Forum topic: Free Doughnuts with your ADHD

Thu Mar 10th, 2016 - 9:35pm by Dale Tartan

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

So my wife and I are constantly fighting for numerous reasons. But we called a truce and started over last week. I've been taking meds again too  

Today she says "when you win a free doughnut you can't get a coffee. " (local coffee shop contest you can win a free doughnut)

I never go to this coffee shop so my question was: "that doesn't make sense, I don't get it. Are you saying you can't buy a coffee in conjunction with winning a doughnut? Or what? Explain. 

 

She responds "ya you can't get a coffee"

Me: "that makes no sense" you can't even buy a coffee?"

 

her: "don't be a fucking asshole, you didn't take your pill did you!!?"  You can't take a free coffee in lieu of the free doughnut!!

 

now granted I may have been having a blonde moment about the coffee  but I think the response was uncalled for. In frustration I walked away  

Thoughts anyone how I should have handled this??

 

Comments

Submitted by c ur self on Thu Mar 10th, 2016 - 10:40pm

You did the right thing for sure, never engage that kind of disrespectful crap....It sounds like your wife needs a little soap for that mouth:) I don't think they make a pill that can help that???....I was lost also until I heard the words, in lieu of....

Hang in there!

C

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Thu Mar 10th, 2016 - 11:22pm

I put up with situations like this all the time.  H will say something that isnt clear or doesn't make sense, and then he gets angry.  Once I finally am told MORE, then it makes sense....but he's too angry at that point, claiming that wasn't listening.

 

 

NOW, I know why H didn't like one of his bosses who would say that he didn't understand what H was saying sometimes.

I'm So Exhausted's picture

Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on Fri Mar 11th, 2016 - 9:59am

Hi Dale,

Welcome to the forum.

In the very basic view, this was a communication issue.  She said something.  You didn't understand her meaning.  

Are you 100% sure this is actually what she said:  

"don't be a f...ing asshole, you didn't take your pill did you!!?"  You can't take a free coffee in lieu of the free doughnut!!

Verbatim?  Exactly repeating her words?

I am the non-ADHD spouse.  I have experienced saying something, and when my spouse repeats it back - it is not at all what I said.  A.T.  A.L.L. Sometimes I believe that who I am gets channeled through negative things he previously heard.  I get very frustrated when that happens.  

Sincerely,

Liz

*******I have recently seen a lady looking back at me from the mirror - and I said, "Hello friend. Long time no see!""*******