I’m in a long distance relationship with my gf (who was dx with ADHD years ago) for the past 2 years (friends for over 10) and for the last 2 months it seems she hardly answers my texts like she used to. It can sometimes go on for days with me texting her before she replies (and when she replies, it’s not for long periods of time like we used it). Even if she did, she wouldn’t reply to previous questions I texted her. I know she is busy with finals for her university lately, but I’d think she’d at least acknowledge me. I feel like she’s gotten bored with me and ignores me. The thing is, she said she loved me last week. Though sometimes I feel like I’m being a pest, I worry since she lives alone in a not so great apartment building. And I miss when we chatted all the time, including flirting and such. The thing is when we do text finally, she never asks why or isn't mad that I've texted her so often. I plan on finally visiting her in the coming months, after telling her I couldn’t see her when she asked me to see her at the spur of the moment in September. This is when I feel when this all began. Has anyone been through this before with these texting problems? I feel hurt, lost, confused and questioning things. Should I question her on this and my speculation why? It’s causing me stress and anxiety (and I’m trying to do self-care and hope to see a therapist). Its an emotional rollercoaster since this has occurred. When I posted about our 2nd anniversary on Facebook the other day congratulating us and telling her I love her, she used the love option to acknowledge my post. So all this baffles me.
Forum:
Comments
Out of sight
This is all typical ADHD behavior that happens once the hyperfocus stage is over. You are seeing the real person now. You must decide if this is enough.
You should stop overthinking it.....
Even if the reality on her end isn't what you would desire, or what it use to be...There is zero you can do about it...If she is add as my wife, nothing you've stated here is uncommon....My wife can't text, and focus on work or shool work...Distractions are killers for her mind....It may take her days to recover from the least bit of negative emotional communication...Don't think for your friend....You can't, and it will just overwhelm you...Like it's doing....Live your life, be at peace, and if and when you go see her, do not take your emotional garbage, and expectations born in your mind with you....
c
Thank you, C.
Thank you for that and I'm sure that I'm overthinking this. I recall that this had happened last year when I thought she was ghosting me when it turned out she was doing her studies. One thing I came across the day after I posted this, she posted on her Facebook page of a quote by Maya Angelou. It said "Never make someone a priority when all they are is an option". And she put:Omg! I need to heed these words. I keep thinking it's about me. I have made her my priority since I know she has ADD and often needs help. She posted that the day after the last time we chatted on Thursday night. Seeing that has made me numb and stirring up my anxiety. Like you said, I'm sure I'm just overthinking.