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I have named this forum as the first step because I have finally admitted to myself that I have a serious problem and I will be seeking advice to see if ADHD is the cause.

I was watching the movie 'Jerry McGuire' this evening.  A romance scene comes on the screen, my spouse slams down the footrest of the recliner, jumps out of the chair, and grumbles, "I'm going to bed."  

A few minutes later I hear the upstairs shower.

Uh Oh.  It dawned on me that I had taken down the shower curtain this afternoon and washed it, then forgot to put it in back up.

I ran upstairs and said through the closed bathroom door, "Hey, sorry, I forgot to get the shower curtain out of the wash machine."

I am not quite sure, but I am wondering if my non ADHD husband has become slowly but surely more and more emotionally & psychologically abusive with me over the years.

I'm really struggling with something here folks, and I hope there is someone out there who can provide a little clarification. My wife was diagnosed 3 years ago with ADD, after struggling with depression for 10 years before that. I was excited, and, believe it or not, happy to finally have a diagnosis, and a course of treatment that I thought, by all indications and suggestions by her doctor and many other ADD experts, would improve her condition and the quality of our life.

After one of these grueling arguments/discussion, I really wish I had it recorded, so I could have someone else look at with non-bias towards my ADHD spouse nor I, and tell me if I am missing something.

I have been dating my now fiance for almost 3 years now. It has been some road, let me tell you! During that time we have argued, more about him being impulsive, and unable to save money. His diagnosis came 3 months ago, when I pretty much said,"if you dont go and talk to a professional, I am out the f***ing door." He went. The diagnosis hit me like a ton of bricks. I was upset that I didnt force him to seek help sooner. I was upset that his parents never questioned it for him to have been diagnosed sooner.

Well, maybe this should be in progress and hope, but he has given me permission to go home. We are transferring bills to his name next week, and I am separating my insurance and phone from his.

I'm so relieved:) I can't wait to get home and lay on the white sand beaches for hours:) I can't wait to see my friends!!

I plan to leave next weekend:)

Thanks for everyone's help-a year later realizing this is searchable via google and able to be read without logging in, I have deleted the orginal text.

 

Even through this turmoil, I have continued to cook nightly meals. That stops starting tomorrow. I spent an hour making Irish potato cakes with garlic mushroom and onions. He commented on how good it smells. Right after I'm done cooking, he announces that his friend is taking him out to eat. When I mentioned the dinner I cooked, he says he'll eat it later. No he won't. I'm throwing it in the trash. I'll only cook for me and my son from now on. 

I am a non-ADHD spouse trying to understand and support my ADHD husband. I understand that ADHDers find it hard to do a task unless it is interesting, challenging, or urgent. I have also heard it described as “they can’t” get started until the task becomes one of these three things. Question: How literal is the word “can’t”? How is a spouse to know when an ADHD spouse is unable to accomplish a task and what is to be done about it?