Recent forum posts (all topics)

I don’t do a lot of posting here.  But, I’m pretty sure my marriage is coming to an end.  H is a really good guy.  Very attentive, loving partner and hands-on Dad.  But, his unpredictable angry outbursts have just about killed our relationship.  I’ve done all the research.  I know it’s flooding.  I know he never intends to lash out verbally at me or the kids.  I know it’s a neurological process that keeps him from filtering his emotions when he’s triggered.      

Hi.  This is presented in terms of divorce but I think it is helpful for many kinds of unhappy or uncomfortable situations and life circumstances.  I've been thinking a lot about resilience lately, too, both because of things that affect only me (e.g., expensive car repairs) and because of things affecting our country (e.g., political leaders).  I wish my ex could rewrite his story.  He spends so much time in his head but has little to show for it in terms of improving his mood or his life.

If I ask my husband a question. Any question large or small I will be met with a screaming fit. Why?!? I can see if I peppered him with questions all the time that would be frustrating but I don't. To me questions are a part of good communication. And he asks questions no problem. If I ask them there is hell to pay....

37 years of living with this and the harshness of his reaction to me still hurts. 

Hey all... first time poster, long time wife of ADHDer.

I am already at the end of my rope as non-adhd spouse. My husband is in denial. We have not been intimate in 8 years. He can't/won't hold traditional employment. My house is in chaos. I am responsible for 90% of the load. Etc., etc. You all know the story too well. 

My concern has turned from myself to my husband's relationship with our daughter. She is a tween and very emotional/sensitive. I see her walking the same path I have over the past 20 years and my heart is breaking:

Lack of boundaries, avoiding communication, seeking novelty and taboo stimulation -- I don't know if my husband's behavior stems from his ADHD or if it's some other issue, but I'm in a private little hell right now.

Just thinking and wondering what makes us stay in less than ideal situations. I have no love left for my husband. No empathy no good feelings at all. So Why stick around. 

-my depression from these things and my lack of energy and clear thinking

- my fear of losing my children and grandchildren

- my huge need to be believed by others. He looks pretty amazing to the outside world.

-access to money. We have a thriving business. There is also money saved but we both have to sign to access it.

So Why do you stay?

I truly do not understand what goes on in a person's mind, who refuses to be responsible, and do the work of a Wife or Husband....How can a person be raised by two working parents, finish high school and college, get a job and support themselves...Then take marriage vows, enter a marriage, and start living like life is just one big party...And they are the guest of honor, with no responsibilities??....It's not that these people weren't taught to work, and how to share....I guess it's possible to just justify using another person up for your own selfish agenda, without a thought??

My ADHD husband is totally at the mercy of his symptoms right now. I got him to read enough that he agrees he has it.  He is in the “process” of getting himself in somewhere so that he can be diagnosed officially.  Reading between the lines, you know know what that means. 

Of course, he doesn’t understand the scope of their effect yet. And I do understand that and am reminding myself so I don’t hold it against him. 

And in the meantime, I know that it would be so helpful for both of us if I praised him for something.   The trouble?  His symptoms are so rampant.  

Hi, I am new here. I have been reading the blogs and feeling a strange comfort in knowing that other people are facing some of the same problems that my wife and I are facing.

First a little background.  I met my wife four years ago and fell deeply, madly and very quickly in love. (like most add people do) We got married, bought a house and now have two children.  It all happened very fast.