Yes, it's true. You don't think it gets that hot in Oregon....think again!! LOL I use to lifeguard in college and I remember these days. Of course, I could just jump in the water to cool off and get back out again so it wasn't that big a deal with a pool at your disposal? LOL I remember a day just like this when it hit 106 degrees. I'm so glad I installed central air in this old house!! I'm perfectly fine ....I'll be working the late shift tonight when it cools off.
This whole "creative flow" thing...is really really coming to light. And this whole "Ground Hog Day" thing......planning everything down to the minute , over planning, plan plan plan......the life right out of existence. No flow.....no creativity......death and stagnation.....definitely, no flow.
Which brings me right to this place once again. It's fricking 108 degrees outside ( at my house )......who in their right mind, would be working outside...if they didn't have to? No one I know of......go with the flow. Instead of working harder, work smarter......go with the flow...and go with what you got at the time? So, if you plan everything to death...and it's 108 degrees outside.....now what? Turkeys butt? If you live in Ground Hog Day.....then ground Hog Day does not account for things outside of your control? Well, can't do it today....life is over. The machinary stops and everything shuts down since....can't go outside of the plan....can't work....at a different time? Have to swim upstream, gotta stay with the program....no outside the box thinking....no adapting and overcoming and changing. Semper Fi.....Hooah!!! Adapt...and overcome.....you don't stop advancing on the enemy if your a Marine right? There is no play book...to account for the weather....so if it rains.....then you just don't go through with your plans? OMG.....you might get wet? In Oregon....this is a complete joke. Ha!! I see this all the time and it still makes me laugh. I see people...dashing from there cars to get to the curb from the parking lot...to get back inside where it's safe. As if the Rain...is Sulfuric Acid...and if it touches you....as if you will dissolve or something? "Ahhhhh.....I'm melting, melting....oh, what a world what a world, who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness!! " LOL I mean really.....that is my take on it....like Rain....is something horrible and you can't get any on you? It is just water...after all?
This is that flow thing I was mentioning. To go..."with the flow"....you go down stream...not upstream...and go with the current? You can flip on your back and just float downstream...as long as you don't have to be in control and just allow the river to take you down stream with it? So much less energy...so much less work...and so much easier.....when you don't have a "set structure" written in stone. "
"So it shall be written....so it shall be done? " LOL "Well, where do you want this killing done?"
"Do it down on highway 61"
" Well, can it wait until after dinner or when it cools off? Why not? I mean really? I don't see a problem with that? And it doesn't say "when".....in the Bible? Ha!! I'm just kidding of course but there is a point in saying this. What I'm saying is....having a flexible schedule thqt allows for contingencies and variables....to make it "easier" on yourself....allows you to get more done....still on time....if you can adjust and adapt acordingly? I remembered this...from living at home? It was like the entire Universe revolved around the "school week system. It's a school day tomorrow....gotta stay on that institutionalized schedule....even when your not in school? Like ...where does it say this? In which "book" says that Mondays are Tuna Fish, and Sundays are Meat Loaf? LOL Talk about boring....and absolutely NO CREATIVE THOUGHT what so ever? No spontaneity and no creativity what so ever....everything is "planned and scripted" right down to how you wipe you butt. Not to be crude but you get my point.
I have to say, that I am very familiar with this. At work in the past...it was the worst enviroment possible for creativity and I had to be creative..since my job depended on it? They expectedc me to perform and be creative...but "they" or the powers that be...did everything in their power to make that as difficult as possible so I'm use to that...and found out how to do both at the same time and still perform...and sitll "appiece" the powers that be? But that was at work? Doing this...or living in that way at home...is beyond rediculous? I mean....whats the difference between Friday night/....and Monday night? Oh......Friday is when you get drunk...and Monday is when you watch Football? But of course....everyone knows that?
