Recent forum posts (all topics)

I Googled codependent and Independent today because it occurs to me that H has lived his life like an independent person.  His top priority seems to be to NOT be responsible or relied upon by anyone and by calling his own shots. His bravado comes from a sense of his being his own man.  No burdens. Not accountable to anyone. I have been  one to always put the marriage and family first and now I am resentful.

Hello! I just recently discovered this forum and maybe it is a way for me to get the help I am looking for and that so far I don't get.

It's amazing how difficult it is to accept the choices made by our spouses, that we don't like...I've known what to do (or, not do) to help myself, and her, and the marriage for quiet some time....But, knowing doesn't translate into the power to do, much of the time....When we determine by observation and experience (being subjected to it) that our spouses choices in life is detrimental to us, and the relationship, we (I at least) can't help but confront them and point it out....

We have been together for over two years, living together for one. He has undiagnosed ADHD and has been self medicating most of his life. Fortunately, his addictions aren’t as bad as they could be and are smoking, alcohols, sugar and speed (motorcycle). By sheer will, he had all but quit smoking and drinking but when he slows doing one, another increases. 

I just learned that he recently started smoking again and has been keeping it from me. I feel so betrayed and hurt and am having a heard time getting past it.  Now, when he’s not with me, I’m always thinking the worst. 

Both my wife and I have adhd and have been struggling in our marriage with the difficulties that we each create for years. These problems keep escalating each time we have had a new child, especially when she got post partum depression with our last one. We have been going to counseling but we won't be able to go back for 3 weeks due to scheduling conflicts. Found the book that lead me to this forum a few days ago and figured I would seek some help here too.

Okay, so many weird things I really don't know what to make of these.  Even more bizarre than usual.  If you read my stuff here you know that my DH will be 50 in November and is unmedicated for his ADHD.  He is without a doubt the most inefficient person I have ever met and takes great pride in doing things in the most complicated, convoluted way possible.  These are examples from the past three weeks: all his junk mail is stuffed in one of his dresser drawers.  JUNK mail-like fliers and stuff addressed to OCCUPANT.  Stuffed in a dresser drawer.

Does anyone else recognise these conversations? (or similar)

HUBBY:- Lets take the grandkids out tomorrow for the day, To my favourite seaside beach,

Hello,

I am seeking guidance on a situation that I feel many of you are familiar with. I am a 41 year old woman diagnosed with ADHD married to a non-ADHD husband. I have had ADHD all my life but just (re)started meds (Elvanse) a about a month ago. I am still adjusting.

So, I've already extracted myself from this and am starting to date someone else, but I'm pretty sure I was briefly involved with another ADHD man recently.     I am writing about the experience here not to complain or to do any harm but rather, just to share, in case anyone out there reading has just started dating someone new and things seem... interesting.  At one point he disclosed to me that other family members have been diagnosed with ADHD and when I asked if he had ever been diagnosed he said no.  In my opinion, he might want to reconsider that.  Heh.
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So I actually watched DH form a lie today while I stood there.  Now understand that this man lies like he breathes, so it's nothing new, just that I usually don't witness it actually happening.  It was kind of like an eclipse or a shooting star or something.