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Hello 

My husband and I have a 40+ year relationship, but it has come to a head with his inability to handle money in a responsible fashion. His business has had issues such that our personal funds are being utilized to cover the debt, and this has put us in a very precarious financial situation. According to him, vast amounts of money will be flowing into his business account any day now, so I am just overly emotional and not giving him a chance. He also insists that it is not as if he was spending the money on a fancy car or a mistress -- it is for his business that must survive!

Authors note:

I've  with my bf over 2 years and he has A.D.D, not ADHD because they are different he tells me. I am the sole cause of all of his problems. I walk around on egg shells all the time because if i say anything with attitude or pulling my face, thats it im broken and defective because i dont understand his issues, my brother has ADHD so I've experienced it before. I have a bad attutude, i dont listen, i belittle him, i ignore him, I've forced him to think of suicide.

I am 30 with a one year old, my husband has adhd recently on meds and diagnosed. I am struggling, I am now back to work, I have a young baby and I don't see any progress. My husband thinks the pills are his way of changing and making an effort when there are so many other things that need to be addressed for our marriage to succeed. He makes impulsive decisions, I am always the responsible one picking up the pieces and I'm burning out especially when I want to focus on caring for my baby not my husband. He thinks I'm a raging bitch and always pointing how his flaws.

Hi,

It appears that most blogs etc including many books around ADHD rarely include the more complex situations where both partners suffer from ADHD or the non ADHD party another condition such as PTSD or Complex PTSD.

I've been trying to wrestle this beast that is my marriage, my relationship.  When I found out about adhd, I felt relief.  I had read all kinds of marriage books but none of them hit home.  And then I found books about adhd by multiple authors who all somehow knew the weird land I lived in, who could describe the things that left me holding all the responsibilities.

But there was still more, and I could feel it.  His way of being wasn't entirely adhd.

A couple of days ago my internet was shut off.  It is at least the 3rd time this year and the second time since July when I dipped into my retirement to pay off the $12,000 in credit card bills that my husband had run up in 6 months.   Now, the reason the credit card bills were so high is because when he would get paid, he wouldn't pay the bills because he was "worried he'd need the cash for an emergency."   Then when the bills were due, he would have to put them on the credit card.

My name is Dave and I have high level ADHD. I am  married to the most wonderful, beautiful, caring, sweet, empathetic woman in the world. After being married to me for over 13 years and she is STILL with me proves it. About six months ago, she was done. Done with me being defensive about everything, mean to  her, not helping in raising our two girls while she NEVER slept AND worked to pay our bills. I went and did what I thought was important, I had my ENTIRE priority list upside down, and I really had no clue what I was doing.

My name is Dave and I have high level ADHD. I am  married to the most wonderful, beautiful, caring, sweet, empathetic woman in the world. After being married to me for over 13 years and she is STILL with me proves it. About six months ago, she was done. Done with me being defensive about everything, mean to  her, not helping in raising our two girls while she NEVER slept AND worked to pay our bills. I went and did what I thought was important, I had my ENTIRE priority list upside down, and I really had no clue what I was doing.