Recent forum posts (all topics)

Finding this site and getting acquainted with ADD these last few months, has been cathartic for me.  I have been married for 35 years and have been working hard to "fix" something in myself not knowing what it was.  Blaming myself for being unlovable, stupid, too weak, too strong, nuts.  I want to scream in frustration. But with this site I learn that I am not alone.  I am not unlovable, stupid, too weak, too strong or nuts.  And this site gives me a place to go with my fears, anger and frustration.  It gives us a mirror to see ourselves in other people's stories.

My husband was just diagnosed with ADHD but has not yet started meds. We've been together four years, married not quite a year. In the beginning of our relationship he was helpful (to a degree). For his birthday I bought him a motorcycle. Now all he does is work on that. He completely blows me off and every time I mention his lack of attention (which was a problem before) he says I'm jealous of the bike. We are currently doing a lil mini home project-stripping and restaining all the baseboards and doors of our house-and by we I mean me.

He is making some sort of progress,all the while I was thinking divorce,now I am thinking support on his behalf ,and I have been considering his disorder to heart, that I feel the need to stay and work this through with him,but,it get's so tough sometimes that I don't even know if it would work.I am trying with him and he has been trying with himself,I could see where he is building a little empathy for me and a bit more "sensitive" to my feelings.He still have sooo much work on his behalf,taking into consideration he is also very "depressed" and full of hatred from his overdue past resentm

My husband who was diagnosed but is in denial is threatening me that he will sue me if I tell people in his job field that he has ADHD, for harming his reputation after we get divorced. Basically i cannot even vent to anyone that i know about why we ended up with divorce, when i am suffering to death with the harm from his illness? I really feel like dying. 

 

 

What the hell is up with mornings? Am I just a crazy person or is this an ADHD thing? My husband is useless in the morning. Absolutely useless. We are good most of the rest of the day... but mornings are awful. We have a two year old that needs to get ready in the morning and needs to be dressed, fed, and attended to. We have a cat that is annoying as hell until she gets fed. And I swear to God, I am the only one who ever gets up. He just lays there. And if I am sick and can't get up (like this weekend) God forbid our daughter wakes up before he is ready.

The bizarre thing is, I'd say, there is a certain feeling of stupidity from not seeing this one coming.

The basic backstory is I'm supposed to be meeting my college age daughter out of town next week to discuss the financial situation of her upcoming semester. The trip was discussed weeks in advance. Unfortunately, we are in a precarious financial situation due due to my husband's spending issues. The most recent issue has been gambling, previously was shopping, credit cards, you name it, it's happened.

He does this often.  He is in the garage along the driveway.  I drive in. He stands with his back to me - not acknowledging that I have come home.   Not saying hello and I KNOW he knows I am there.  Like at night when the lights are shining on his back or when I am right next to him with the car running.  What is that about? Is this ADHD related or is he just acting like a jerk?

Moved this post to the thread I've had since I started. Check here. http://www.adhdmarriage.com/content/thinking-separating-my-husbandim-don...

So... I'm 40 and I've been married to my ADD husband for 15 years and I have lost count of all the jobs he has had, usually for somewhere between 6 months and 3 years.  I'm finally coming to the realization that I'm looking at a lifetime of him changing jobs (with seasons of unemployment which are super tough), no retirement, no college savings for our kids, no financial management (unless I do it alone and I'm not great at it and I do dislike it) and never seeing him happy vocationally.  Anyone out there have some good coping skills for this life I'm facing?