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by: honestly -
Thank you, Off The Roller. I’ll look out for Karen Doherty. My lad is 22. Such progress we have made is more to do with his wellbeing than a better relationship with his dad. He tells me he’s let go of a lot of the anger but that leaves him feeling very little. He’s also spending quality time with an old and trusted family friend over a shared interest, which is proving really sustaining. It also makes me realise how vulnerable this - having a father like he had - can make children. What...>>> on Forum topic - Helping the kids.
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by: Off the roller ... -
...but I wish it wasn't so hard and scary to hear. I didnt get to go on the trip. Instead my FIL died and he was a massive support to me. Maybe even a crutch. But im so overwhelmed with grief I'm not sure what to do or where to go or what.>>> on Forum topic - Trainwrecks
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by: Off the roller ... -
I've been saving/sharing podcasts wirh my 12 year old. The appropriate ones of course. I find any podcasts with Karen Doherty- especially a recent one she did- are really good. She speaks about relationships, platonic ones but also is acknowledging thr pain that is felt when ur on the recieving end of someone dysfunction or under-functioning How old is your son?>>> on Forum topic - Helping the kids.
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by: Off the roller ... -
I wanted to acknowledge your post. I've read it so many times. Thank you for sharing as it's been so helpful. I think this is what my future entails - how have you been coping? My heart breaks for you and your son, your ex is a grown man and it's probably better that you've let him suffer the consequences of his actions. But I can tell your heart breaks for ur son. Mine does too and we can't do anything about changing it - just love our kids and support them as best as possible without enabling.>>> on Forum topic - Helping the kids.
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by: scott william -
Thanks for sharing this, dleik! That’s a really practical way to keep daily tasks and thoughts organized — especially for those of us who struggle with mental clutter or time blindness. The idea of pairing a habit tracker with a brain dump sheet is smart; it helps clear the mind and build consistency at the same time. I’ll definitely give this a try and maybe tweak it a bit for my own routines. Really appreciate you making it accessible to everyone!!>>> on Forum topic - Use of a Habit Tracker and Brain Dump form
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by: scott william -
I’m really sorry you’re carrying so much at once. Losing two close people so quickly is overwhelming, and it makes sense that everything feels heavier with your partner struggling too. Grief affects everyone differently, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong for needing support. You deserve space, care, and help—whether that’s from a therapist, trusted friend, or anyone who can hold some of this with you. You’re not weak for feeling “enough,” just human. Be gentle with yourself right now.>>> on Forum topic - When big time grief strikes
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by: J -
My autonomic nervous system has taken a beating. It's not happy with me at the moment but it is improving. Today, it decided to torment me again. Staying down resting seems to be the only help. J>>> on Forum topic - Breaking Up
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by: Swedish coast -
Sending all my best wishes.>>> on Forum topic - Breaking Up
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by: J -
I'm still in the process of grieving "loss" in multiple areas of my internal world. The end of my relationship with my SO is just part. As I've had plenty of time for self reflection and reconstructing the structure of our relationship, there were some realizations I had to come to that made sense to everything else. This is a healing experience to understand the entire story...from start to finish...plugging in all the new information you know, that really helped me understand.....it wasn't my...>>> on Forum topic - When big time grief strikes
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by: J -
I appreciate your consideration. I had an event happen, where everything peaked and my body just shut down. Too much, for too long, and the pain was just too intense. Vegal Nerve Collapse is the official name but it also made me aware...this has happened before. It's a panic attack.....where your body just finally says....I've had enough, and your body goes into conservation mode....and nothing seems to work as usual with lots of physical symptoms. It's a physiological effect, but in the moment, you...>>> on Forum topic - Breaking Up
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by: c ur self -
What would you want a spouse to do if it was you behaving like a child/victim? I know I would want her to laugh at me, never mother me, (enable me) and walk away (not engage me) from ANY comments that weren't safe, responsible, and full of ownership and kindness towards her...So that her day to day life wouldn't be negatively impacted by me... And I would be forced to grow up and be a safe grown man, or leave... That is what I would want from my wife... c>>> on Forum topic - What is real?
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by: c ur self -
So sorry about the grief of losing a family member and close friend...Grief is hard, and the finality of death can be overwhelming to us also...(Even though we know we will all leave this life by death, (barring Jesus returns) we are usually never ready to face it... This statement of yours below is a vital reality we must accept, and live our lives by, when we find the reality of our spouse's life, more times than not, mirroring your statement... (I have come to understand that I...>>> on Forum topic - When big time grief strikes
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by: wantobfree -
The stories I am reading from all of you are so similar to what I have experienced with my husband of almost 20 years. I can’t say that I have been happy with him, I am staying until my youngest goes to college and I am financially independent. I need to find a decent pay job after being forced to l leave my old one due to a TBI. That head trauma made me comprehend who my husband really is. I have been slowly crowing out of my disability and I am desperate to get out and build my life again. It has...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: donotuserealname23 -
I wish there was a like button feature.>>> on Blog post - "Reward Focused Brain" Doesn't Accurately Describe the ADHD Experience
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by: donotuserealname23 -
Thank you for the explanation. Causation is not a topic to play around with and the risk mitigation in pregnancy makes perfect sense to any reasonable person.>>> on Blog post - Tylenol, Autism, oh my!
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry for your loss.>>> on Forum topic - When big time grief strikes
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by: Swedish coast -
It’s human to want safety. It’s one of our most basic needs. Without it, love, respect, intimacy are not achievable. What your partner’s mood swings and shifting confidence does, is to gradually erode your safety. I think your partner needs to quickly become aware of the need for him to be stabilized by treatment. He needs to provide safety to you.>>> on Forum topic - What is real?
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by: liz1999 -
You are not alone with that. I have been with mine for almost 2 years now married..and his impulsivity has really done some damage in the past…everything is always just my fault ..he is on a waiting list for a diagnosis but its been exhausting and my own trauma on top of it …there have been moments where it has been hell surely for both of us but when it comes to talking its all on me, its my fault..my emotions are too much for him most of the time and he deflects all the time and then he becomes...>>> on Forum topic - Deflection and Aggression
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by: Swedish coast -
My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry your relationship has taken this turn and its making you physically ill. Do you have a safe place to stay and recuperate?>>> on Forum topic - Breaking Up
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by: Help Please -
Hi All, I SO appreciate these helpful and validating responses. Sorry for the delay in circling back. I did issue an ultimatum regarding substance use (i.e., stop during pregnancy and early postpartum) and he chose to stop using versus moving out and has done so in the past 3 weeks. He also feels a lot of regret about 'dragging his feet' regarding getting a new job and has been very motivated with applications/interviews/etc. recently. I am in my own ongoing individual therapy...>>> on Forum topic - Why do things get the worst when I need support the most?
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