Good morning, in trying to figure out why I'm irritated all the time, need to be doing something, and can't sleep in - I think I have high functioning anxiety or productivity anxiety. I know that if I slip on my projects/responsibilities things won't get done properly in our household and can easily snowball into bigger problems.
Do any other ADHD spouses suffer from this? I've always been this way, and I wonder if that's why my two marriages have been with women that have ADHD tendencies (lack of organization/attention to detail). Figuring, I can take on more of those deficiencies than most.
Just a slight revelation on my own issues, in search of some calm and maybe a return of joy in my life.
Any thoughts from the collective?
Comments
Familiar feeling
This anxiety is a hundred percent relatable. What happens when you’re attached to someone with ADD who is chronically passive or even actively messes things up, is your teeth grind, your muscles ache, your mind races feverishly for solutions. There are none, in my experience. You have no control of the limbs or mind of this other person who doesn’t function like you or understands your needs. You might try to explain, you can try for decades, the message doesn’t get through. You just get resented for it.
I’m biased, I got out. But evidence 1,5 years after divorce is my health improves. I no longer ache all over when waking up in the morning. I’m not habitually anxious. When I do something it leads to a more or less predictable outcome. When I muster my strength, there is now something to show for it. It’s extremely comforting.
Even if one prefers partners with ADHD (I suspect I might too), I’d be surprised if there were any personality type fit to match a severe ADHD partner. I rather think we will love them, and suffer.
I do too suffer from it
I can relate, though I’m not sure if I have high functioning anxiety or not. I do have tendency but not all descriptions fit me.
I can’t even remember the last time I slept in. I think it’s due to having a major mental overload since I married my adhd husband.
I have an endless to do list including reminding (repeatedly) my husband his house chores, etc. It is exhausting and I feel like my mind can never fully rest and that’s leading to lack of quality sleep and irritability. It is a lot when your SO doesn’t (or not capable) contribute.
I have never dealt with anyone with adhd before my husband so I’m still trying to figure out how I can manage the situation but if we end up divorcing, I will be sure to stay away from a person with adhd in the future. Life is hard enough without it.