Being in that industry....I know a little bit of the History of "time keeping" devises...and they didn't even have such a things as an accurate "watch"...until two trains head on collided into one another...because the time keeping devises were that much off or out of synch with one another? The "Rail Road Chronograph" was born. In the 1800's......so what did poeple do before that time...when they could "tell what time it was". How about...the Sun? And the only reason farmer didn't work at night...was because it's dark..and they can't see? So what's the excuse now? Nothing? You can work anytime night or day..and still get the job done. And the fact...that huge corporations like "Intel" for example...have established "flex time schedules" to meet the the vast amount of needs of all their employees...some with kids, some without..and some with all kinds of things going on...that change from day to day? Which they have spent millions of dollars...in research on this...and by them....allowing their employees to work in golf shirts instead of suits and ties...and come in when they want within a range or time....they've created an environment, that is conducive to creative thought, and allowing the "employee" to determine what time is best for them? And ....they don't do it because they are "nice"...they do it, because it works and it makes them....MORE MONEY!!! lol There you go.....they go "with the flow"....and they, are one of the largest corporations in the world? The bottom line....productivity. They call this the "Humanist" managerial style....versus...the "pragmatic" style of managment and they have found the numbers don't lie. If possible...it is the proven "better way to go" amd is a win / win for everyone concerned? My brother in law...retired from Intel...so I've heard about this first hand as well as studying it in Bussiness school as a model of plan ( strategy )
Anyway....in one day.....I got more done than I have in a very lont time. I'm able to "enact" and take advantage of my creativity again and this is what was missing. which for me as an Artist....you can image, that was a real problem?
Any way, I just wanted to share on of my new discoveries with an entire plan of action which I am following through on. This is so cool..and it related to this very thing and my wife...would never have gone for it since it did not fit "into Ground Hog Day.
I stumbled by accident....in a local buy and sell sight.....this thing called "Nomiku"..."sous vide" cooking. I'll enclose the link to it and put it at the end here....but my thoughts along these lines go right into this as I said. Working smarter...not harder and thinking about simplifying and reducing the "work...time..and yes.....clean up after wards" so very very cool. And...it's WiFi controlled which means...oi can operate it remotely....from anywhere that has cell service? It is the equivalent...to a pressure cooker on one hand...and "slow cooker" on the other....bit ot tales a fraction of the time.....uses no pots or pans......no clean up afterwards and you can actually get away with....no stove or oven? Your entire kitchen...could be reduced to this gadget, an idunction hot plate..and a hand blow torch....to do damn near anything? No stove, no oven..and your entire kitchen could fit in one drawer..for everything? ) or almost everything? and you can prepare everything ahead of time....and set it up to start...at the push of a button on your cell phone?
So, when I saw this ad for one at 1/2 price brand new in the box.....and come to find it was a duplicate wedding gift for the seller.....that was a win win there too? It was the opportunity...and seeing the benefit and knowing exactly how I will make that work? But of course...I've been cooking for years and know how to cook...and I also know that restaurants have these things ...but they cost thousands of dollars until now?
Amd why, do restaurants use these devices to cook food for their customers? Consistency, and repeatability....and time it take to get the food out of the kitchen and on to the customers plate...perfect every time? That's all I needed to see.....I knew it...right when I saw it...instantly in fact?
And worst case scenario....if push came to shove? I got it brand new for 1/2 price...still unused in the box? I could sell it for more money than I paid....and it's the latest greatest version out there.....so there is an instant market for it. No problem there?
If I tried to even explain this to my wife....it would have disrupted her entire being!! LOL Just trying to explain it...l.would have thrown her for a loop. No......wait...........no........wait...............no............oops. Too late....you missed your window of opportunity on that one. Along with all the thousands of opportinity, she misses...since...she doesn't look for them.....has no creative problem solving ability and is stuck in a rut in her head? And wonders why she goes no where?
I know why? You go no where fast.....living in Ground Hog Day.....that's why? if every day it the same....the world is changing all around you every single minute of every single hour.....then what does that say here?
