Forum topic: What were the teen years like for your ADHD spouse (or yourself, the ADHD spouse)?

Mon Aug 30th, 2010 - 5:09am by Cathryn

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

I'm real curious what the teen years were like for other ADHDers.  My ADHD husband didn't have the best years.  For most of his teen years he was EXTREMELY hyperfocused on one particular girl.  He was truly obsessed with her and he put so much time and energy and thought into dreaming about her, he wasn't able to experience any other things that a teen should experience.  It made it so he wasn't able to develop his social skills, grades weren't great despite his being very smart.  Everything else in his life suffered b/c of it.  He did very little about his feelings as far as actually wanting to date her or be with her b/c his self esteem was quite low.  In fact, about a year ago I found out that he feels that if he married this woman instead of me, that his life would have been much better.  You know, how many ADHDers aren't happy with their life, feel hopeless about the future.  So he unrealistically thought all would be fixed if he had simply married another gal.  He also thinks all would be fixed if we moved across the country to California-where he's from.  Or life would be better if we put a projector system with surround sound on the credit card (yes that did happen, no it didn't solve all our problems, it only made more problems). 

Anyway, I drifted a bit there.  So what were other ADHD teenagers like?

Comments

Submitted by Sueann on Tue Aug 31st, 2010 - 8:35am

My husband is 48 so when he was a kid ADD was thought be a disease of boys who could not sit still. He was miserable and cried every day. They sent him to the school phychologist. They tested him for dislexia, which he does not have, and when they found out he isn't dislexic they said nothing was wrong with him. They told him he should "sulk". I have no idea what that was supposed to do, neither does he. What my parents-in-law did was send him to a Friends School during the difficult years of junior high. Small school, lots of individual attention. He thrived there and learned enough social skills to survive high school. In high school he hung out with the "smart" kids (one of them now teaches quantum physics at Harvard, so they really were smart) and could keep up and converse with them. My husband has quite excellent conversational skills (which I know is oftern a problem for ADDers) and has used that to be successful in sales and now, as a peer counselor. He can talk his way out of anything.

Linsy's picture

Submitted by Linsy on Thu May 12th, 2011 - 11:42am

Teens seem to have internet induced ADD, and I seem to be catching it too.