then they need to do it again....and again.....and again.....repeatedly? The OCD...doesn't cause the ADHD and neither does the anxiety. The axiety or "ansey" feeling ...."anxious"....."nervous"....or "twitchy"...is casuse by the ADHD itself and needing a "boost" to the front of your brain from being under "powered" because of the "strain" or "stress" it takes just to do everyday things sometimes?
The meds "boost" that part of your brain...so things feel better since the anxiety deminishes because 1) you don't need those "activties" or 'shiny things" anymore to do this for you. No shiny things means....not anxiety and the stress of always being distracted by "feeling that need" anymore? This is exactly what if felt like for me. I no longer needed to find something to "scratch that itch"...because the "itch" was no longer there? And when the "itch" is no longer there....you are less distracted by the need that is not there either? And when you aren't being pulled or distracted by the need to seek or find those things anymore....you are not as stress....more relaxed..and don't feel as anxious?
Well.....that's all good and fine right? For me...this was a real blessing not having that cursed "itch" that you can't find or really scratch to make go away. It's really uncomfortable sometimes to alwats be "itchy" and alway (even subconsiously) looking for things that will satify that "itch" in the first place?
So there you go. That what the meds do for you right there and why? They do make you feel better and they do help with the stress and anxiety...and they do help make you a feel better which also makes you less irritable and happier in an over all sense. Especially when....you've never expereinced that before exactly which is like a Gigantic.....whew!!! Off you mind. Out of sight...out of mind right?
Now what? That's all the meds do?
OH! You're talling about all the ADHD symptoms that are still there and always will be? You know...the delays in processing, the emotional aspects and all the behavioral once that are most important to YOU?
Meds don't do anything for that. They just help make you feel better....less anxious ...and less in need for stimulation otherwise which does help make you less stressed out since you can focus on things longer without getting distracted.
Now what?? That's all the meds do?
OH!! YOU MEAN.....you actually have to do something about ALL those ADHD symptoms and they just don't go away?? You MEAN...you now have to "MAKE USE"...of feeling better and not being so distracted and not having that "itch" anymore? YOU MEAN....you have to DO SOMETHING ELSE.......since there is not cure for ADHD...the hard wiring issues....;and all the executive function challenges which are still there??
What a rip off!! I thought....you could just take a pill and it would all go away by itself and you wouldn't have to DO ANYTHING??? Damn!!! LOL
Of course I'm being factisious.....but not that it isn't making a valid point? It's not only a valid point....it's an accurate one because this is exactly what the meds do...and what they don't do. They're only a "crutch"....they won't grow you a new leg?
J
Ha Ha J....
Submitted by Zapp10 on
You say it well, J.
My H wants me to be very pleased he has started taking med.......I am.....NOW do the rest!!! WHAT!? THERE IS MORE!? OMG! YOU WANT ME TO DO MORE!? ISN'T IT ENOUGH I AM TAKING THE MEDS YOU SO HOPED I WOULD AND YOUR"E STILL NOT HAPPY!? ......sigh....fade to right....as I reluctantly/sadly.....pick up a cast iron fry pan......(wink, wink)
Words Again...."Talk is Cheap"
Submitted by kellyj on
"sigh....fade to right....as I reluctantly/sadly.....pick up a cast iron fry pan......(wink, wink)...."
What ADHDeed...said in another thread was profound. I've just read through all her posts for the first time and I'm getting ready to respond to her about what she said because she took the words...right out of my mouth. In this case....my own words exactly...as If...I had said them. She has ADHD and so do I? How can this be? A woman with ADHD....and a man with ADHD....both saying and expressing the same things? Unheard of!! LOL
How can this be? What she said was profound..."Know...that they don't know what Love is."
You know Zapp.....you know...that I know....that I know...what you are talking about right? You wouldn't have said what you said...if you didn't know that or think it's true?
Which is why I laughed when you said...."as I reluctantly/sadly...pick up a cast iron fry pan....(wink wink)" LOL
"Wise guy eh? Why you.....I'll show ya.....(fry pan on head sound...."Conk!").......(eye gouge in retaliation...."Boink" ).......(hand on bridge of nose to block any attempt at retaliatory eye gouge back )..........."woop,.woop. woop, woop, wooop....errr....eiy yei yei ....woo hoo!!!"
And what does this prove? Don't be a "Stooge!!" LOL
Doing something to "placate you" and "appease you"...in doing what they think you want from them just to shut you up and make it all go away....
That's a TAD different .......than doing something for yourself...so you can help yourself.....so you can give to the other person what that person really wants and needs?
"I've done everything you want from me....NOW what? (eye roll in contempt) What? You want MORE??? Sheeese!! Whadda ya want for noth'in?? RRRUBBER BISCUIT??? You're so BORING!!! "
(wink wink ) lol
J
" Stooge "
Submitted by kellyj on
"STOOGE"
sto͞oj/
noun
noun: stooge;
plural noun: stooges
1.derogatory: a person who serves merely to support or assist others, particularly in doing unpleasant work.
"you fell for that helpless-female act and let her make you a stooge" (insert: "helpless - ADHD" instead of "helpless-female" here )
synonyms: underling, minion, lackey, subordinate;
More....
henchman;
puppet,
pawn,
cat's paw;
informal: sidekick
"a government stooge"
2. a performer whose act involves being the butt of a comedian's jokes.
synonyms: butt,
foil,
straight man
"a comedian's stooge"
verb
verb: stooge;
3rd person present: stooges;
past tense: stooged
past participle: stooged;
gerund or present participle: stooging
1. move around aimlessly; drift or cruise.
"she stooged around in the bathroom for a while"
2.perform a role that involves being the butt of a comedian's jokes.
taking meds at age 65
Submitted by inthedark on