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by: goldenfleece -
Thanks we had tried her but she isn't taking on anyone else and we seem to be getting little response from the others - will keep trying!>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Couples Counselling UK (Swindon, Cheltenham or online)
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by: sickandtired -
I have a dear friend who is suffering in her old age because she didn’t rein in her husband’s thoughtless spending and dipping into their retirement accounts. She’s 72 now, and is forced to work as a school crossing guard because social security payments are not enough to live on. She hates her life now, and deeply regrets that she let his bad financial decisions ruin her quality of life in what is supposed to be her golden years. Swedish is right. Get an attorney. Your guy cannot change his...>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: Swedish coast -
So sorry to hear this. He does sound unaware of how his actions affect you, and even that he’s betrayed your agreement about retirement funds. I don’t think you should allow him control of your personal resources. I agree the best would be to get legal help immediately. ADHD showing up as betrayal like this is in my experience coupled with such shame that the person will do anything to deny the betrayal. If he can make you emotionally accept it and move on, he’s succeeded and can...>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: Neuchatel81 -
Husband was to speak to me yesterday about business plan/budget. His idea was to give me breakdown of new business venture to make money, nothing about business budget or cutting expenses. He also indicated that I am punishing him for his past broken promises by not agreeing to go ahead with the new house we had been planning (claims I am holding him hostage). It is too apparent that he is incapable of finding a way out of this behavior. I have needed surgery scheduled in mid-April that will...>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: Looking for hope -
I really feel you. Last year my wife decided after 3 years of being for all intents and purposes unemployed that she would go into business for herself. I did A LOT of work to help her make a business plan, make revenue projections, and decide whether to register as an S-Corp. (If you're not in the US or a tax nerd, know that it's just an option for how small business owners recognize the business's income.) Well it turns out she basically abandoned the business within a few months, having only...>>> on Forum topic - It's tax time again!
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by: J -
you slice it, it's still bread at the end the day. As the saying goes.>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: adhd32 -
You have been up against this for quite some time. The only way for a change to happen is on YOU. Call it a day and go see an attorney. Or, continue on w him draining your life savings for a business that isn't making money and go down with the sinking ship. There isn't another choice.>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: J -
C, what I heard was you saying your life was peaceful......then you said a bunch of other stuff about different parts of it.....then you ended by saying your life was peaceful....I'm glad to hear that. You also sound so much lighter than before.>>> on Forum topic - Divorced over a year now...
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by: Neuchatel81 -
Your comments really did strike home with me. For years I have thought that maybe it was me just being too particular and difficult. Now I realize that most of the time (not all) I am very reasonable in what I ask of him. I too hope he can make better choices at this point. I do see him making some effort but just hope it is not too little, too late for both of us.>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: Off the roller ... -
So I heard Karen Doherty on the adhd chatter podcast and just thought she was amazing. She's a UK Melissa :) (kidding admin!) But if you go to her site, I think she offers a list of trained therapist, at thr very least she has the right resources. She's got a TV show, blue therapy, on right now There is also a blog article by Rachel ban on this site that has questions you should ask the therapist. I used them recently and was able to suss put a therapist that claimed they were trained...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Couples Counselling UK (Swindon, Cheltenham or online)
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by: honestly -
that attack thing; it’s RSD. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. I’d ask my ex about his plans, for eg, and he would react as if I’d come at him with a knife. It’s a hall of mirrors. You’re the cast as the monster while he’s the one actually being mean. Oh but you can actually have RSD and be perfectly nice. My therapist told me. It’s just a case of recognising it for what it is and then not inflicting it on your loved ones. It’s a choice. You have my sympathy. I hope he can learn...>>> on Forum topic - Inaccurate Labels
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by: Off the roller ... -
I was so happy to read your update. Your posts have always been appreciated.>>> on Forum topic - Divorced over a year now...
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by: Swedish coast -
C, so nice to get an update! I’ve been thinking about you. Moving slowly through early stages of dating with a decent man now, I recognize your thought that living alone may be the best option. I’m happy for you, having found peace.>>> on Forum topic - Divorced over a year now...
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by: J -
is not exactly the problem. Finding the "right people" ....as you mentioned, really is the crux of the matter. "For artists and bohemians, it can make a creative community happen." Let's look at this idea of "artists" and "bohemians" as two separate things that seem to go together. I'm not arguing they don't, but for me, it's more like this.... My artistic "talent" is just something I have or own. I didn't ask for it, it's just there, it is, it exists...or...something "I do" at...>>> on Forum topic - It's Insidious
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by: Groot Lover -
All the best>>> on Forum topic - Conversations in his head
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by: J -
what you said here, so eloquently at that. I wanted to hone in on one thing you said which is very profound. "Any time a man or women attempts to (think for) rationalize how a certain situation should be viewed, or acted upon from the opposite sexes perspective, we'll be wrong 100% of the time, because we can never know what it's like to be what we can never be, so we can only assume! " Full stop. In terms of men or women as two separate groups, these two groups function differently...>>> on Forum topic - Partner sexually hyper focused
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by: Brodeybug -
thank you for all your suggestions, very helpful and I will look for that book.>>> on Forum topic - Conversations in his head
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by: c ur self -
After reading this thread, I will point out a few issue that I see here...One issue is the fundamental difference between all men and all women...Any time a man or women attempts to (think for) rationalize how a certain situation should be viewed, or acted upon from the opposite sexes perspective, we'll be wrong 100% of the time, because we can never know what it's like to be what we can never be, so we can only assume!...I hear you talking about cuddling etc., and all this touching from a women's...>>> on Forum topic - Partner sexually hyper focused
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by: J -
You've touched on the very heart of the matter for me, (and maybe for you ?? ) and if I'm to be completely honest with myself, I must admit the deeper core fear that's been driving me for so long. You said this: "I am dealing with my spouses and he's bringing into the mix all the lovely messiness of his childhood upbringing and his coping strategies that no longer work for him but he keeps applying them and doing them and expecting different results when he's doing the same thing over and over...>>> on Forum topic - It's Insidious
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by: Off the roller ... -
I follow this site religiously and somehow I missed this post. But thank you. This is me. I'll write more later but thank you for writing this.>>> on Forum topic - Emergency Course Correction
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