My partner was diagnosed with ADD and began medication a little over a year ago. Since then he has gone through some remarkable changes and shown a real dedication to growing with this deeper awareness of who he is and how it has impacted his life up to this point. Needless to say, our marriage has also improved with this new direction.
Husband, as usual, is out of town for the weekend for his job. Yesterday, there was a call to our house, which the answering machine picked up, from a person at a company saying that she needs to speak to my husband about his investment in the company. I was not aware that he has this investment. I recently filled out college financial aid applications and thought I had complete information about our finances and apparently I didn't.
Does anyone have any good advice on what to do once you realize you've reached the end of the line in your marriage?
It has been a long time coming but finally, I think it's time to just cut my losses and accept that our marriage has failed and there's nothing more I can do about it. And now I have no idea what to do with this new situation.
We've tried. Both in our own ways, I suppose. For years. And years. And years. In the end, never really getting anywhere. No progress or any real change for the better. Just worse and worse in slight increments over a looooong time.
When do I get to hurt? When is it my turn to be the one who needs help? If it's not the ADHD, then it's the depression that disrupts our marriage. Although my husband does contribute in some ways to the running of the household and family, I feel like the lion's share is on my shoulders. I don't feel like I can fully trust him since he's proven he lacks the ability to follow through on things that are important. It hurts to see him hurting, but I am too. He used to give me so much emotional support and now I feel like I get none.
There are many issues with my marriage, and most of the severe ones are due to my ADHD. Given this reality the focus is on mitigating my symptoms, and any mental foray into MY complaints seems to be dangerous. It can so easily in discussion go the way of deflecting her concerns or just sound hypocritical. Nevertheless, in the past I cannot remember having any complaints. I simply hid from reality and had neither positive nor negative things to say about the relationship. I'm sure now that this ambivalence is gone.
I wanted to thank for the support and help I got from this forum when I was dealing with my ADHD husband. Our divorce has been finalized and I am done with my short marriage. He moved out of town and I will never see him again. I might encounter different types of despair and pain in my life, but hopefully it will not be as devastating as it has been during my marriage.
My husband just got diagnosed with ADHD and when the doctor called him to tell him the news, he also recommended marriage counseling for us because he noticed stressed between us, but my husband says ADHD is not the reason why we got marriage counseling recommended... We have been arguing too much even before this news but to me this condition is the reason?
Some of the people on this board say they love their errant spouses.
I have been dating a man for over a year now who was very open with me from the beginning that he had ADHD. At the time, I was not concerned as I had previously been married to a man with ADHD for 14 years and had some understanding of the diagnosis. This man and I were friends 20 years ago and "found" each other again and after admitting to each other that we had unresolved feelings for each other, we started dating. I have been very patient his mood swings and days of depression, but it is the verbal abuse I can't deal with.
Thought I'd share my experience from last month....
My life has gotten more hectic in the last 12 months or so, more work for me, more stuff at school for DD#1 DD#2 is 3 now and a handful and won't start preschool til the Fall because we don't have the money...etc. etc. I've been emotionally very fragile since October when a little boy who was in my music class was murdered. That fragility increases with each new report of violence it seems and I guess it will just never end.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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