If you are going to do battle with the world....then you better become a Marine. Semper Fi......Hooah!! LOL.....( and then some ) Adapt and over come.....and go with the flow.
And by the way....the Echo Dot II..from Amazon...is one of the best devises for ADHD....I can possibly think of? As a "reminder devise"....it beats timers hands down. All you have to do is "speak"....it doesn't get any easier than that. I definitely, put that in the "highly recommended" as an ADHD tool to help do the reminding....that is so easy.....it's just stupid easy.....that's all I can say. LOL I don't use it for all the things they claim....just for timers and reminders.....it works perfectly for that alone. As long as you have cable or a cell phone.....it's only $50 bucks. Worth the price of admission there.....it works like a champ and is better than hiring a person to do it....and it doesn't give you any lip either? LOL For what it's worth.
https://www.amazon.com/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=nomiku+wi-fi+immersion+circul...
J
The heat is insane out there
Submitted by Chevron on
I have a relative in the NW. Did you see the NYT article, that said that 2/3 of the city of Seattle had no air conditioners? Portlandia made the story too. Stay cool and keep your doggies cool. They've likely never encountered weather like this in their pug lives.
Whew!! You can say that again lol
Submitted by kellyj on
I've been running the air conditioner full time and it's still 80 degree inside. My basement is cool though and I have work down there too. Been in and out all day just to keep cool.
Sharing another somewhat interesting visit from my wife today. Out of the blue, unannounced with no warning. That, in itself doesn't bother me. I use to have an open door policy with my friends when I was younger ( no internet or cell phones ) so dropping by was a way of life. It is how we all use to keep in touch with each other which is part of my not being use to people never actually seeing each other any more. This kind of open door policy, use to be an accepted thing which was in part.....t.my ability to escape from my house when I was younger and always be able to find someone or somewhere to go and meet up with different people without plan. In some ways.....it is an open invitation with not a lot of boundaries plus.....you never knew who was going to drop by at any moment and sometimes there'd be a party going on before you new it? Impromptu, but none the less and very spontaneous. Thinking more about this, there is something inherently natural in once ability to move about and drop in and join someone in what "they" are doing? With no agenda per se.....and just join them and sometimes help them do some work or what ever, the work was just a pass-time while you visited and enjoyed their company?
I'm not lamenting about the past, as much as thinking about this pattern or way of doing things which from just how I explained it........this actually does form a pattern that can continue on later in life? Without thinking about this any more deeply, there is something to this that is a very good thing. I am not this way anymore or want people dropping by unannounced, but I was thinking about just yesterday, when I went over to the ladies house to buy this kitchen gadget from? As I walked up the walk.....the signs of kids were visible some someone had been busy with some chalk and the walk was covered with "drawings" with a big "Welcome" scrawled on the cement. lol I doubt very much it was the ladies that much I'm sure of? LOL
But this is something I would have done and in fact, I would hang around outside my house with a basket ball or my bike project just in case someone happened by? The point is.....people were welcome to drop by and they didn't need to ask permission to do so? And the same was true going the other way around for the most part....it's just what people did? ( without a phone you carry around with you since the only time a phone was around was when you were at home? And I was not home....very much of the time if I could help it? LOL I had a bicycle....know what I mean?
