Forum topic: Kicking someone out

Sat Oct 4th, 2014 - 6:49pm by boilergirl

Anger, Frustration & ADHD

I am trying to be proactive and think about what will happen if I truly decide to end things. Dh and I both have our name on the mortgage. I started back to work a month or two ago and can pay the bills, but not anything extra for an apartment. Also, me leaving with the kids would leave him the house that I do not trust him paying for. Therefore, he would screw up my credit. I don't think I can refinance on my own b/c we have too much credit card debt and I don't make enough. If he refuses to leave, is there anything else I can do to make him leave? He does not have a regular job and cannot afford the mortgage without my paycheck. I do not have family nearby that I can stay with. 

Comments

Submitted by PoisonIvy on Sat Oct 4th, 2014 - 7:07pm

I'll think about this and let you know if I have any suggestions.  The finances do make things challenging, for you and other families in similar situations.  (One of my best friends is facing the same issues now.)

Submitted by Standing on Sat Oct 4th, 2014 - 10:01pm

Maybe apply for legal aid? If he won't leave on his own, the court may have to rule about who stays in the house. I know sometimes couples must sell the house and divide the proceeds. Do you have a church or does he have a group of men to help hold him accountable? My husband does not allow anyone to hold him accountable, but i hear that this can turn things around for some. I'll keep thinking, too. oh, and on your other question.. maybe your community mental health or county agency for adult protective services can give some help.

My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. Psalm 120:6

Submitted by redhead1017 on Mon Oct 6th, 2014 - 12:34pm

"he doesn't have anyone to hold him accountable"

I'm guessing that this is a VERY common issue here, in fact I would wager that the majority of DHs do not have anyone who is aware of their behavior but their SOs. 

For example, my DH hasn't held a job in several years. The entire bottom half of the house and two storages are dedicated to his collections. He spends hours every day going through it and posting right wing rants online. Yet he is one of the most popular guys in town, everyone loves him, and he's never met a stranger. If anyone really knew what he was up to, they would be shocked. And I can't confide in anyone because of it.