Recent forum posts (all topics)

Well... I am planning for separation because I gave up on myself 

i can’t please my husband and I am full of flaws and I feel like I’m nothing but a heavy disgusting burden which fills me with guilt , self doubt and self hate 

but as a mom I tend to be depressed when he is around and I under perform , his criticism made me hate motherhood 

when I realized  that my kids are having challenging times I decided not to let our fights influence how I love my children 

I suspected this was coming but I didn't know for sure.  Now it has happened. I thought I would feel a sense of satisfaction -- "He's been caught!" "Now I'm not the only one who knows he's a cheat!" and so on -- but I don't.  I feel sad.  I feel a little mad.  I feel somewhat embarrassed. I'm not concerned about my reputation for honesty; if anything, people who know me probably think I"m annoyingly truthful.  Oh, and tomorrow would have been our anniversary (if we were still married).

I have posted here several times recently. My wife has told me she wants a divorce for the third and I’m pretty sure the last time. Although I do not want a divorce it’s not my decision to make alone so I don’t see any way of stopping it. It hurts to admit it but what has ruined our marriage has come from me. When I put myself in her position I can understand why she wants out and I can’t blame her. She is fighting for her own life and just wants to save herself. The way she describes it is that she is shell shocked and needs space and time to herself. 

I have come to accept lots of things about my H that, in the past, I was not willing or able to see and accept.   My eyes are opening slowly as to how little my H is able (willing?) to handle.  I really have to stop expecting him to be able (willing?) to process more than one thought a day.  So, I have to be mindful to not bring up more than one subject a day. Then I must speak in shorts sentences and not too many at a time....or he will go into offense/defense mode.

I’ve been on this site a lot lately because my ADHD and the lack of understanding and control of the symptoms has driven my wife to wanting a divorce yet again. I don’t blame her for how she feels and to be honest if I were in her shoes I would want out as well. She has endured a lot and is simply worn out by me. My hope and prayer is that if I can get a sold grip on my ADHD and a miracle from God that my marriage will be spared. 

Perpetually Frustrated lol ;)

How much is rigid, inflexible thinking a part of your ADHD partner’s life?  

Rigidity in ideas plus the quick-to-judgment reflex and an impatience/intolerance for thinking things through thoroughly... those are what I see here, and wow.  This is one area that threatens to kill our relationship in more and more ways.  

I’ve observed that rigidity causes the most trouble for him in the relating to others, rather than habits or perfectionism. 

Hi,

I am new to online communities and new to living with a partner with ADHD; obviously I am in a crisis moment. 

my wife told me last night that she want a divorce, she’s done. 

My heart is broken and I’m bleeding out, the devastation and sense of loss I’m feeling is so painful I want to crawl into a hole and die.

Was sayingto H last night that when I say "You hurt me deeply. I am hurting." It is not ok for him to argue with me about whether or not I have the right to feel hurt. It is also not ok to blame me for something he chose to do. It is also not ok to say it's not that big of a deal. I told him that as my husband if I feel hurt he needs to own his behavior. Found this info about the 4 denials of responsibility and it is on point. Posting in case it's helpful to someone else.