But also remembering my older sister....the recluse ( inattentive undiagnosed as I suspect )....she was a recluse and didn't like people just stopping by. Very much in need to plan and know who was coming and when? No surmises with her!! OMG!! But she is definitely an introvert by the true definition. Very deliberate and very intentional...with a plan and an agenda in mind? She knew what she wanted..and didn't want..ich seems to fit the same pattern as my wife in oh so many ways? This is an interesting dichotomy and also interesting to note....the ADHD symptoms here.....except, without this ( strange and bizarre behavior ), the dual personality and the instant anger and the abrupt changes in behavior? These behaviors that go completely contrary to everything else. In fact, my sister always seems to be very in control which between all the family members....she is actually more like my father in that way which I'm thinking in part is just personality traits or temperaments but without the raging, instant anger and the attacking what so ever. None of that, have I ever seen with her.....but the first part she has in spades and then some? The person who could live on a deserted island with a lifetime supply of books and she's be pretty happy. As she has admitted to me when I've said that about her as joke? LOL She is very stand offish, not "outgoing" and vey reserved to make the point. And she is never overtly rude....like, non existent in her repertoire and is simply just a conscientious person as she shows in her mannerisms? And in her action as well?
Now, aside from the parts that I said my sister doesn't posses.....my wife could easily line up well with the rest of it and she has made it very clear.....she hates people dropping over, to the point of rudeness when someone has and definitely made it clear that the "welcome sign" was not on. Adamant about it, .....possibly, the "closed door" manifestation in the same way? In the physical and other wise without any doubt. Not friendly to strangers that's for sure.
So here I am, cooling off..and I hear the front door open? and not expecting anyone, that got my attention in a hurry. But as it was, it was my wife and I went "hey, what are you doing here? But actually....as I always am...in a welcoming sort of way and just as friendly as I ever am........going back to what I said? Thinking and actually knowing......this is where it comes from and in that much....it's just a healthy response no "diagnosis" involved. The part that hit me as so weird however...is everything I said about my sister and my wife and what they share in "their ways". The hypocrisy here is mind blowing but I remembered me saying this one time to my T privately, and he said "no, it's not hypocrisy"
Another illuminating moment, that was made clear to me in what happened next? She told me she stopped by to water the plants outside ( the plausible deniability ). And then...she said 'to talk"....lol. Are you with me so far? Not to "visit"....or "drop by" as I might say.....but "to talk".........which literally means as I come to know......."to speak word out of her mouth, h by the truest definition of the words...if words are coming from your mouth...then you are talking? Whether you are speaking to anyone else or not....you are still talking none the less? LOL Which in the sense...that she means it....it is that literal, whether it's to anyone else or not? LOL As the definition of...."to talk" in the singular would be? the second you changed the context to a different one, it all became pretty clear? See Jane run....run Jane run. There is no hidden meaning here....no alternative interpretation? LOL But this was not before I went outside with her and visited...as I "would have done" myself? And then I went back to what I was doing......and that's when she came back in and said....."well, can we "talk"? I said." I thought we just did?" LOL "Talking" eh? Lets here what YOU want to say? I didn't say that but almost since I got the picture clearly and I was thinking this exactly? "What on earth...would motivate someone, that I know so well....to go out of their way....pretend to come over to water....and now.....here were are....the moment of truth....."Yes.....I want to hear what you have to say?? " ( very much 0 since this is that "bizarre thing" and I'm going to get my answer right now?
I'm not going to go through it....since it was the same as it always was. Wierd incoherent bits and peices of things and lot of questions. Questioning, questioning, questioning in the very convoluted ...completely indirect and dishonest kind way? And it got heated fir a moment because of the contraditions and the inconsistencies and I called her on it every time and got short with her since now.....she just invaded my peace and calm and got me starting to heat up again? WHY?? ARE YOU HERE!!!!
TRUST. The absolute, incomplete inability to TRUST. What she went so out of her way...to pose or to pretend and to feign a drop by visit....."to talk"......was to make sure, that I was going to do her car brakes this weekend.....like I told her I would already? And my comment to her was......"What's changed? I said I would? What makes you think I won't? Why are you here? Do you think I'm going to not be here after I said I would? Do you think I'll change my mind in the span of 2 DAYS???
Anyway.........this came to light so clearly and so irrationally and so completely obvious to me under those circumstances......that "THIS"....is that bizzarre and unusual "thing" that I have never seen before? I never have seen "distrust" to this extreme level before....that I couldn't even recognize it since it;s masked over by so many things and she purposefully goes out of her way not hide it? "Distrust".....or ..."No Trust" more likely? To have "NO TRUST".....in your repetoire....shows itself in exactly this way?
