Recent forum posts (all topics)

Okay-brace yourself for a big vent.  DH is 49, unmedicated ADHD.  We have been married for 23 years, god help me.  We have two sons, ages 18 and 16.  We did a big splurge trip with each son with dad (I am a terrible traveler).  A few years ago DH and the older one went to Costa Rica.  The younger one chose Peru.  So-last year's end of the year bonus (before he got fired) paid for the trip.

This man gonna get me loony I am so sick off it's all me. How can we communicate when he verbaly abuses me calles me a whore a no good mom a bitch everyday. I feel like I am walking on eggshells. Then he like I dont love him like are you serious you just made me feel like shit. We been together almost 6 years on nov we will be 1 year married on july 4th. He is a narsaccist asshole and tge worse is that I love him. 2 yr ago we broke up and in the 3rd day he sleeping around. How can you love someone and do that to them. Took his ass back married him oh and wait girl had his kid.

im sittng here crying, i cant do this anymore.

So, I am taking a vacation shortly it just dawned on me last night how different getting ready has been from my experiences around vacations with my ex.  

Hello, 

As many of you have, my husband and I have gone through many ups and downs. We are finally on a positive streak with his medication well adjusted, he has a great team of doctors, he had a positive career change, and he's becoming himself again. There's just one problem. The past 5 years have been so focused on getting him well that one important piece was missed...me. 

Today I just feel wrecked.  Same shit different day, and after 21 years, that's a lot of days and a lot of shit.  All we do is argue anymore and the time it takes to reconnect afterward gets longer and longer.  If I am being honest, I am not sure we really are reconnecting rather than just putting on another layer of battle armor and soldiering on to fight another day.  So, today, here is how ADHD is affecting my life.  My husband knew I had scheduled a get together tonight in our home after a neighbor asked me to host a small product party for her launch as a consultant.

We had agreed that it would be too much for our ADHD daughter to handle sports and acting.  We told her to choose.  She chose sports.

Then my wife decided she should be able to audition for the town play because she wanted to be with her friends--after we bought the sports equipment and practice started.  

My wife had had to wait to start seeing a new psychiatrist, hopefully to get an ADHD diagnosis and treatment.  She ran out of her bupropion from the last psychiatrist while waiting.

Guess what?  She completely forgot about the appointment!  God knows when she will get another one...

My husband is a very smart guy. We’re both intelligent, but I think in many areas he has more potential and ability than I do. And for years, I let that cause me to doubt m own perceptions, thoughts, feelings, etc.  I thought, “Well, he’s such a smart guy, and I could be remembering that incorrectly, so...”  

If I had feelings about something, I let his opinions about my feelings cause me to doubt the validity of my feelings. Of my experience.