Recent forum posts (all topics)

"You KNEW you had ADD before we got married and didn't tell me!"

I finally asked my wife (non ADD) to read the book.  But, not the whole book (too much to ask), just the first 30 pages and to tell me what she thinks.   For me, it's been truly eerie to read this book b/c every single paragraph is a "whoa" moment b/c it really feels as if someone has been living in my house with my wife and I and taken notes and put them all to paper.   Well, she made it through the first 17 pages and took this from the book: 1. "You WON'T take any medicine to help the ADD. .

Something I like about my suspected ADD husband

I have to preface this by saying my husband has never been officially diagnosed with this.  It's me who has been looking into it because I thought our marriage sounded just like what Melissa was describing when she was promoting her book.  The more I have been reading though the more I think he has ADD but things aren't too bad with us so I am not pushing him to do anything about this.  I think we are able to get along pretty well because I have a good job and there are just the two of us - no kids to be responsible for.  So he does things that drive me nuts sometimes (like today when he

ALCOHOL?

Forum: 

I would like to hear from anyone who's adhd partner has drinking issues. Either drinking too much, too often, or who seems to totally change into someone/something else when they drink. I am 38, and this morning I came to the conclusion that I have to get rid of alcohol from my life entirely. I've been told by family, friends, and girlfriends that when I drink it's like I'm transformed into someone else; as though I am on the prowl for ANY reason to fight, and if there isn't one then I persist until I get one. It has also ruined me financially over the years.

Alright. That's enough loneliness for me!

I've felt enough loneliness in my relationship to last an entire lifetime!

My workaholic ADD partner just accepted a new shift where he works from 4pm-2am Tuesday to Sunday. Meaning, he'll never have or be able to take a Friday or Saturday off. He's suppose to be one of the top guys there so I'm not sure why he's even being asked to work on the weekends?!?!?! The other top guy refused the shift and told my partner to do the same... but my partner "just can't say no".  (he says no to me constantly, heh, interesting!<--- to the point where I even think he has ODD.) 

At wits end, but hopeful

Hello,

I just ordered this book even though I am not married.  I have been in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend who has ADD.  He definitely has the inattentive disorder and not the hyperactivity.   Luckily he is not impulsive and not a substance abuser.  He actually has a very hard time making ANY decisions and can be very tight with his money, even though he is very successful.

IDEAS that WORK!? (POSITIVE THREADS ONLY PLEASE)

This is a thread to collect ideas from both the ADHD partner and the nonADHD partners to post ideas/strategies that they have tried, and had positive results from. From taking out the garbage, to showing up on time, establishing eating/bedtime routines, to giving/receiving criticisms, communicating needs and handling conflict situations. It might be better if the poster first says if they are the adhd partner (adhd+), or the non adhd partner (adhd-); who's idea it was, how it was brought up, and the results.

Book: The ADHD Effect on Marriage

I recently purchased the book - The ADHD Effect on Marriage. I have been married for 24 years and I believe my wife has ADHD. She does admit she probably has ADHD, but refuses to seek any help. Our 16 year old son has been recently diagnosed with ADHD and is currently taking medication for this. I have seen a big improvement in him, when he is on his ADHD medication. My wife shows many of the same symptoms as my son, but like I said before, refuses to seek help. I have spent countless hours researching ADHD and I am about at the end of my rope.

Is it really nagging?

Clearly it's frustrating that ADDers don't notice messes and undone chores. But I'm also reading that a lot of the non-ADDers are worried about nagging.

I would LIKE my boyfriend to nag me more. Not nag, but remind.

A lot of times I don't do chores because if I even notice they need to happen, I get sidetracked. BUT if my boyfriend tells me they are bothering him, or he just needs help because he doesn't have time to do it all, I am almost certain to get it done (not awesomely, but done). They stand out in my head as the important things to do.

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