Forum topic: Exhausted & Resentful of ADHD Husband!!!

Thu Sep 5th, 2024 - 1:22am by Burnt-out and Exhausted

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

I'm 57 and my husband is 63...He is hyper, busy, moving all the time, needs very little sleep AND cannot stop talking!!! He has literally no verbal impulse control and over-reacts to everything. I don't know what to do. I want to divorce him, but am leery of starting over---especially financially and as I approach 60. I could care less about finding another partner....I just want peace and rest. I just read Melissa's email message (9/4/24) on resentment and I really do resent the fact that I give more than I get...my pre-frontal cortex is so beat down from having to share it....I so wish my younger self knew what she was getting herself into...I would have run for the hills! We've been married 29 years, and  I feel like a fool. We have a 22 year old daughter and 16 year old son..they are my only treasures/outcomes from this relationship. If I move on, I'd time it to be 2 years (2026) when my son finishes high school and will no longer be a minor. I welcome any advice. I wish there were a divorce checklist with pros and cons already listed for me to use. Thank you.

Comments

Submitted by Off the roller ... on Thu Sep 5th, 2024 - 6:24am

Would you believe here's the start of a checklist - I find it as a 'gut check' big time for me and while you feel like you want to run like crazy right now, this is the chance to take a breath and assess and see where you want to go. I've been there, I am there and you aren't alone in it. 

*link removed*

Submitted by J on Thu Sep 5th, 2024 - 6:50am

and it has some really good information in it. Currently reflecting on myself and my own behaviors that contribute to any part ( good or bad )  in our relationship,  has been a productive path for me. Regardless of whether I'm considering staying or leaving....it's only improved things, which is a good thing.

Submitted by Burnt-out and E... on Thu Sep 5th, 2024 - 3:54pm

Hi Off-the-Roller, Thanks soooo much for this article link and your comments...WOW! I'm reading and thinking through each question. This is VERY helpful!!!

Thank you,

Burnt-out & Exhausted

Submitted by Catisamom on Tue Sep 10th, 2024 - 12:41pm

Is there a reason why the link was removed? I'd really like to read this article if I could find it.

Thanks.

DeAnna Puls

Submitted by HelpatADHDmarriage on Tue Sep 10th, 2024 - 2:43pm

Hi Catisamom. One of the guidelines of the forum is to not have links. Article names are allowed, so the article can be found that way!

Submitted by slowjammerukdog on Fri Sep 13th, 2024 - 6:52pm

So could one of you tell us what the article is called, please? Sorry if I missed it -- I just arrived here. And I have ADHD. Thanks!

Submitted by Sugarlumps83 on Sat Sep 21st, 2024 - 4:00pm

I know the feeling. My husband is due to get a diagnosis soon and hopefully medication. We've been together for twenty years, have two kids but I'm exhausted. 

We've moved country twice, it was fine when we were younger, but now he's looking at houses in another country, and I really don't want to move again. Every time I mentioned it, he would loose it because he hates where we live, and makes me feel bad. He keeps threatening out marriage because I won't just sell the house and move. That he would just pick up and leave. Is it bad that I actually want him to leave? That I feel my life would be so much better without him? 

I'm really hoping that with the medication it would make feel content with what she's got, cause I don't know if I can cope much longer.