Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone, 

Again, I'm in such inner distress it seems my heart & mind are about to explode. I (non-ADHD) have been married for over 2 decades (spouse ADHD). It seems what's going on now is much worse than it was 7 years ago. At that time I'd left the state (twice) and moved 800 miles away. There was no way I wanted to be around my spouse. Now, I feel so foolish for returning. I've been back for a few years. WHY did I believe him? 

Boundaries are typically misunderstood as something you place on others...That is true to a degree, but, that kind of thinking will fail more often than not....Most people struggle with boundaries, because they create situations in life, that most of us do not want...Selfish people, or people who want their way in certain area' s of life, will not like boundaries....When we consider marriage relationships, we think about freedom, (naked and unashamed) we think about things (words) like life partner, helper, lover, provider, security etc....Boundary isn't typically one of our go to thoughts.

Hi

Is this a common trait with adhd? Right now I feel completely shocked/lost/hurt/confused and every other word along with it. 
 

so for some context, a guy I've been happily dating (he has adhd, medicated) for 9 months. All super happy, attentive he was the first to call me his girlfriend, introduce me to his mum etc. one day, I receive a random text from a girl who says I'm with her boyfriend. I didn't respond but instead told him. He washed over it and said he'd explain later and carried on asking/telling me about something else that was bothering. 
 

The relationship with my spouse has deteriorated to the point that he frequently does not recall what I say (insists I said something that I did not), and also frequently does not recall what he said ("I never said that" and "you are lying"). It is now easier for me to say nothing rather than being accused of attacking him nearly every time I speak. If I am quiet and not talking "I must be angry with him", but if I say anything then I am criticizing him.

As my ADHD partner and I have been sort of haltingly preparing to have a common future, it seems to happen increasingly that I have brought up topics that should be mutually discussed, and he doesn't seem to be hearing me (there's no response indicating "I agree", or "I disagree", "I need more information", or "I don't really care" etc. and he persists in whatever course of action or inaction was ongoing with regard to the topic) or very often he asks a question that makes it clear he doesn't recall information or an opinion I gave when we discussed the topic before.  

3 days after his ADHD diagnosis (and starting medication) my husband of 23 years told me he thinks our marriage is over.

He says our whole marriage has been a lie: that I've never known the real him and he's been acting the part of a loving husband the whole time. He says there's a block at the back of his brain that has stopped him from ever loving me as much as I love him. I don't actually believe this and nor do people who have known us well since the beginning. But it's heart breaking and frightening.

My (42F) boyfriend (43) and I broke up recently. Our relationship was so awesome at the beginning and then everything just seemed to come crashing down after we moved in together. I broke up with him after 3 months of living together. The breakup lasted 4 months. In July we got back together then I ended it about a week ago. I've been trying to make sense of what happened. Then it clicked for me. He told me once in passing that as a child a doctor told his mom he has ADHD. She ignored it. She was very neglectful and abusive as a parent.

I'm wondering if I'm insane here. Yesterday I took my kids and we were gone for four hours. My adhd spouse is working on tiling a shower right now. He had two rows left (6 tiles) to finish the back wall. In those four hours me and my kids went to place a floral grave saddle at my dad's grave, went to two different craft stores, three home goods stores, got dinner at a drive-in (took a half hour to get our food) and went to a separate restaurant to pick up ice cream for dessert.