Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm 34 and my partner of 3 years and I have decided to separate. She is 31 and has recently been diagnosed with combined ADHD. 99% of the time,I have never met a more lovely, kind, caring, beautiful girl in my life. It's the 1% that was the end. Pre diagnosis was a rollercoaster of arguments, power plays, impulsivity, depression, drug taking on nights out, Hyperfocus/ me being ignored, crying/breakdowns, her mind racing, anxiety and generally living her life at 1000 mph.

I wanted to reach out here because I feel like there may be people in the same boat as me that could help. 

Let me start by expressing my thanks for this forum. My wife of 20 years was recently diagnosed but I have had my suspicions forever. It wasn't until she recently had Covid that the ugliest side of ADHD reared it's ugly head. 
She had a very bad experience with Covid and lost most of her senses for quit some time. Almost as soon as she recovered, she went into a hyper bucket list phase. I tried to be patient and understanding but when she had an affair that drew the line. 

My wife is ADHD and cycles through the mood swings of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. This condition has devastated our marriage and ruined our intimacy life. I have come to dread the weekends, because I never know what will trigger the RSD episodes. RSD is a self-fulfilling prophecy so to speak. The more she rages about the lack of sex, and makes me feel put down and humiliated, the less I want it with her. We are in our 60's and our sex life has been few and far between.

In short, do you think the ADHD spouse can change? Or do you have to change to make it work? My wife and I have been married for 6 years, I was diagnosed at 3 years we had our daughter at 4 years and it's been up and down. I communicate poorly about things because of shame, especially money and sex. Getting diagnosed and treated helped us get strong enough that we had a baby together but those stresses have caused a relapse in me and I have to refocus and readjust all over again just to get back to a level of connection and communication we had before.

Hello, I knew from the beginning of our 19years and counting together (12 years married) that my wife was abused as a pre-teen. It seemed to me like background information; thought nothing of it other than compassion  for what happened. We had a wonderful courtship, engagement and marriage. 6 months after "I do" her mother died suddenly. It was heartbreaking for me because my mother-in-law was an amazing woman and I loved her. It was devastating for my wife. She took it really hard and I was her rock.

Hi everyone. Gathering the strength for my first post.

So.  After coming here and learning the truth I am facing painful realities about me and my marriage to an ADHD woman.

My life has been one of caretaking.  I saw myself with perfectly horrid clarity.  Constantly blamed and shamed for trying to have some order in the chaos that is undiagnosed ADHD.

Hi, 

I would like to know if anyone else is in this situation and what they are doing or did... My husband has ADHD and I have PMDD, and we're new to these news.. Explains a lot. But still can't cope. 

Hello,

My ADHD is my husband. he is 60, says he has it and has tested twice but both results came back as he doesn't has one. We have been to counseling but didn't work. Since the test results say he doesn't have ADHD, there is no treatment plan. We've been together 9 years.

I love this site and how poitive it is. I don't like talking about divorce but my non-adhd wife has decided to leave me. We have a 6-yo and a 3-yo girl and boy. I'm devastated. Ever since we started a family the negative parts of adhd krept in - anxiety over money, providing a good enough life for my wife and kids, insecurity of whether i was being a good enough husband and father, shame over making little mistakes. That's when i hurt my wife. When I would become overwhelmed with negative thoughts I didn't know how to communicate it to her. So she would feel lonely and shut out.