Forum topic: i feel he has gone too far and im really hurt

Thu May 29th, 2014 - 6:49am by solost

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD
He is the love of my life. He once made me feel like I was the only girl alive. But a little after a year of us being together I found out he love's porn.and I was open to it and still am.but after a while he started talking about some of my girlfriends and ones my sister and even some others we know. After a few times he seen I got out of the mood as soon as he brought it up. I let him know it really hurt my feelings and didn't like talking about people we know and I was really nice about it. But its been almost 2years and he still does it. I am and have been open with new crazy things and love to make him happy ..but he just keeps pushing and has hurt me I'm easy going would never cheat on him ..but with him going on.knowing it hurts me isn't right and makes me wonder about him cheating if had the chance ...am I wrong for being upset and really hurt? Its pushing me away and all he can do is get mad when I try to talk to him calmly.

Comments

Submitted by copingSAH on Thu May 29th, 2014 - 2:39pm

Does he talk like this in private, or is it spilling into social gatherings? My dh has done it several times in the past. It doesn't bother me but it is a little odd they tell us this stuff and not some drinking buddies somewhere far away. I think there is a boundary issue, in that he is comfortable with you and thinks you'll be fine hearing anything he shares.

I can't remember but I must have embarrassed dh somehow in front of someone when he started up, or someone shut him up fast. Either way, I think it can only be done in a neutral environment with others to notice, like he'll either listen or be shamed by someone who hears him talking like that.

 

 

Submitted by solost on Fri May 30th, 2014 - 12:11am

He does it only talking to me most of the time.but there has been a few times he has said and done some things while some of my friends was there. And even though I told him to stop he didn't and even went as far as watching porn with them in the room trying to get them to watch as well. I just don't get it. He tells me he is sorry and he should treat me better but Trina right around the next day doing it all over again. He says its his adhd that makes him so crazy and said the only reason he watches porn is because it helps him calm down and is able to think. I really think its just a line of BS. The year before he came out with watching porn wasn't like this and I know he was never into it like he is now. So what has changed I don't know any more. I can't talk to him without him getting mad or trys to make me feel bad because I don't want to go along with wanting to hear him talk about having sex with my friends or sister or people we know. I have been so open minded and have tried all kinds of new things and I have had fun an even loved most of it..its just this that I can't take any more.I'm worried he may cheat and wonder if I should keep holding or or let go of the love of my life...