My husband who is separated from me, if his demands aren't met he tends to very passively do something to try and trigger me. Although I have explained why I couldn't do what he asked me to in a calm way, he then took my 5year old daughter to a hairdressers and chopped half her long beautiful hair which I lovingly spend time keeping it nice and healthy. He knew it would devastate me, and after he got it cut he send me a rare email to tell me how she had enjoyed a 'salon experience' getting a haircut. That triggered warning bells that this was this was something he was doing to upset me and to my dismay for no good reason he cut her hair very short. I calmly said he should have discussed this with me me and he said i would disagree so he did it without telling me. I feel like he's got some opposition disorder as well, does anyone have an experience of their partners feeling the urge to do something just to be defiant. I wish i had never shown him my insecurities to him he goes to extremes to use it to hurt me.
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Extremes
You should be able to show your vulnerable side, without your spouse/partner using it against you. My Ex husband used my weaknesses/vulnerabilities against me for years. It was a toxic and abusive relationship.
Cutting your 5 year old daughter's hair is a red flag, especially if she did not want it cut, and he was just trying to get back at you.