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Hi there!

So I'm very new to this forum after spending the week Googling myself into oblivion, which is what I do when I'm trying to figure something out.

I'm hoping that someone else with my same issue can at least offer some support. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. I did not know that he had been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but I did know that he had many behavior problems as a kid. His parents medicated him for a short time, but stopped when he said that he did not like it (around age 8 or so), and he never received other treatment for ADHD that I know of. They just decided to "trust God" that he would grow out of it.

We all know about the hyperfocus, the "swept off our feet" feeling. My marriage imploded shortly after our wedding.

Now I kind of dread when he comes home. I realized the other day that the ONLY thing I loved about him is the hyperfocus, and of course, that's gone. I'm not even sure I love him any more. He says he's just the same but of course he's not.

I'm married to a stranger and he treats me like a stranger. The person I fell in love with no longer exists. He no longer cares about me or meeting my needs. So what do I do now?

So what was an attempt to have a nice family outing at the club turned into pretty awful.  For whatever reason DH had an outburst with Son at the club. Son had no idea why or even really what DH said other than a nasty glare and the a few words that made no sense at all (like walking in on the end of a conversation (I was in Womens Locker Room changing). The car ride home was super quiet; I knew something was up but didn't know what. So we get home I head upstairs to empty out the  gym bags. Then I hear my DD begin to cry.

My ADHD husband of 25 years doesn't work. He was approved for disability almost 3 years ago, for the 2 years prior to that he held a job for a total of 2 months. So basically he has not worked for 5 years. The other 20 years consisted of numerous jobs the longest being 7 years. I can accept that since he is receiving disability payments. We still have a hard time making it financially. I've worked FT for the past 20 years and during most of those years either worked overtime or a 2nd job and raised our 2 children.

I have been reading the posts on this site for several days with great interest. I think that my husband of almost 23 years may have undiagnosed ADD/ADHD . I can relate very closely to many of the comments posted by non-ADHD spouses.

My husband is the ADHD one in our marriage.  I've been close to "done" many times, but I also took vows and we continue with our mantra that "divorce is not an option."  Married for almost 21 years, together for 26+.  Two teenagers, a dog, and two cats.  He was diagnosed in 2004.

Sigh..