Submitted by dedelight4 on 10/15/2015.
I'm just wondering why SO many folks with ADHD, go to bed at 3 in the morning. Does anyone know why they do this? It seems like a very common trait among ADHD'ers.
I'm just wondering why SO many folks with ADHD, go to bed at 3 in the morning. Does anyone know why they do this? It seems like a very common trait among ADHD'ers.
Hi Dede
Submitted by c ur self on
Side effects of a fast mind and adderall (which works similar to speed) makes it worse...My wife came to bed after 4 am this morning...She just can't wind down, and struggles to get up. I wish I could help her, but, I've learned to ignore it...Its who she is....:)
C
My husband and his family have been doing this LONG before meds.
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
I think one reason why ADHD people love to stay up VERY late and then sleep in is to minimize the time that they're around others who might ask them or expect them to do things.
In H's family, the few with ADHD would stay up, watching TV in their rooms, no one would bother them, they could snack all they wanted, and then sleep in late. It was freedom to do what they wanted, and it was freedom to avoid the time when the rest of the family was doing chores, etc.
I agree OWW
Submitted by c ur self on
I think avoidance is the most common way for people who know their going to freeload to avoid the conviction of watching others be responsible. Ha Ha...Sadly its been pretty clear here....
That is true...
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
When my H went to live with his brother when we were separated, his brother got a real eye-full. During the week, H's brother would ask H to help him on Saturday morning with some project. H would agree, but then not get up.
H's brother would get up, knock on H's door, then give up and do the project without him. H would finally get up between noon and 3 pm, the work would all be done, and then H would either watch sports on TV the rest of the day or evening. H's brother soon became furious at H for this. H didn't understand why it was a big deal, but obviously since H was sleeping thru the work, H wasn't seeing how much work his brother really had to do. So, H could stay in denial about all of it.
Maybe more linked to depression ?
Submitted by Wifelife88 on
For my H this has been a more recent thing - in the past 5 or so years. So it's possibly linked with depression and anxiety. When my H is anxious his ADD is more troublesome. He will either come to bed at 2am or read his tablet or PC until 2am. I am thinking of designing an ipillow so that the light doesn't disturb me :)
He says that the can't sleep and has has sleep studies that confirm this. It could be a number of things - preoccupation with something they are doing (often fixing a PC), ruminating on something that happened that day or even enjoying the peace and quiet.
i'm not sure that the getting up is linked with the going to bed though. If he has to my H will get up at a reasonable hour. He will avoid getting up if the kids and I are getting ready as he thinks he is getting up to chaos. This is a memory of rushing when the kids were little. Not was happens now. No matter what we say he still thinks it's chaos in the morning.
So does it matter? Not really as we all still get on with our day. It's his choice when he goes to bed and gets up. Would I prefer he is on the same schedule as me - yes! But from a marriage perspective it does as it's tricky to be emotionally connected when there are limited times you see each other. My H is often in bed when I get home from work. He may not be sleeping but his mind needs a rest at that time. He gets quite anxious around 5pm. What I do is sometimes work from home in the morning so we can have a quiet coffee together. And a night I'll see if he can come to bed with me for 15mins just for a cuddle then he goes back downstairs. But these times need to be peaceful and not confrontational- otherwise why would he bother?
3 o'clock in the morning
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
dedelight4,
As for my spouse who is ADHD, once he starts a project, he cannot seem to stop. He sets up huge lights in our yard and has been known to work clear through till 5 or 6 am. In the long run, it surely appears to have a negative affect on him. But, during the project, it seems to make him content. And that there is one of the reasons being self-employed works for him. He only has to answer to himself. No time clock to punch. No boss to keep happy.
I am a night owl. I do not get fully in gear for the day until after lunch. For me, I need 8 hours of sleep. Now, I set my alarm accordingly. If I go to bed at 11, I set the alarm for 7 am. If I go to bed at 3 am, I set the alarm for 11 am. This is good for me, the non-ADHD spouse. Being self employed, and having on-line college classes this semester, it is working well.
I started staying up till 3 am when our children were small. It was more or less impossible to focus on the business administrative work while being a stay-at-home-Mom with 2 children. Then, as they got older, we had open enrollment at a neighboring school. I drove them to and from school.
During school time, this still worked well. . . . . .I got the children to school, and came home to get the rest of my sleep. I was content knowing I got my responsibilities finished, and still got my needed sleep. After the household was in bed, I had peace and quite to get paperwork done. It was not until my children were in their teens that I realized how my sleep was disrupted by the very loud snoring of my spouse. He also has un undiagnosed issue - he twitches and clenches his hands while he is sleeping. Not pleasant for me to sleep beside.
Liz