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Original post deleted out of guilt and frustration.
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Dear "nitpicker" - I feel like one too - but I am not
I feel shameful and spineless too. This after over 40 years of trying to understand, compromising, giving everything I had to someone who does not even realize that I have been doing this all these years. Someone who becomes defensive and offensive if I let myself be real with him a little bit. I feel like I just GAVE my life away to someone who does not care for us at all. You are not alone. I am realizing more and more it is not US that is the problem.
I think you meant to say: you
I think you meant to say: you are realizing that YOU are not the problem. Ahem.