Recent Comments
- by: Swedish coast - Good for you. Studying and advancing professionaly has been the best way for me to reach independence. It's been sound financially. It's also provided a sense of purpose and even comfort. It's comforting to be able to slip into a textbook. One can concentrate for hours on entirely different matters than housekeeping and why one's marriage is so unhappy. You're thinking strong constructive thoughts. This will all be good for your future, I'm sure.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Haveaniceday - Swedish Coast, yes, I do think I need more time away from the house. I'm very good at making and keeping social connections, and I really need this for my happiness. I've decided to get away for a girls week next year, which will only be the 2nd time I've ever gone away and left them to fend for themselves. They will be fine, but I think I will come back to a bit of a mess and undone things. I'll have to accept it. I am also considering going back to studying part time, although it's a mix of excitement...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Swedish coast - It might take time, but I'm sure she's there and will eventually surface again. So sorry about your stress and lack of support. I know of this too. It alters one's entire perspective on life. Somebody said we have to re-learn everything after this kind of relationship. That sounds so true to me. If you've struggled hard to do good for decades, only to always be disappointed at outcomes, which are invariably failure, shame and frustration, you learn helplessness. Even if, and this kills me, even if you've...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Haveaniceday - Thank you Swedish Coast, this makes me feel less frightened somehow. I really do not want to get very sick and end up totally incapacitated, so I will take this as my body, mind and soul's way of telling me that enough IS already enough and I need to take myself and my wellbeing seriously, starting today. I've always been scared of breaking down and not being there for my family, but honestly, I want to not break down for myself too. I want that sparkly, creative, joyful person back. I miss her.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Swedish coast - Yes, this is relatable. When help finally arrives, and you don't have to carry it all, it's like all your accumulated exhaustion shows itself. It's powerful and frightening. There doesn't need to be anything wrong with your health, I believe. It might just be your body speaking up for itself, now it has opportunity. I'd listen to it.>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Haveaniceday - and to continue, this is the feeling I have, I'm more than half way through my life (if I'm lucky and get to live a full life). I see that until my dysfunctional coping mechanisms are really deeply dealt with, I won't thrive in this marriage, or in any other marriage for that matter. I married a combination of my father and mother, mixed with a character in my spouse that is unique and essentially a very good person. I see that it's karmic in a way, why I had the distinct feeling of "he feels like home"...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Haveaniceday - Off the Roller, this was the main topic in my therapy session yesterday. So I have committed to spend 2025 really working through this part. 2024 was about my spouse and our teen acknowledging and accepting their ADD / ADHD , working through lots of crises and me starting to acknowledge the resentment I had built up. I said enough is enough this time last year, which prompted the spouse's diagnosis and start of journey. But now it seems there is a new enough is enough - I literally do not have the physical...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: Haveaniceday - Today is the first time I'm even getting to answer the messages to my own post. That's how quickly time gets sucked up in modern day life and with an ADHD family .. Swedish Coast, you mention you had a Burnout in 2018. I had a therapy session yesterday and felt quite positive and balanced, despite realizing once again that I am no closer to knowing what I need to do, or how much further I can go on. Then, when I woke up this morning, I had the nagging question of "I wonder if I'm burnt out". I have never...>>> on Forum topic - ADHD Anxiety families
- by: c ur self - I'm so excited!!! It's not that I'm am happy about a divorce...It's just that I am extremely thankful and excited to not be held hostage by an uncaring soul any longer!!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - I'm trying to stay out of her way....She and I have been having mostly all calm dialog...Once she finally accepted this time, I was done...But, I got a call from my Attorney two days ago...He said she had hired an attorney and sent over a countor proposal...Of course she did (smh) LOL....Basically it said the same thing I had put in my papers, but, she was asking for 40,000, and had it labeled as "property settlement"....I had agreed to a 30,000 dollar gift to help her remodel her house...So I went and...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - I am good w/ all the cooking and cleaning stuff (raised by a highly energetic working & disciplinarian mom w/ 2 brothers, no sisters)...I taught my first wife (I was 20, she was 19) how to cook...So maintaining a clean healthy environment will be normal for me...I'm planning on remodeling my home once she has moved...I will just take it one room at a time...Strip up the carpets, remove wallpaper, float out the walls, paint the ceilings, replace the light fixtures/fans etc...I'll probably do the kitchen...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: J - one of my ADHD strategies for house keeping is not making work that I don't want to do. Even though it's not environmentally friendly, buying plastic plates, cups and silverware worked exceptionally well for me at various times! I also made a lot of one skillet meals, usually stir fry. One skillet, one utensil and one knife. The combinations are endless and they take minutes to make. At least the kitchen was always clean. Lol>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: Swedish coast - C, I'm happy too that she's leaving. Hoping for a peaceful future for you!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: sickandtired - Good for you for picking your battles. If she's continuing packing and moving stuff to her old home, you don't want to upset the momentum by arguing over individual items. I argued with my ex over a few things, and he used it as an excuse to stop packing and not leave. I'm looking forward to hearing about your new, peaceful single life after she has totally moved out of your life! Congratulations!>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: c ur self - I'm w/ you, relaxing doesn't mean idleness for many of us...I tend to not over think things when I continue with my regular routine's....My wife came home around 6:30 and packed up the kitchen...Most everything we have she say's belongs to her...LOL...I told her to take anything she wants...I'll be the happiest guy in town eating off of paper plates....:) c>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: J - I discovered something the other day at work, having to do with one of my co-workers who has ADHD. I was trying to find a word ( or words ) to describe her at times and the best fit was simply a "bad attitude". This comes from not wanting to be there or having to work. I'm sure, at home, she's probably a different person which I'm sure she is. And she's not this way all the time, but still, enough of the time, which makes her hard to deal with. A royal pain would also fit! Lol So as I am, I tend to look...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - J, I believe you. I've seen this in my ex. There isn't a choice about some things. And also, the friction of working against (dis)ability sometimes takes too much energy to be worth it. I don't understand this exactly, but I've witnessed it. I think you should argue for your default Sunday morning. The things that could make it more palatable for your SO I'm guessing could be: 1) An agreed fixed time when you reunite after, like at noon, so she can have some control over her time while she waits, ie not...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: J - Before I was ever diagnosed, throughout my life, I began to realize or notice the invisible walls. These were like mental blocks or black holes that I'd run into that seemed to prevent me from doing certain things that I wanted to do. I noticed some things came incredibly easy while others seemed impossible no matter how hard I tried. You might call this innate talent but these walls were different. These weren't just doing something poorly...these appeared as a complete inability no matter how many times...>>> on Forum topic - Successful Interaction
- by: Swedish coast - >>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent
- by: Swedish coast - Loneliness, oh yes. Haven't been out of a romantic relationship more than a few months since I was 18... It's foreign. But the thought of a partner is vaguely disgusting and also frightening. I couldn't trust anybody. Today it's Sunday. I'll try to do as you say and relax. It might mean digging up the rain wet garden for flower beds and putting in some late tulip bulbs. I think physical and mental distractions play a big part in getting out of the shakiest patches. Couch is a fickle friend. It may just...>>> on Forum topic - How to live and be a parent