Learning more about ADHD, and how I fit into this wide ranging subject, is helping me understand why I am the way I am. It also helps explains why some things work for me, and some things don't ( or not so well ) in managing myself, and my personal well being. This again is me, working on my strengths.
So I finally bought a new motorcycle. It's been years since I've ridden. But I've always known, going back to a teenager ( even earlier ) there was something about riding a motorcycle ( or mini bike as a kid) that did something positive for me in a pronounced way. So pronounced, that it has a lingering positive effect that elevates my mood and disposition in a way nothing else can. I'm still curious exactly how this happens, but the positive effect I've always known without question.
My van needed some work, so I took the opportunity to ride to work and get my van repaired. There are two ways I can go to work, one: on the freeway in rush hour traffic. Two: rual backroads in a beautiful upbeat setting.
The first two days, I took the rural backroads to become familiar with my new bike. The freeway seemed a little uncomfortable until my body adjusted to the unfamiliar and it had been years to get reacquainted. By the end of the second day, everything came back to me and I felt in control again.
The next day....I took the freeway to work and that's when it all came back to me. That feeling, of being in "the zone" again, fully present, fully alive, when everything comes together in one fluid motion.
This the Zen for me. This is like a week's worth of meditation all rolled into twenty minutes. Jousting cars on the freeway at 80mph, is a feeling like no other. There is no scenery or noticing anything other than the spaces between the cars and semi trucks. All that exists is the spaces in-between ...nothing else matters. Those spaces are where I go, I'm no longer separate from the bike. Traveling faster than the traffic, keeps me out of harms way, staying ahead of them, not behind, or in between.
Being the ball. The ball goes where you decide it goes, in one fluid motion.
The point of me saying all this is the fact that this works. Why it works or exactly how, I don't know? All I know is, the profound positive effect it has on me. And nothing has changed in over 60 years. Being in motion, in complete control is being "in the Zone". And for me, being in the Zone is extremely beneficial. It makes me a much happier, friendlier, positive person any time I get this way. I realize the danger, but in some ways, that's just part of it. Being fully present and engaged is like feeling life to the fullest.
I just thought this was worth sharing, for what it is.
Comments
ER professionals too
J, this fluid state sounds wonderful. Isn’t it like what ER doctors and nurses experience when they deal with disaster and every minute counts? I know I’ve read that ADHD people thrive in this particular setting. One wrong move, like you on your motorcycle, and there’s death. Instead of obsessing about risks, the gifted ones manage this fluently, and love it.
One has to admire it.
Swedish, I Bit the Bullet and Took a Test
I've never been all that worried about taking intelligence tests ( IQ test especially ), probably because I already knew what the outcome would be. I thought.
I've taken plenty of tests in the past and managed to make it through school okay. I didn't struggle except in math. In math, I'm dysfunctional. I might even have dycalculia, as I read, about 30% of people with ADHD have it and I'm probably one of them.
Anyway, the math scores always threw everything off and I always scored about average. I was a 3.0 student without much effort.
I also knew, I had something that made up for the math part. I now know ( for sure ) it's Spatial / Visual Intelligence that's this "thing" that allowed me to draw advanced images as a child at such an early age. It was ridiculously obvious even to me.
And this visual spatial ability, without a doubt, helps me on my motorcycle. ( the spaces in-between ). And my kinetic ability helps me control the bike...the same as drawing pictures ( dexterity ).
So, this mention of being gifted had me wondering so I decided to see what happened if I took a test for Visual-Spatial Intelligence just to see what happened. Saying, without the math part, what my IQ would be?
I took the test, without using a pencil. And true to my ADHD, I was getting bored trying to figure out one problem so I just hurried through it and answered it. If I had used a pencil and paper, I'm pretty sure I could get 100% but, I wanted to see what I could do just using my mind without any help from drawing things out.
I ended up in the 95th percentile with 125 IQ. Thats without trying too hard and doing it quickly shooting from the hip.
There's a lot I could say here, but for now, I'll just say this is not a surprise. If I took the test again, I'm pretty sure I could go higher using a pencil and paper and taking my time.
It also helps explain a lot including a lot of frustration I had with school. I've never worried about whether I was smart or not, but all the tests I took in school, never indicated that I may have any hidden gifts. I knew I could draw, I just didn't know why? And just how deep that rabbit hole went.
Interesting thing in terms of my own family. They were more interested in the grade ( the score ) and pretty much dismissed artististic ability as worthless.
"Artists are a dime a dozen" my father would say. "You can't make a living that way! " In the meantime, my oldest sister got rave reviews for her "straight A's" through school. She recieved academic scholarships, and only one "B" in high school in language as I recall.
But then again. I never recieved anything but A's in art....from 1rst grade throughout college including photography which was a physics class. Yet, my dad again said, "photographers are a dime a dozen, they're just playing around. Get serious! "
Another interesting fact ( comparing me to my sister ) She is the most spatially challenged person I know. She literally, has 0 spatial awareness to the point, she'd get lost in the city we lived in to the point...she'd have to have someone drive her to a place she had an appointment to the day before, so she wouldn't get lost along the way.
On the other hand, when I was 4 or 5 ( possibly 4 ? ) my family and I, picked up my uncle from the airport and I rode home with my uncle in the rental car...just the two of us. I gave my uncle an alternative route home and beat my family. Granted, they stopped because they thought we got lost, but were kind of amazed we were waiting for them in the driveway. I wasn't lost at all, I knew exactly where I was going ! Lol
Point being, I was born that way. I've always had those skills, this is no secret to me. The most frustrating part, is when I tell someone like my own sister, I know exactly where I'm going and how to get there....and she won't believe me because A) she doesn't. And B) she's smarter than I am, so therefore...there's no way I could know?
Well, I guess this only proves there's different kinds of intelligence? And just maybe, just because you're not very good in some ways....doesn't mean "s"#t, if they don't test you for the ways you are?
Anyway, this really doesn't change a thing and I'm still terrible at the things I'm terrible at doing.
In contrast, I'm ( according to the label ) "twice exceptional" having ADHD + .
But here's the deal with that. I don't feel exceptional or particularly gifted. If my parents only knew, they'd be all over that label ! It really doesn't mean anything. Just like getting straight A's in school. My older sister became a stay at home mom which is wonderful. But she really hasn't used her gifts in particular. She likes to read and still does. My point being, she hasn't capitalized or developed those gifts in any way in particular. Not saying that I raising kids, that doesn't apply.
What I'm trying to say is...it's not the label, or the grades, or any title you can name. It's making use of the gifts and doing something with it. I use mine everyday and have developed them over time. All the time, everyday. My particular gifts have some specific advantages. It doesn't discount my disadvantages, it only gives me something I can use to compensate and work with. That doesn't make me exceptional....it just makes me normal.
All I've ever wanted was to be normal. That's really all I've ever wanted. Being exceptional? Pfft. Being as normal as possible is fine with me.
Use it or lose it !!