(Im non ADHD F28) My (ex) partner has non diagnosed ADD(F29), 2 months ago she came to me and said she believed she has adhd, I was in the middle of intense study, so we looked at getting tests done to find out it’s was $4.5k! We didn’t have that at the time and I also needed to apply for a new visa (too many big money bills) so we tried to get a DR appointment which was a bit of a wait and then I went back to focusing on my study. 
A month ago we had a big fight, over me not wanting her friend to stay for a week due to being on shift work and coming up to exams (my partner understood the day before and said no to her friend but somehow we argued over it the next day), she got her mum involved and things kicked off. Long story short it’s been stupidly messy and she ended it via text after spending 1 night with her mum (a week prior we were talking about buying a house together and future big life plans), she stated she didn't have space before to see - she had half of the last 5 months of me being away in a hotel for study/work.
I started doing research (because I was clueless) and found this book that literally sounded like someone wrote our relationship in a book, so I shared it with her. She hasn't read it yet. My (ex)partner being filled with lies about how I’m dangerous, a narcissist, gaslighting etc  etc, (never giving me any evidence or event that has happened to back these up) by her mum and friend who know nothing about our relationship and don’t like me all of a sudden. 
I tried to share all of the information I’ve found (because it’s fascinating but sounds terrifying for her and I want to show I care and want to understand)bought the book, offered to pay for specialised counselling, shared councillors etc. I found hope and then understood what was going on and why, I have soooo much love for this girl, we’ve been together for 3 years, but I think I’ve overloaded her with information which in turn has pushed her away to the point she is not declining any help I’ve offered. She wants the help and the diagnosis but she is also trying to process the lies from her family and friend. Her mum and friend are controlling her so much that she was not allowed to see me on her own since she left, we met to organise the house in a cafe and she was short and sharp and quite horrible when her friend was there. Her friend had to leave which left her with me and our mutual friend who is not taking any sides, and she completely changed, back to her normal self, laughing joking, talking and listening with me, etc etc. Now she has stopped responding to my messages even about the important stuff for the house before the lease ends next week. She has also stopped communicating without friends who are like a family to us, which makes me feel it's even bigger than just our relationship. 
I don’t know what to do because I think I’ve tried to share the adhd stuff so that she can understand but also hoping that she then realises that where she is right now is toxic but by sharing this I’ve pushed her away. Is all I have to do now is wait and be there for her when she realises or what can I do? I love her more than anything else!