Recent forum posts (all topics)

My question is do you think people can change.

I made the mistake of going on to another site and making some comments on a subject. I turned my email notifications off for this site so that if people responded to my post I wouldn't be getting notified anymore.

I made a mistake this morning of going back onto this site just to read what other people are posting. I noticed that someone had responded to one of my comments. They blasted me it was horribly critical, and now I'm crying and upset. Not the way I want to start my day.

I have started reading Melissa's book and had built up so much hope just because she is totally describing my relationship.  It has made me feel like I am not crazy for wanting to stay in it - we are engaged, and I said yes because I *want* to marry him, I *want* to build a life together, but I still have doubts.

......

H is 67 years old and has untreated ADHD.  He has had a successful career and has recently retired.  

In my opinion, he does not sleep well; there is a TV in his room, so when he awakens, the TV immediately is turned on, no matter the time.

H is very agitated in the morning and becomes angry over insignificant things and basically goes on a screaming, profane rampage.  BTW! This is NOT new behavior.

Would appreciate others' input.

My husband was diagnosed about a year ago and is on medication #3 (Adderall) with some success. However, without behavioral therapy he's had the medication amount upped a few times and then it seems to wear off. He's struggled to find solid, reliable talk therapy and was feeling very frustrated until recently. My own therapist has extensive experience in adult ADD specifically with a trauma base, and she agreed yesterday during our session to let me bring him to my next one with her in a week.

My H has a focus on garbage.  He gets enraged every Saturday at me because he feels like I don't process the "throw aways" correctly.  He literally sits on the floor of the kitchen with the 2 garbage bags and sorts, rips labels off glass containers, shreds, and categorizies every fine piece for over 30 minutes.  He is always FUMING at me while he does this because I don't do this.  

I have a choice.  I can do it his way (which to me seems out of proportion of time spent for trash) or..

No, the hurricane had nothing to do with it.  It was because of unpaid bills.

I came across the book, and likewise this site after walking away, yet again, in a flurry of frustration with my husband. I am desperate to make us good again. I miss us! 

He doesn't even have an official diagnosis yet, we've met with our Dr and have an appointment for an eval by a psych, however, after reading the book and clicking through these forums, and my experience with my 8 year old with ADHD, there I no question in my mind. 

I have been with my husband for 17 years married for 15 yrs. He had an affair 2014, we reconciled  and moved to make afresh start. Our son (14 yes) was confirmed ADHD just a few short months ago 

Our  marriage has been up and down our arguments the same pattern.

My husband started another affair just a couple of months ago. He said he'd had enough of the marriage and the constant arguments.

I love my husband. I see that he is wounded, but I hate his behavior (threats of violence, manipulation, etc.). Where do you draw the line between excusable behavior and abuse? Where do you draw the line between forgiving and reinforcing negative behavior?