My house is clean :)...And empty!!! Yes!!!.....It took her months to move her stuff. Most of it in the last 50 days, because she (as usual) always plays and justifies waiting to the last minute...No dopamine in doing it orderly, and early, now is it...lol....After she left, I have had probably 5000 pounds of (garbage) stuff to get rid of...I'm about finished, (maybe a few drawers)...I can walk around and I have ton's of room in the house and shop!! :)...I've be able to start remodeling one area at a time...Doing most of the work myself...I come home from the grocery store a couple of days ago, and was able to place my grocery's on the table...It was the probably the first time in years I wasn't forced to place them on the stove top to put away :)...I didn't know whether to cry or shout for joy! I called a friend (former co-worker, and we also attended the same church) who has been divorced from an abusive husband for 4 years, and we have been walking together in the afternoon's when she gets off work...She and I probably want ever remarry, (both been hurt so badly) but she is awesome, and extremely beautiful, and we have ton's in common...We both want to be friends for a long time, and do things together...I cook a good bit, and offer her food...:)...I told her if she don't want me offering to feed her, to just tell me...She said I don't mind at all! :)...This past Thursday after we walked and went our separate ways to clean up...She came over to the house and I grilled us a nice ribeye w/trimmings...She jumped right in and made our salads, retrieved our potatoes from the stove etc..(highly efficient, new for me) and we shared a bottle of wine, and talked right there at the table for a couple of hours...Just to have adult conversation w/ some one who is attentive and kind is almost more than my heart can handle...:)
I got my first real apology from my ex. the last day she could be in the house moving stuff...She walked into the room I was in, and looked me in the eye's and said....I had no idea how much stuff I had...I want to apologize for keeping you trapped in this hoarded up prison...Then she calmly said: "I'm a hoarder" and I will need time and help to get better...I almost cried...
Many people who live in minds that are so self absorbed, that most of their time and thoughts are about self pleasing activities. These mind types can be quiet numb (as we read here often) to the needs of others, and even how their lived out actions effect others...Especially a spouse...These mind type's do well single...
c
Comments
I’m relieved to hear it!
That sounds so good, C.
You’re right, it’s possibly that simple: some people aren’t cut out to live with others.
My person told me repeatedly and many years ago, our marriage wouldn’t work, he’d disappoint me. I wouldn’t listen, too preoccupied with building us and the small children a life, working, doing it all.
My take home message is to always listen to what people tell you about themselves. Even if they’re depressed and you want to shrug off the negativity.
I’m glad your ex wife finally was able to apologize for the mess she’s caused.
C, you seem to be in good shape. I’m happy for you!
I am happy for you
That sounds lovely. I’m so happy for you. Your peace glows out of those words. Well done for having the strength to work through the pain, and the bravery to be open with someone new. It’s a joy to hear. Xx
You sound happy!
C, I've been reading your posts for years and it brings me so much joy to see your happiness pouring out of this one. Enjoy every moment! ❤️