So here is the jist of my story I had been dating the girl i meet in colorado for 9 months we decided to move out east to pa so she could take over her family's business and i could continue my firefighting career out east. So we packed up and drove out east. We get here and things got hard. new place,people,area,no family,no friends, for me anyways. So lets go back a few years i was diagnoised with adhd when i was 7 and put on ridlin for a few years. I was in an IEP class all through school. (individual education plan). Adhd was a big part of my life when i turned 18 i told myself i had grown out of it well when we made it out east my adhd hit hard more so then it has sience i can remember. Well her parents specialize in none medicated forms of treatment for adhd. there professional psychologists. They use Nuerofeed back, well i sat down with them and told them my adhd problem which they had suspected. So i had to fill out and intake sheet for the sessions and evaluations to begin. the intake sheet showed pretty much everything bad thing about my younger life adhd, parents divorces, hard times in school, abuse. which she already knew about. well one saturday i had to work it was the morning i filled out my intake sheet. she sat down and read it while i was gone. and just so you know we were so happy and so in love or so i thought. things were great. we moved here together were living with her parents good times ahead.i came home from work and she was distent i asked to talk to her. so we went down stairs she brought the intake sheet. she said that she doesent think that i can give her the life she wants. and my adhd and my past life is to much for her to deal with. so she left me. totally a shock didnt see it comein. we were so happy. now im in a wierd situation living at her parents and she has turned cold and emotionless to me. so im trying to move out get two jobs go to the fire academy and volunteer at a fire station. life just got 1000 times harder which is ok . before we moved out here i asked her many many times if this gets hard we have to stay together and be there for each other she said we were stronger then ever and will will be there for each other no matter how hard it gets so i trusted her.it seems like i go through relasonships there great for so long then they just fall apart all at ounce???????im still going to get nuerofeedback from her parents which is great. i want to try everything to get her back and i have been but nothing is working she says she still loves and cares about me but i dont know. i want her back but is it worth it????????????????thanks for reading. i appreciate every response.
corey
Extreme Frustration
Submitted by Gar (not verified) on
To Frustrated Corey
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
I'm sorry I didn't see this when you posted it, Corey!
I really like the perspective offered by Gar on your dilemna, but I also offer you another one...the best spouse for a person with ADHD is one who is flexible, empathetic and strong. My initial response to your story is that perhaps you were headed for a problem relationship...once the infatuation wore off it might have been that you would have found your girlfriend to be very "black and white" (intolerant), which could have been very hurtful over the years, essentially extending the pain you now feel.
Also, it may not be a coincidence that things fell apart after you got to her parent's home. Don't know that for sure, but I'm not a big believer in coincidences...they may have played a role (how likely is it that she formed an opinion about ADHD without asking her folks, who are professionals in the area???)
As an aside, firefighting is a great career for folks with ADHD so you've found a great field. Your ability to take in lots of information at once and focus under fire (pun intended) should hold you in good stead.
Good luck!
Gar, Answer me this... How is
Submitted by Heather (not verified) on