MelissaOrlov's blog

I am delighted to announce that I will be giving a seven week seminar starting September 13th for those couples interested in going more in-depth into how to apply the ideas in The ADHD Effect on Marriage to their relationship.  The seminar is not a reiteration of the book.  Rather, it is designed to augment the book, answering questions that you may still have.  I hope it will provide a way for couples whom I cannot fit into my consulting schedule to be able to ask questions and utilize my ideas effectively.  For more information,

Dr. Hallowell and Melissa Orlov were interviewed on Today on August 6th about how ADHD can impact marriage.

Recently, a poster in the forum asked the very good question - if you are all so miserable in your marriages, why do you stay?  I'll give you my own answer - George and I stayed together because even though we were really miserable, we couldn't believe we couldn't do better.  The intractability of the issues we were dealing with didn't make sense.  We had chosen each other as partners for good reason...then things fell apart...but couldn't we make them better again?

Tara Parker-Pope’s article in the NYTimes today is creating a lot of conversation around ADHD and how it impacts marriage, which is a wonderful thing.  But there are a number of people who seem to be responding defensively to the idea and suggesting this is just another way to get people with ADHD drugged up.  Far from it – treating ADHD doesn’t necessarily mean medications, though they can help.  Also, knowing about ADHD in your relationship doesn’t commit you to doing anything differentl

My new book is about to be released, and it contains a significant section on overcoming “obstacle emotions” that keep you from improving your relationship (anger, fear, denial and hopelessness).  I’ve reprinted a very small portion of that section here for those who feel mired in anger.  This section is about the “myths” I sometimes hear people fall victim to about the “usefulness” or justification for their anger.

Six Dangerous Myths About Anger and ADHD

Frustrated non-ADHD spouses will often say to me something such as "It's so obvious that my partner should do X.  I don't understand why he/she won't!"  While a solution to the problem at hand may seem obvious, it's often really not quite so straightforward and here's why:

Dr. Hallowell and his wife, Sue George Hallowell (who is also a therapist) are offering a workshop for couples looking to become more connected.  It will take place on June 12th at the Westin Hotel in Waltham, MA, just outside Boston.  While it's not specifically for couples struggling with ADHD, it will nonetheless provide inspiration and ideas to all who attend.

If you're frustrated with how you and your spouse interact on a daily basis, use these five tips to make immediate improvements. 

Here's a five minute video clip from the May 5 Today Show talking about marriage and the five things any couple can do to improve their marriage.

For a non-ADHD partner, it is SO frustrating to watch your spouse struggle without result.  You want her to do well.  You can see HOW she might improve things.  If you were doing them, it would be EASY.  Yet nothing changes.  How does a non-ADHD partner remain empathetic in this situation, rather than become angry?