Recent forum posts (all topics)

This morning my wife unofficially found out that she's getting a rather big promotion, with a commensurate pay raise!

I am super-happy for her, and ultra-proud of her!  This is something she's been working really hard for and it's finally paid off!  The extra money would take the strain off our finances, and would relieve a lot of stress that's been building up in the family over it.  However...

We can all use a kick in the pants.  i will start by giving myself one and share my frustration.  It is clear to me that I must not keep doing what I am doing.  Surviving by using all the coping tools I can but being very unhappy.  My being unhappy is not doing anyone any good. Not for my health, my DH, my children, my friends. I spend too much time trying to manage DH.  I should leave DH and give everyone the chance for love, faith and joy.  I have had the conversations with DH saying we can't go on like this.  I have looked at my options.

This isn't really a conflict around household tasks, but I had no idea where to put it.  Now keep in mind both the events I am talking about were pre-diagnosis so neither of us really had any idea that he wasn't just being messy and disorganized and he just needed to 'try harder'.

We hear so many on here say their spouse is in denial about having ADD and that they blame everything on their significant other, but do those of you with ADD believe that the ones who are in denial must feel that deep down something is wrong even if they don't want to admit it or know what is wrong?   Also, how about once a spouse suggests ADD as the problem, do you then think those with ADD start to put the pieces together even if they won't admit it?  I appreciate your responses very much!  Thank you.   

I'm the ADD spouse. Recently I confessed to my wife that I needed to "work" to focus on her when we were out in public. She was/is very upset & angry. What I meant was that I know that my being aware of other attractive women in the room makes her feel demeaned, hurt, unloved, so I consciously focus on her - to protect her.

I guess I was deluding myself...  It's too late.  She's made it clear that it's well and truly over.  There's no longer any point in me nursing a false hope.

She doesn't trust me...  She can't rely on me...  She doesn't respect me...  She knows it's not my fault, but she doesn't want to hate me for something I can't control.  She doesn't have the strength to try a second time, and risk being disappointed again.

She thinks we were great as friends.  I'm not certain if I can go back to just being friends with her.

Hello everyone - Linsy here. I need advice about accompanying my husband at last to see the specialist ADHD psychiatrist, and how to manage this event. 

What do you think I should do that would be most helpful? I think I should sit quietly and continue to be supportive. I married the guy in sickness and in health - it has been very very difficult, but he is still my husband and the father of my children. And I will go through this in order to help him find peace and restore at least some of his damaged relationships. Thanks for anything any of you can advise.

Anyone up for reading a very long stream of thoughts from a very tired mother who doesn't know how to change?

Hello Everyone, I'm a new member.  My husband and I have been married almost 27 yrs.  We have 10 children.  I'm a homemaker, he a small business owner.  We think he has adhd and are trying to find someone who specializes in adult add for diagnosis and treatment.  Our marriage has become disconnected, we're frustrated, (more me than him), and we've had a few fights that spiral into intense anger, then deep sadness for me.  I've had my own depression issues, worthlessness, unlovable, ever since I can remember.

I'm curious...

My wife is being treated for codependency.  I'm not sure how much of it is related to my ADHD and the drinking I was doing (now sober) vs. a childhood that I know had some serious issues that I won't go into detail about here.  However, I'm curious how the parent-child pattern of an ADHD relationship compares and contrasts from codependency.

Anyone with any knowledge they might share?