Recent forum posts (all topics)

One constant source of stress for me, that I am at a loss as to how to resolve is my husband's constant complaints about his job. I'm torn between feeling like he's surely to quit any given day and just thinking he's just 'venting' and it's not as big of a deal to him as he makes it seem to me. He constantly says things like "I am at my wits end" "I hate this place!" "I can't do this anymore" "I am about to lose my mind" and has even asked me "If I find another job, do you care if I quit this one?"

First of all, reading through this forum and realizing that my experience has been so similar to many of the members here has been somewhat therapeutic. I've noticed that there are three very common feelings: loneliness, anger and resentment and that I'm not alone or crazy for feeling these three things so strongly.

In many ways, my story is so typical.

My ADD partner noticed me the last couple of days!

Normally he's pretty inattentive but because I've been home sick from work he's been showing his caring side. He made me soup and tea and brought it up to me in bed last night. In the morning he felt my forehead on waking to see if I was feverish... He asked me if I was hungry and then proceeded to make me breakfast in bed.

When he went out to the store he asked me if I wanted anything.. And he told me he'd mail a couple of letters for me that must go out today.

I am also new here, I have been reading for a couple of months now but just never wrote anything yet. From all the stories I have read, I can say that any of the husbands described here by other wives could be mine. The stories are all so similar, the anger, frustration, etc. But there is always a new twist, so maybe I can use some input here.

I am new...  My husband was diagnosed about 9 years ago with adhd.  i keep holding on to hope for a marriage with a partner who is consistently the same each day  but i fear it will never come to pass.  we can have one good day, then 8 bad days, then 2 good days then 2 bad...  IT IS NEVER SMOOTH or consistent.  Our arguments about this invade our lives constantly and take us away from what is important:  working, raising a family and loving one another. 

My wife took a vacation away from me with the kids to see her family.  I secretly stowed the book in her luggage with a nice love'ish letter.  She "skimmed" the book and found "a lot" that she related to and understood.   But it's all for naught.  She's absolutely stuck in anger mode and told me last night that she wants a separation (read: with all that she's planned for, divorce; but she has to wait a year to get that).  I tried talking to her and pleading with her, but literally, every statement I made was instantly morphed into a putdown or threat in her eyes.

When my husband started Concerta about 5-6 weeks ago, I was concerned. Mainly because he took it many years ago (although only officially being diagnosed this past summer...his PCP prescribed it for him because I suppose he always knew something was wrong with his racing mind) and when he took it he became combative and irritable. At only rare times in our marriage was he 'mean' like this. He's much more of a passive/agressive ADDer.

Just recently I was diagnosed with ADD and started medication a long with talk to a counselor.  Within the last 5 weeks my wife and I have been "in-house" separated I live/sleep down stairs when the kids go do bed.  We had a talk last week and we have actually started making progress which is a GOOD thing.  Now my questions are about the holiday's and how do we act?  Since my wife and I barely do anything together, we do not talk, we do not do anything that would be considered husband and wife, do we go to each other's family during the holiday's or I go to mine and she goes to hers? 

I keep seeing a theme...that the ADDers aren't capable of change...and it really makes me sad, regardless of circumstances, that this is something people truly feel. I think people are equally capable and incapable of change, across the board, and ADD plays a small role in it..maybe.

I've had problems in the past with speaking before thinking, but I think it is getting worse or maybe I am being hyper critical about it.  However, lately my comments are getting me "in trouble" with myself and others.  I'm fast to say no, or make a negative crack after someone makes a statement or asks a question.  This happens mostly at home with my sons and husband.