Submitted by Swedish coast on 02/08/2024.
Dear all, now it seems this post-divorce blues has turned into some kind of hibernation. I'm so exhausted. Life seems to be over. I can't fathom ever feeling enthusiastic about anything, dragging myself out of bed and to work every day.
Is this depression? I'm too weary to find out. Normally I'd go for exercise and such. Now all I want is to lie still under woolly plaids all day.
ADD really seems to have made sad leftovers of me.
How long has it taken you to regain some strength after divorce?
Hi Swedish
Submitted by CANTGOBACK (not verified) on
I don't know your age range, and not to minimize the trauma and impacts of divorce at all... but as a perimenopausal woman I have experienced lows due to hormone fluctuations and so I always keep that in mind when I don't feel well...
But otherwise I think it's truly normal to experience depression and grief from what you've experienced.
I hope you feel better soon. And don't hesitate to talk to your doctor or a therapist to get yourself some.mucn needed support!
Now this seems to be a virus…
Submitted by Swedish coast on
Ok, so another virus? Really? Kids and I have been at least one down with fever and cold/influenza/covid/RS every day since the week before Christmas...
So I can't speak to post
Submitted by Eighpryl_AB on
So I can't speak to post divorce personally, but I can speak to the after effects of getting out of a toxic or abusive relationship bc I read A LOT on what to expect and how to cope post abuse. Being absolutely exhausted is actually very common. Your mind and body have been in survival mode for so long that they are exhausted. Rest is the best way to promote healing to your body. I imagine it works the same way for the mind. Hugs! I hope some rest will do wonders for you!
Thank you Eighpryl
Submitted by Swedish coast on
Hugs back to you!
Be super kind to yourself
Submitted by 1Melody1 on
I expected to feel immediately better and relieved once I left, but I didn't. Not really. I was happy I'd finally "pulled the trigger" because I knew it was the only way to save myself, but I didn't expect this exhaustion and apathy for life that followed (that you described so well). I'd long ago grieved the relationship, but all the same I really did feel empty and like "nothing" for about a year. If I can offer any consolation, it really did get better after that. My girl, we've been through hell and I think it's normal for us to just collapse once the hard work of the physical separation is over. Also, I heard a great podcast on how now we have "write a new story" for our lives. I saw myself as getting married, having kids and retiring happily and securely with my partner. Now my "story" has to change and it takes time to accept the vast rewriting we're doing... just as when a spouse dies, for example. Our lives have taken a major turn and ultimately that will be better for us than staying, but that doesn't mean it isn't a HUGE upheaval for our minds and bodies. You are doing GREAT, Swedish. If you need help, please keep reaching out to your therapist and doctor. This isn't what you'll feel like forever.
Thinking about you often.
Making me tear-eyed
Submitted by Swedish coast on
Thank you Melody, what a beautiful answer. You're right, the story and rewriting it is the thing here. Life just lost it's story. Rewriting it is a huge task, too overwhelming for someone who just survived shipwreck and washed up on shore.
A year. It's good to have some sense of the time it'll take.
You're so right. Thank you so much for your always graceful presence.