My Partner Doesn’t Understand Self-Quarantine

I read a news article not that long ago in which a medical expert said “If you think you are doing too much to prevent the spread of the Corona Virus, you are probably not doing enough.”  That really stuck with me because those who chafe at the social distancing needed to keep ourselves and others healthy are those who probably aren’t being that careful about hand-washing, staying away from others, and more.  That puts everyone at risk.

Risk?  What risk?

The problem is, some people have a high tolerance for risk, chafe at authority, and have trouble remembering to take extra precautions about ADHD.  And, heck, there is also a lot of confusion emanating from Washington, D.C. at the moment about what is necessary.

“When our oldest son got sick we were asked to self-quarantine.  Now our youngest is also sick…our biggest issue currently is what does self quarantine really mean??? And does self isolation matter … My husband did not think because is was not a pressurized room & we have forced air it mattered to keep our son in a separate room. We were all exposed already for sure any way. Medical advise says otherwise and he finally agreed.

I gave my husband the CDC information on self-quarantine. I also had a pathologist friend check in with my husband to clarify what self-quarantine was because he thinks he can leave. He thinks going out to pick up food at restaurants via curbside or going to his office after hours is okay… I also had a friend who is a pathologist check in with my husband to clarify what self-quarantine was because he thinks he can leave. He thinks going out to pick up food at restaurants via curbside or going to his office after hours is okay… Seriously feel like I am banging my head against a wall and 14 days started over today.”

This entire family has been exposed, and this woman ended up not only using medical advice from trusted friends and from the CDC to help alleviate some of the confusion, she also reiterated to her husband that his is not just about his family, but also about his best friend, co-workers, the take out workers and other community members as well.  I hope that by talking with him about how he is part of the army of good people keeping the community well he can be convinced that staying at home is not so bad, after all.

I also suggested that this woman make sure that she get all of the virtual support she needs for the 14 day quarantine, and during a period when she is going to be very anxious about the health of her children, one of whom is immune compromised and so at very high risk.

Finally, though it is difficult to contemplate, this woman should prepare for a worst case scenario back up plan, in which she or both she and her husband become gravely ill.  What would happen then?  Who would be responsible for caring for the kids?  Which doctors would another adult need to know about (and what’s their contact information)?  If you don’t have a will, at least write the basic information down and send it to a family member who is not in your household.  Though she may well not need it, if she and her husband become ill and are taken to the hospital they will be glad they thought ahead.