Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello! I have been educating myself as much as possible about the issues of being a non-ADHD spouse married to an ADHD spouse. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD and other co-morbidities 8 years ago. His response to the diagnosis was to ignore it. Needless to say, my life with his is extremely difficult, exhausting and challenging. 

Tonight I am wide awake grieving. Grieving for the man I fell in love with and grieving for the woman I used to be. I wrote two letters tonight, one to the husband I originally fell in love with and one to the man I am married to now. I miss who he was and how he loved, but as far as I know that person never existed to begin with. The man that has replaced him is far from the ideal I had in my head of the man I was marrying. I've come to terms with this for the most part (of course it still hurts). But, the woman I am is also so far from who I used to be. I miss the patience I had.

I just read a critique of a book which has these sentences to describe the main character and it reminded me of many of us on this forum.  She said it better than I could: 

"Her longing to be a part of something larger than herself renders her more emotionally vulnerable than she might care to admit. Finally, buckling under the pressures of work, play and love, she allows herself to be sucked into a vortex where bad behavior is the norm."

I've left my H almost two months ago. I'm not here to say leave but I am here to ask beg you to check out some of these counselors online: Patrick Doyle (you can watch his videos on YouTube) or check out his website Pathway to Hope. Leslie Vernick also vids on YouTube and a website. Natalie Hoffman of Flying free Sisterhood. Natalie and Leslie have some excellent books. They don't "advocate" divorce but don't discount it either. They have many topics in boundaries and how to stay well or how to leave well. How to grieve how to build your core strength.

A few months after getting married I noticed that my husband was talking to other women online on a regular basis. He's interested in foreign cultures so has many foreign friends both males and females of different ages. We ourselves are an intercultural/racial couple.

I need advice please, or just an ear from those of you who love your adhd spouse, but for your own sanity and possibility of a peaceful life, have decided to leave. After 12 years of being together, and about 7 years of me researching and focusing on adhd and the roll it plays (the BIG ROLE) and sharing with my husband (he is diagnosed Add and Odd, as is his son)  I can't take it anymore.  His symptoms are absolutely textbook. Thankfully he does not have the violent rages, he is generally a good and sweet man.

I've been silently reading posts on here for almost a year now. I've been trying to hold out from posting because I know my situation is extreme but I am truly at a loss right now. My husband told me he has ADHD from day 1. He's never been medicated since his mom didn't want him to be a "pill popper" (a sentiment he agrees with strongly). I'm 19, he's 20. He's in the military, I'm a full time student.
 

Hello all. ADHD spouse here. My challenges have destroyed my marriage, and my life. My wife is leaving and taking our 3 kids with her. When we talked she told me about how she couldn't trust me anymore because of all the times before, that I said I'd do this better or do that better and whatever efforts I had put forward weren't enough or didn't last. I just hope all of you understand that when you say you're done, and your spouse says they'll do better, it's BECAUSE they care about you and don't want to lose you. And in that moment, them doing better is all they want in the world.

Am I dealing with a partner with ADHD? I noticed that my husband does the following:

Hi all,