That...is NOT...an ADHD symptom....I am pretty darn sure of that? Comparing my sister....my entire family or anyone I have ever tried to get close to or near? No one has ever displayed this "bizzarre feature" of "NO TRUST".......except, mu "Uber Christian" co-worker......it was the same quality...for the same reason.......and it showed itself in these behaviors which is just bizarre or foreign to me? So foreign...that I can't or didn't even recognize it as that?
So as I was mentioning my "Christian" co-worker...and my wife...in the same way.......this is that "thing" that has nothing to do with being a "Christian"...since my wife is pretty non religious....but shares this same feature exactly?
'No Trust" and fear. That, is a bad combination and comes out in the wash......in the "thing" that is the deal breaker for me? If I now.....had to say "what's the deal breaker for you?" Someone who is full of fear...and has no ability to TRUST. And I mean it. Not just not very easy to get to know people or like my sister or stand offish, aloof like my sister......but the absolute, inability to "TRUST"....literally, in absolute terms.
And of course, I told my wife....."yes.....it;s the same answer you got 2 days ago.....nothings changed"
If that could be useful to someone else.....I know it took me a long time in getting there? To sum it up and to make it succinct.....that is "IT".....the "thing"....the "bizarre and unusual" that I could not put my finger on exactly? It makes people do funny things.....bizarre and unusual....no doubt. The next time I get that uneasy feeling....I will now what that person is feeling and experiencing and that would be good indicator to get as far away from that person as possible. Before they have a chance to do something since nothing good will come of it....I'm pretty darn sure of that? It's not anger, hatred or anything like it....it's simply "suspicion" cloaked or masked by something else. Now I know why they say..."hesitation kills". That's like the opposite of impulsive....compared to me? Diametrically opposed?
J
Just guessing, J
Submitted by Chevron on
If your wife doesnt introspect, as you've said in the past, she may take some time to know by her own lights what is going on in the separation.
One way to read that pasta ladle interaction was that she was showing that she was still there. One way to read the thing about coming over unannounced, then dinking around and as far as you can tell, finally getting to the point of her visit, asking you if you would still do what you said you'd do, might...just guessing...have been to check: are you still there in the relationship? I may be completely off.
I dont know what I want but are YOU there? That kind of thing. She may not be understanding or trusting a lot of things at this point, if she didnt do her introspective work to get her own clarity before the separation. She may still be working out : what she wants, did she do the right thing, has she lost connection with you, will it be OK. The darn thing is, people who don't tackle the hard relationship stuff and find their own bottom lines and live the bottom lines end up having to deal with it later anyway, no matter how well or ill they deal with it later.
It just read to me that she was checking that you were still there. Even the thing about will you still work on the car could have been a cover.
Trust is one of those relationship bedrocks.
It's 110 degrees here by the way....( wow )
Submitted by kellyj on
It's been a very long time ( if ever ) that I remember seeing that number pop up on my outdoor thermometer? ( or any?? Death Valley when I was a kid??? thinking so. ...whew ) Anyway, yes I know you are right about everything you said and ( me ) always getting intently focused on the "one thing" or another that never seem to fit? I really think in what you are saying about "I don't know what I want are YOU there??" I think like always.....all of these things come into play and I know it appears as I write that I stay pretty narrowly focused on this "thing"...what ever that is? It moves around of course!! LOL For me personally, it does serve me to do this and what I've not really mentioned with me ( since I have been here before ) that you are absolutely right......if you don't deal with it know....it will be waiting for you later.
There IS....absolutely no way out or no escaping it...and I mean any of it, because it will always be there waiting until you deal with it and figure it out. Figuring it out is actually processing it all the way through. And I mentioned this along time ago but the "grieving steps" in their completion until your all the way done. And I mean....all the way out the other end? At least to a point where it really has no power over you which at that point...it's hardly a bug bite? like ouch. Okay, lets move on?
