Recent forum posts (all topics)

I haven't been on here in such a long time because I've been immersed in both individual and couples therapy, but I really could use some help from others in the trenches please. After 17 years of a difficult marriage my husband had an "awakening" because he realized that he had lost me. This after his emotional abuse, affairs, and his telling me he wanted a divorce countless times. Now he's a "different person" and he says he could understand my leaving the old version, but if I leave this new guy I am quitting on him and our marriage and he doesn't think he could forgive me for that.

I am grateful for this forum and this site.  It is helping me to learn about ADD, which I was totally ignorant about until I started dating a man with ADD (he told me on the first date).  We have been dating (exclusive to one another) for a few months now.  We come to this relationship late in life with our own respective baggage.  In sum, I have abandonment and attachment issues stemming from abuse in my childhood, and he was exposed to severe childhood trauma as well.  We recognize the most wonderful attributes in the other, and became quite close very early on in the relationship.  We re

I have been manipulated and dumped on for so long, by so many people, I don't know anymore what is sincere and what is manipulation. Is this a sincere apology. 

"I apologize for all the pain that I've caused you "

To me, it feels like someone that doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions and they just want the problem to go away. I could be absolutely wrong, though. 

P.S. I hope this didn't post twice. It seemed to disappear the first time I posted it. 

My SO of 18 years has just been diagnosed as ADHD. He was diagnosed because I asked for a divorce after many years of thinking about it after having discovered his online porn addiction. He says he wants to fix us but I think I'm too far gone. I'm reading the adhd effect in marriage and almost all of it is familiar but I just don't care. I would like to be supportive while he repairs his relationships with the kids but I really don't feel like there is an us to fix. 

I posted a thread on this forum a couple of weeks ago: The longest breakup...ever.

Hi Friends,

It's been a while since my last post. I have been around, but had no opportunity to post due to lots of things that have been going on recently in my life. First of all, I want to thank, again, all of you who have read and responded, you've been a great support and please know you've helped me through a very difficult period in my life. Which, unfortunately, is still going on. (would put a smiley face here, but I'm not really sure it's appropriate, and yet somehow the sad face seems inadequate too)

My husband who has ADD, and I were speaking this last weekend and I felt like we peeled a layer back worth sharing.  I was telling him that the only way I have found not to have an argument with him is when: 1) I don't speak or 2) when I don't ask him or REMIND him (because he already agreed to do it) to do anything.  Here is what he said, please note I SO VERY MUCH appreciate the honesty from him (because it is rare):

Responsibility makes me feel like you are "Putting Something On Me" and that makes me feel "Attacked".

My partner (ADD) and I (not ADD) are currently working our way through the couple's seminar.  We actually did it live, but life got in the way about week 3 and we weren't able to keep up - so now 6 months later, we are trying it again on our own.  We're getting pretty close to doing the Chore Score section, but I am really struggling with what to include here. My partner works full time - often until 8 or 9pm a night.

have come to my wits end with my passive husband. I have been catering to his need to feel loved and understood so much that I feel like I am the man/leader in this marriage. Am I stuck? Why should I reach out and take the lead again but this time in trying to fix this marriage. I would like to separate just so that I can have some peace and sanity.