Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have read the ADHD & Marriage book many times and tried to work through it and read through posts, etc. on this forum many times and tried to make sense of it all. But sometimes I think I'm just fooling myself. Sometimes I think that there are people with ADHD who do the work and take the medication and are able to have good relationships, even if it is a struggle for them. And then there's me, and really all of us stuck on this forum. And what I mean is that, I'm not married to someone whose problem is ADHD. I am married to someone who has ADHD.

I did a search on ADHD and marriage and found this site.  Reading this I was brought to tears (Not too hard lately) I read about non-adhd spouses, they were pretty much saying exactly how I feel.  I can see exactly how he is in the explanation of how the ADHD spouse feels and thinks too.

I have been married 44 yrs to someone who has gotten progressively worse and worse.  He hasn’t gotten professionally diagnosed as of yet although he fits every single criteria to the “T”. 

I don’t normal post to boards but I feel that I have no where to turn to. So, about a year ago I kicked my husband out of our house due to his anger issues, even though we had just started couples counseling, at the time I was upset and didn’t know what I was doing and just acting on pure emotion and adrenaline, we are both in our early 50's.

https://www.gocomics.com/poochcafe/2019/05/13 v  

Chaz:  You got into the garbage AGAIN?

Poncho:  It's not my fault.  There wree cheese wrappers in there.

Chaz:  I'm so tired of having to scold you over and over!

Poncho:  IIt's no picinic for me to have to keep listening to it!

Chaz:  Well, I am just using a pre-recorded message!

Poncho:  Well, I'm just using ear plugs!

Recording:  Bad dog you are for making a mess all over the--

Do you and your spouse have trouble agreeing on what is best for the two of you?

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there!

Next week, it will be 10 years since my then-husband was fired from what had been only his second long-term (defined as lasting more than 2 years) job of his life.  The job loss and resulting financial difficulties were very stressful, especially because he was fired from his other long-term job about 12 years earlier and then was unemployed, by choice, for about 6 years.

I keep having the urge to make a post here. But I can’t form the words to make a post of any real point, because it isn’t any one thing right now. It’s all of it, all of my cumulative years with him.

And I’m thankful that when I can’t put a post into words of any real substance, you will all understand anyway.  Thanks for being here, everyone. 

I feel like I'm getting closer to a crossroads.  I've been toiling for years (yes, YEARS) to improve my ADHD symptoms.  I feel fortunate to have good health insurance that not only pays for medication, but also alternative treatment via a Naturopath, as well as for therapy.  Therapy and meditation have really brought me to the next level.  And scarily, it is at this level that I have realized that this marriage is not all about what I have to do to improve, and now I am learning to set boundaries and express my wishes to a spouse who has had his foot out the door for years.