Recent forum posts (all topics)

Why is so difficult to convince people with ADHD that they have a problem and get them to seek help?  It's astounding to me that after everything we've been through together, my husband still goes on the attack when I try to discuss help for him.  He's called me names, said hurtful things about my family and me, blamed his misbehavior on me...  Over the years, his ADHD has gotten worse, and yet I've stayed with him 20 years.  I understand defensiveness, but my husband is not a stupid man.  Why can't he see all the evidence and realize how much fuller his life would be and how much better he

My marriage has been a minefield--full of surpising, crushing disappointments that have seemed to come out of the blue-- since day one, and it is only 12 years into it that I finally understand that my husband has ADHD. It's a giant AHA!-- like someone rang a giant gong that made some sense of my world! Raised in a family in which I was isolated as a child, I must have normalized all the feelings of abandonment and worthlessness and rage that have come tumbling down on me in this marriage...

Sorry I'm posting this in this area but no one seems to read the stuff under therapy/help and all that :)

Good day, everyone,

Thanks for providing a place to read and talk about these issues. My husband and I will have been married 5 years next Friday. The problems with his ADHD are just becoming more acute, however. I am trying to turn things around so we can make some progress.

I found this site a while back and it prolonged my marriage to my ADHD/OCD/Bipolar husband.  Unfortunately I stopped coming here because it seemed better when I was taking all responsibility and giving him room to be a man with emotional/mental illness.

I'm a little angry.

OK so a few weeks ago we discovered my husband of 5 years has ADD (maybe ADHD, I dunno).  It came as such a shock but it all made complete sense, every single one of our furstrations we saw was stemming from this.  Anyway, we finally made an appointment with a therapist who specializes in ADD.  I'm excited, but nervous.  My husband has been to therapy before for another issue years ago, but I've never done it before.  What can we expect the first time?  We are going together, but will they probably want to see him by himself as well?  I hear the first session can be really long, like 2 hour

Well I had an entire post ready for the resources thread and the net ate it!  I figured maybe there'd be more views here and it does deal with my greatest source of anger surrounding my husband's ADD--His apparant refusal to do the work to move past frustrating ADD behaviors.

I may be married longer than anyone on this forum - 45 yrs. I stuck it out the first half because my husband, Mike, convinced me I was "damaged" and just couldn't handle life. So, for yrs. I sought help. It didn't occur to me that my condition was due to abuse. I'm sure that was because my dad was abusive, as well.

Early on, we had a son. He's 44 now and we haven't heard from him in yrs. Our grandchildren don't know us. My son had a crying and depressed mother and a rejecting and abusive father.

Dr. Ratey diagnosed my husband 17 years ago, back before many people even knew what ADHD was.  17 years later, we have bought, renovated and sold, four homes, and therefore have moved that many times. My husband left 2 lucrative jobs, opened and closed 2 of his own businesses, and has worked at a commission based job for about 2 years now (translation: no salary). Financially we are a mess.  Currently I work about 50 hours a week to keep up with bills and keep food on the table. I'm tired all the time and my relationship with my children feels not as close as it once was.

Once they're diagnosed, how often do ADDers "figure it out" or "man up" ("woman up"?) and take responsibility for themselves and the damage their condition has done? How often are they really aware of what they've done, apologize, and make amends? Or is it usually hopeless--do you really just have to give up and walk away?