-
by: Neuchatel81 -
I know for a fact he is on the phone with clients and the funds are being used for his business. He is just a very bad business manager, and frequently subscribes to software and other products that he never uses. I have been asking for a business budget for years, but he has been unable to put one together (despite being a finance major in college) as his idea of a budget is just to “earn money.”>>> on Forum topic - End of long relationship
-
by: adhd32 -
Is there a possibility it's all fake and he can't stop stealing your money because if he did, he would have to admit it is all a ruse? What kind of business needs tens of thousands of dollars infused into it every year?>>> on Forum topic - End of long relationship
-
by: StarGirl1996 -
It is very weird behaviour for sure but he has never ever behaved like this. He has always been a sweetheart and treated me very well which makes it so strange and it all happened shortly after increasing his dose to 50mg. Ive been in a relationship with him for several years but have known him since School since I was 11 and he was 12. Nearly 20 years of knowing him and he has never show any signs of behaviour like this.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: adhd32 -
You can't fix him. The changes you are seeing probably aren't all from the medicine. Your relationship is changing and adhd people do not like change. He may not describe the relationship the same way you do. You have gotten to the stage where shine has worn off. He is revealing his true self, this is who he is. There are red flags mentioned in the beginning paragraphs about the unqualified workmen. His guard was down and that is how he processes anger and frustration. Don't waste your time...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: StarGirl1996 -
It is very weird behaviour for sure but he has never ever behaved like this. He has always been a sweetheart and treated me very well which makes it so strange and it all happened shortly after increasing his dose to 50mg. Ive been in a relationship with him for several years but have known him since School since I was 11 and he was 12. Nearly 20 years of knowing him and he has never show any signs of behaviour like this.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: sickandtired -
This guy sounds like a basket case. You have dodged a bullet by not marrying him. True love isn’t this hard to maintain. Count your blessings and move on. You can’t fix him.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: RockandAHardPlace -
Not that it really matters, but what kind of business needs $50k of investment 2 years in a row? After 5 years of being in business, if you’re not profitable, it’s probably time to move on. And yes, this sounds like an addiction. Which is the hyper focus that happens with ADHD; but the difference here is that he won’t even discuss this with you. Kudos to you for going to family mediation. I wish you the best.>>> on Forum topic - Business endeavor
-
by: honestly -
The saddest thing about all this is for me is the paragraph where you say you feel excited and motivated and are going to try new treatments, therapies, etc. I wonder if it's an inherent (though not necessarily universal) part of some ADHD psychologies. It's certainly what happened with my ex. That things have to get to breaking point, before something clicks, and effort can be made. It's tragic from your point of view, and heartbreaking for the spouse. To the spouse it feels like a long...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
-
by: StarGirl1996 -
Thanks did he end up breaking up and getting back together with you? Im hoping things all work out as we had a very stable happy relationship and this weird behaviour and breakup came out of nowhere. He messaged today saying he is having lots of highs and lows and thinks the 40mg is too high as well and wants to be on 30mg. He wants to meet for Coffee on the 23rd and wants to give me the record gifts he got, but also mentioned giving me back the items I got on our engagement holiday last year. Seems...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: Neuchatel81 -
It is Saturday morning and husband is yet again on phone with clients. He continues to work 7 days a week. We spoke last week about him scheduling 1 day off per week (I have been asking for months if not years), and he told me it would take him a couple of weeks to do it. Wow! Guess that is really my answer to all. We are scheduled for Family Mediation in mid-September to try and compromise on the joint account that he now claims is all “his.” This is my last effort to try and save the...>>> on Forum topic - End of long relationship
-
by: emilly browns -
i was about to say that, should keep trying.... but you really opened my eyes>>> on Forum topic - I can't be my husband's advocate
-
by: emilly browns -
when i married to my husband, we didn't know what adhd is. we found each other perfect, although my husband has severe adhd while i am on starting edge of spectrum. still he appeared fine to me, even though my familly was concern when they first met him. that's how we found about it. lol!>>> on Forum topic - ADHD on both sides of the partnership?
-
by: emilly browns -
i have faced similar kind of experience when my husband started ADHD medications. the worst part is we both have adhd, but mine is very subtle>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: Swedish coast -
So sorry about your fiancés behavior. Starting ADHD medication can be turbulent and as I’ve seen in my ex husband, personality altering. To a partner, it can be frightening. Admittedly, my ex had depression and anxiety on top of ADHD, as well as heritability for bipolar disorder. But I understand even with ADHD only, there are several options for medical treatment. The first one might not be the right one, or the dose may be wrong. Medication must be tailored to the person. We had the...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Fiancé broke off our Engagement by text whilst over Medicated on Elvanse
-
by: J -
"The part that really worries me is that my brain is wired like that, and I'll never be able to stop doing it. I am though hopeful about some of the newer therapies." Speaking only from my own experience. Therapy is what helped me shift my insecure attachememt to what's been been termed as "earned secure". You can change it yes, but it takes s lot of dedicated effort. It takes time and patience but it can be done. It's an on gojng process really, the more effort you put into it, the more it...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
-
by: Neuchatel81 -
Mediator unavailable till September. I was really hoping for an earlier date. Guess I have waited this long that I can wait another month.>>> on Forum topic - End of long relationship
-
by: ctrapper -
Yeah, I said I wasn't comfortable signing it. She did originally say that she wanted to sort of do the in house quite separation thing, which I sort of dismissed because it sounds awful (and still does). And the post-nup was sort of a way of saying to me I need something to know you are going to actually try and treat yourself if you want connection. More of insurance for herself so she could feel safe to be connected again, not as a threat. I told her I'd rather try and do the quiet separation...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
-
by: ctrapper -
Thanks for the feedback. Yes, I am under no delusion that this isn't a ME problem. And that is honestly what we do now. We'll go somewhere else for a nightcap. It also helps if we are having 2 drinks at dinner for me to just wait to order my 2nd. I don't consider this a significant problem anymore. But nice to know others have the same hangup. And yes, she has had to deal with the on/off for 20 years. More if you count our fairly long courtship. I have been recently reading "...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
-
by: J -
From reading your post, I spotted ( of pin pointed ) the one thing that would hurt me most in everything you said. You said you'd do just about anything here, so if it were me, this is what I'd need you to do. I'd focus on that "on/ off", intermittant connection thing you described. Everytime, my last partner would do this, it was like a dagger to the heart...repeateded daggers, over and over, every time she switched "off". I cannot express to you, how corosive that is over time. ( the daggers...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
-
by: 1Melody1 -
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. I don't know if it's too late or not to salvage your relationship - that really depends on your wife's mindset. But either way, I would highly recommend you get a legal opinion before signing a post-nup. Nothing combative - just a truly fair and honest opinion on what's reasonable and customary in situations like yours. To assure her of your honesty, perhaps you can even go together to get a balanced opinion so both of you can see clearly how the finances...>>> on Forum topic - I think I waited too long.
Learn to thrive in your relationship
Your Relationship Can Change.
Start Here.
Become the Partner You Want to Be.
Be Heard. Feel Understood. Connect Live.
Stop Having the Same Fight.
Free Masterclass · Sept. 2
Upcoming seminars & support groups
📣 Fall Registration Is Now Open
Now Enrolling
• Relationship Skills for ADHD Partners
• Non-ADHD partner Support Groups
Available Anytime
Ongoing Support
📚️ Recommended Reading
🌟 Featured by HuffPost as one of the top books therapists recommend for couples.
Register for free marriage tips here!
"Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."