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by: J -
Actually, being alone helps because I can set things up to optimize myself without any outside constraints. My ADHD symptoms really disappear when I on my own schedule, do things that work for me, and borrow off my strengths. Finding my optimum "sweet spot" and staying there is what I've found works extremely well if nothing else ( or no one else ) gets involved. But being with, or finding the right person has always seemed to allude me. I can't say I've ever found that "good match" where I...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: adhd32 -
Hi. My 65+ y/o ADHD husband was exhibiting similar things for the last 2 years. I thought he was just an old grumpy @$$hole. He has been treated for the last 15 years for depression (not medicated for ADHD bc he claims he doesn't have it) so I thought ADHD was getting worse or his meds for depression were no longer working. I started to pay attention to the ups and downs. His behavior is worse when he is in an unfamiliar environment such as on vacation. Better at home. Awkward when out in a group...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: J -
Something in what you just said sparked a memory related to my earlier comments concerning the Alzeimers/Dementia possibility. This is completely unrelated, but still related, in an indirect way. You started out this post by mentioning "competence" which brings me to this memory I had. It has more to do with what someone believes, based on circumstantial evidence. I'm not directing this memory at you, but more to what you just said...."people are suffering". I took your comment to mean in...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
I agree with Swedish Coast: I think consistency is what your wife "needs" to see, and it could be that consistency that saves the marriage. I hope things are going much better.>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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by: 2Independent -
You feelings are totally understandable. It sounds like your husband is worn down and overwhelmed. Will he not see a doctor about depression/anxiety? Is there a plan for you and your family to climb out of the financial rut that seems to be (?) the main factor that is taking your husband/your children's father away from you all? How was he when he was working one job? One thing you can do is let your children know that their father right now is doing the best he can, but you...>>> on Forum topic - Feeling Like a Single Parent At Times
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by: 2Independent -
I'm glad things have gotten better for you. What do you attribute it to?>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
Our whole culture needs to get past that. People are suffering.>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: J -
... I forgot to mention. This thing abou not being able to admit things, is NOT just a man thing. My entire family are completely phobic of admitting anything mental health related. That also I includes the women too. It's a family thing, not a gender related thing in my situation at least.>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 1Melody1 -
Good for you, Swedish!! You'll find someone a lot more respectful.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: J -
who I highly suspect was undiagnosed ADHD. This is where I pause, because I have only ONE person who I have any experience with when it comes to Dimentia or Alzeimers which was my own mother. To suggest otherwise, would be making a false claim that I know much of anything about this topic other than her. Having said that, for years after my father passed away, I was her go to person, to help her as needed for certain things around the house. I was there as a regular observer of her behavior, as...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Swedish coast -
You were right! We met for coffee, he thought he could impress me and tried to control me a little. I told him after 15 minutes it didn’t work and he looked annoyed and left without saying goodbye. Well, wiser for it. Thank you Melody and J.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: 2Independent -
Insightful of you. Yes, my husband had suffered with depression for years. But you also mention anxiety, which is very interesting--a lightbulb just lit up. From me looking in, I would wonder if my husband hasn't become agoraphobic over the last few years. He seems to hate leaving the house. He is also drinking more. I have wondered also about some early onset dementia, to be honest. But I know the ADD has been there all along. I know that dealing with any one of these things on their own is difficult...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
Oh, no - you did not come across in a bad way at all. I got exactly what you were saying, as I was there in my 30s (why I mentioned that time in my life) only under different circumstances (not ADHD!). And I really do appreciate your empathy. I am so mad at myself for not catching things--or acting--earlier, when I was better able to! As I mentioned also, I am in a slump or downward spiral right now, so I know things may be looking up next month and I will feel better able to handle...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Swedish coast -
He seems very sweet and anxious to meet up. I’m not sure I’ll like it. But guess one has to try things once. Need to know if senses can be trusted, if you know what I mean? Thank you for looking out for me. I’ll keep you posted.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry to hear this. Also apologize about how I may have come across. Every person’s situation is unique, and of course I don’t know what your best options are. However, I have so much empathy for how hard it is to handle a slow slide in functioning like you describe in your husband. How could you have known? He wasn’t upfront about his past and then there’s been a slow gradual decline. I sometimes think about moving in with one or several woman friends as a way to cut costs...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: J -
If he wanted it bad enough, he'd find a way to get there. End of story.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: J -
There's not much I could add or give advise to in your post, but a couple of things caught my eye in what you said about going to the doctor and you attributing this to "ADD" ( or ADHD depending on what country you're from ). Part of my own frustration ( in figuring out ) what is what....is when I'd read a list of symptoms and they list things, not directly caused my the "ADHD condition" itself. These are the "correlations" ...not the causes you might say. It really makes things confusing...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
I am in a bit of a downward spiral. I have "dealt" with this by creating my own life, doing my own thing, being involved in various things in the community. I have even gone to workshops and vacations on my own or with friends to catch a break from homelife. I hope to find a way to climb back out of this. Perhaps the biggest disappointment is in myself for tolerating what was at times intolerable through the years, of hoping against hope, for being so foolish to think this was ever going to...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
I don't think my husband would suddenly become a competent, independent adult if I left. I look back in hindsight to his life before we met, some things that came to the surface later and other things that I probably was in denial about: a terrible divorce, a bankruptcy (that he hid from me for years), extreme over-spending, and job loss (fired once, laid off later). A lot of this (how awful the divorce was and how it would impact our lives, the financial issues, and then different stories/excuses for...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 1Melody1 -
Ugh! He doesn't deserve another second of your time or headspace, Swedish!>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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