It's not just the ADHD
J.D.: "Well, if you don't mind me sayin so, he sounds like a real asshole."
THELMA: "It's okay. He is an asshole. Most of the time I just let it slide."
J.D.: "Well, if you don't mind me sayin so, he sounds like a real asshole."
THELMA: "It's okay. He is an asshole. Most of the time I just let it slide."
Just a quick background, my husband and I have been together for 3 years, married for 5 months. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a teen and he’s aware he has it. I’ve never educated myself on the disorder and since have dismissed it because I figure we all have our issues. We used to get along very well. In the beginning of our relationship it was my commitment issues and me taking things personally that put a strain on us, he was always more nurturing and patient than me, which is part of the reason why I love him.
A short frustrating story about tuna and wine....that did nothing but piss us both off within 5 minutes for the rest of the night....
I replied under another forum topic "Permission to enter his space"
I continue to mourn the fact that I have to ask permission to enter my husbands space. Why can't I just turn to my husband while we're sitting on the couch, and ask a normal, every day question, get an answer, then move on?
What I saw:
Him walking over to the table and throwing a stack of paper onto the table with an angry expression on his face.
Him sitting back in his chair and angrily throwing a pencil and some papers on the table.
Saying disrespectful, unkind things to me, like "You can leave. Go away!" in front of the kids.
Calling a timeout but not circling back to the conversation, nor starting the talk again.
Being sarcastic towards me when we were leaving to get on a plane. "Send me your complaints!" was the last thing he called after me as I walked away.
I know, this is an endless topic... my husband who has mild ADHD really believes everything he says, even when it's completely false.
My husband started taking Ritalin about 1 year ago. In the beginning I noticed some changes in attention and he said it was really helping focus at work. Only problem our marriage seemed to deteriorate. He is not the same person. I can't explain when it began. He started traveling more, becoming more distant. He was offered a job in FL we live in CA and was in the process of offer and acceptance. It was a HUGE decision we have 2 boys 3 and 5 the 5 year old was diagnosed with Autism when he was 2.
While reviewing the list of our debt, my ADHD spouse decided to hone in on his opinion of the reason we are in debt is the balance we still owe for my new dental partial. He then proceeded digging into the past to REMIND me that my bad teeth were caused by my eating disorder - which I have been free from for OVER 20 years.
I have been irritated for years over the fact that DH does no housework at all. Absolutely NONE. I had chalked it up to the fact that he is in Academia and has lots of work to do outside of just teaching. Also, since the kids, I haven't had a 'real' job and have made a paltry amount of money each of the last 6 years. But I'm getting angrier and angrier as my schedule fills up with jobs and I am STILL doing everything.