Submitted by GailT on 02/28/2015.
If you've noticed a difference with age, do you think this is a truly age only related change, period. Or a change brought about by increased life stress for example or some other change that just happens to have started in later life?
My H has gotten worse...
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
My father in law had ADHD and a personality disorder. However, he wasn't an addict and he got better with age....mellowed out.
So, I was looking forward to H getting better with age. Not happening....because H is also an addict.
Since reading this forum, I've learned that exercise helps. H used to exercise an extreme amount...and he was better then. So, now I'm encouraging lots of exercise and it is helping..
Hi GailT
Submitted by c ur self on
I feel your comment about life stress or lack there of, is right on....My wife seems to be much more self-aware of how her actions effect others in low stress conditions...Also, if she has a positive role model to gage her actions by helps a lot...If there is no conviction (if your mind isn't processing your actions as being a problem) to do something different why do it, it already feels right to her...
The secret (hard part) for me is to be this role model, and be kind regardless of what she does...Because, if I start overloading her w/ expectations, based on what I think...Then the stress and feelings of inadequacy swells in her...Which only produces low self-esteem and feelings of why bother...She may not tell me that...but most mature adults know we all want to feel loved and appreciated...
The only thing I've noticed keeps progressing, regardless of stress levels...Is forgetfulness...And that may be just because she's hit her 50's to some degree....
This!!!
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
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Also, if she has a positive role model to gage her actions by helps a lot...I
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I have long felt that because H hasn't bothered to form friendships with positive role models it allows him to be in denial about his behavior.