My wife hasn't followed through on any kind of treatment, so things aren't great.
Yesterday, I discovered she didn't pickup very critical medication for our epileptic cat. Weeks ago, before the holidays, I brought up meds would be out soon. My wife diligently managed prescription renewal with the vet and orders with the pharmacy to refill between Christmas and New Year's. I asked her on Tuesday (NYE) to make a reminder for herself to pickup the meds Thursday Jan 2nd when the pharmacy was open again. Well, 5pm after a long day at work and other responsibilities, I get home and ask if she picked up the meds... She did not (she'd been working and apparently decided on a whim to clean up a lot of her DOOM piles). So, fortunately the pharmacy was open until 6pm and I got the needed meds.
Everything I have read says to avoid parenting and micromanaging your ADHD spouse. So, other than handling anything of any importance myself in addition to working all day and the other responsibilities, how do I avoid these enraging shit shows?! She can't be trusted on important things that affect our family...
We talked it, the preliminary steps got done, I reminded, I asked her to setup a reminder for herself, and still extremely close to failure and affecting our cat's health.
Comments
The impossible cat
Sorry Bill, I understand your frustration.
It’s funny, the non-existing cat happens to be my go to illustration of how our ADD family has differed from others. Just about everyone I know has a cat. It’s normally not that big a responsibility. But it’s always been clear to me even a healthy cat would be impossible for us, because of my ex’s ADD. The moment it needed veterinary care, worry or special treatment, it would completely overthrow the delicate balance of our combined health and sanity. We had no resources for the extraordinary. And if we had had any, we would have needed them for family members, we could never prioritize a pet. A cat would have been a far too extravagant and daring step in our life.
Your distress I find quite natural. It’s like this to constantly be let down. It has made me anxious and always prepared for disaster.
No solution
I could not live with delinquent bills and kids left outside waiting to be picked up in 10 degree weather so i did it all myself. I lived as though I was a single parent with all the responsibilities. The frustration of being disappointed and not being able to express it due to rsd meltdown is worse to me than captaining the ship. Personally the fallout of undone tasks is worse because the issue devolves into a dumpster fire when all could be avoided. It's not a surprise that the electric bill comes every month but when you have no strategy in place to pay recurring bills it shouldn't be a surprise when your power is off. Everyone in the household suffers unless the non picks up the slack. Even with meds and therapy there is only so much that can improve.
Love it!
It's not a surprise that the electric bill comes every month but when you have no strategy in place to pay recurring bills it shouldn't be a surprise when your power is off.
Well I'm going to bed w/ a smile on my face, lol......Thanks to you adhd32!
c:)