Recent forum posts (all topics)

Earlier this week hubby sent me an e-mail with a link to adhd, so I did some research and realised all my unhappiness for many years with him was down to this, I said nothing but ordered the book ADHD is it me and researched in the meantime.  Eureka he found out what was wrong with him.  At last me and the kids have a chance at happiness.  Well I gave him the book this morning and was astounded when he told me he had sent the link because I had adhd.  I am sitting here crying now I think I might really go mad I just don`t want to go on. 

My husband has been seeing a therapist for approximately 8 months.  I encouraged this and still think it's a good idea.  But my husband doesn't seem to be making progress.  I asked him today if he exposes himself to the therapist.  He asked what I meant.  I said I meant showing his vulnerabilities, saying things such as, "I've been seeing you for eight months and I'm still depressed" or "I'm tired all the time, the kind of tired that makes me unable to get things done."  My husband said that no, he doesn't talk to the therapist about these things.

So I've been reading Delivered From Distraction and oh my, it is enlightening. I've been reading tons of books about ADD. As I've mentioned on this board, my DH was diagnosed in college almost 20 years ago, but I never took it seriously (we've been married for 13 years) and he hasn't had any real treatment since he quit taking meds after he became a bit of a "dealer" in college. He had a breakdown of sorts just over a year ago.

I have a relationship with a man with ADHD that recently ended.  I love him so much.  I am heartbroken that it ended, but without counseling, we were at an impasse.  It had become less than functional.  We were not married, but I believed it was serious.  He was the only man I've ever considered marrying, but maybe I was just confusing my hopes with what was real.  I am so confused.  His actions never really matched up to his words.  ADHD, or was he just not that into me?  I am very generous and supportive and can often give "too much" without realizing and perhaps be taken for granted.  I

I have been married for 10 years and I am 33.  I have 2 daughters, and I am also 3 months pregnant.  He is in nursing school, and also we manage apts together for free rent.  My husband says he does not have ADHD, even though he was medicated since in grade school until moving out. (it is insulting to him if I bring it up) My husband and I got into a huge fight a couple of days ago, so he is not in the home because I am considering ending the marriage.  This is not the first time we have considered this.  He has cheated and lied a lot in the past so I have that baggage as well.

DH and I have been having conflict about getting out of the house in the morning--2 small kids, lots of stuff, etc. DH is also very, very contentious in general. We had a fight about mornings yesterday but this morning I thought things were okay, but he seemed to be really anxious and jumpy even though we were both running on time. He was showered and dressed, I was not, but was getting toddler's breakfast ready. Usually I also get the baby at the same time, but hadn't yet. so he says he'll get the baby.

I seem to be constantly trying to craft a sentence in my mind of how I feel and what I've done and what I want.  I found this online and paraphrased it and seem to be able to attach it to my self.  

"I have borne the consequences of my spouse's irresponsibility. I have exhausted every means of restoration. I have loved without reservation. I have returned good for childish, uncaring attitude and lack of commitment. I have sacrificed my dignity and self-respect for the sake of my household.  I have done more than most would do."

Are there different levels to ADHD?  My husband (although undiagnosed) has ADHD -- I'm positive about that based on the symptoms but he doesn't exhibit as much severity with it in some areas as other people do.  Yet, he is a poster child for it in other ways.   He does household chores -- many, in fact.   But he is so distracted when driving, it scares me.  AND -- he rides a Harley Davidson sometimes too.  He kept the same job for 20 years, then moved to another area and has had 7 jobs in the last 2 years.  He's spontaneous and fun but can become angry over the most trivial things.  Yet, ot

I have been married for 3 months to the most wonderful man I have ever met.  However, he has changed drastically since the wedding.  In just 3 months, I have gone from being the best thing ever to feeling like he doesn't love me like he use to before the marriage.  My husband is 53 and extremely ADHD.  I am a teacher and I know what ADHD is in middle school children but I'm not sure how to handle it in a marriage.   I tell him he acts bored with me -- because it feels that way.  How can I avoid this abandonment feeling?  He says I get on his nerves asking him for reassurance repeatedly.  Bu

My spouse lost/misplaced his wallet . . . again.

He asked me for some cash and my debit card to use for the day.  I gave him some cash, but told him I needed my debit card.  He left.  He is 'pretty sure' the wallet is here - out in the yard, out in the barn, lost among all the junk back there.

My stomach is in knots.    Who takes care of the money/finances in our home - yep, it is me.

Grrr.....