But the "thing" ( lol ) that I really have absorbed or immersed myself into the most is the Attachment Theory again. This plays right into this entire conversation. It's to the point....that I actually see it. And a part of me was fascinated with the idea of you having no recall or memory.....of this "time period" you up and moving around ..and actually are "conscious"....but have no memory of it except in your subconscious. There are things "invisible" .....lol....for lack of a better description, but there things that make perfect sense....when you ask or you remember these stories of you when you were a baby and toddler? It's not hard to imagine.....having a mother and "two" older sisters who used you as a play thing and dress up doll? LOL I only know of the stories and a couple of pictures which I always wanted to burn but I knew everyone would be really upset if I did? LOL Thank God...I have no memory of that!! But it's not a far stretch from there all the way back to the day you are born. And as I recall......40 minutes ( as they theorize ) since you take your first breath.......all of these things and experiences play into or developed in an insecure attachment style? And just what causes each one independently of each other.
And the real deal here with me when I stop and think about and I do think about it all the time for one reason mainly? It for compassion....it really is where I find it because I have to ask...."what would it take, to make a person end up with so little trust? To wound them so deeply...it scars them for life in this way? In an only going way.......it isn't just disappointment or normal emotions to normal events, this is abandonment to a level that ( picturing this baby or toddler ) they are left to fend for themselves or neglected so long or so badly...that all they know is the terror of being helpless and no one comes to save them. When I picture or feel what that would like like....it breaks my heart, and I can understand why someone would end up that way? And can they risk ever having that happen to them again? Even on a subconscious level......it is still a memory or to say...that the experiences they had added up to this in effect. They actually did experience this. It is real...and is not made up out of no where? It is their own real experience that is different than anyone else at that time. And all the reasons why...that feed into it and along with it? That right there, tells me this....whether I know it or not.....it is all in there somewhere? Even the parts that are completely outside of my awareness or memory.....it is real and it happened and it is definitely in there? And it always will be there until you go in and process it back through and out the other end? Kind of like a car wash.....but only in concepts!!!
That is what going to therapy did. That where I learned to go in there and how to find it? And once you've done it once....you can do it again since you know how? And for that matter.....it's what I've being doing in my own way all along here? Processing as I go....so it won't be waiting for me latter. If anything, that's my excuse for my winded post and my narrow focus sometimes? I got a specific thing in there....that needs a little more work of a second look and it will bug the crap out of me......when it;s right on the tip of my tongue but I can't quite get it!! LOL It's like "that close!!"...so I hate to stop at the 2 yard line sometimes....it kind of what it feels like sometimes which as I am....if I put it down right then...I might not come back and finish it? As I am......hard to believe?? LOL But the "Trust"? specifically was this item that was standing out in an unusual way? Funny looks and non verbal things that you'd just have to witness in person to put them all together into one thing that makes sense? And this makes sense....from everything I've seen? Now hadd everything into it.....the "trust thing" then show up as a pattern under certain specific circumstances which without anything else....she is with me? I don't forget that either ( my symptoms and how that plays against trust ) but I've also been with other women..and haven't seen that exactly either? Anjd they were all with me so at least I do have a baseline? LOL
But these are all thoughts I've had going along and haven't really said that as such? But I really do see the things you are saying and all those things play into this too. Actually...not thinking anything much at all and just doing it because she thinks about and she does do that too....without thinking? Mostly....but I know how that is myself. LOL
I'm going to go check the temperature again? ( yikes!!! ) I'll let you know.
J
That spelunking with your
Submitted by Chevron on
That spelunking with your mind, looking for understanding or for a memory is something isn't it?
Time for me to sign off, J. Stay cool and make sure your doggies have plenty of water in that heat.