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by: J -
I would be remiss, if I didn't share the life lesson this taught me. This, being the partial story of the pimp and the prostitute. The "Hustler". You could also call him a "salesperson", and she was the "influencer". Either way, the technique is the same. It's just what level your talking about and which "wares" they're selling or prontoming. Human nature doesn't change, it just depends if it's elicit or not? And "hustler " is still a good term to use. This isn't some new revelation in my own...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
has a lot to do with this I think. This is a huge consideration for myself in my own experience. And I do forgive myself for what I didn't know. As a young teenager, I just loved music especially rock music at the time. I was chomping at the bit to go see my favorite bands perform, before I could even drive. So for me, walking inside these venues with friends, was like waking into another world and without besting around the bush, it was a vortex of illicit behavior like nothing I'd ever seen before....>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
Off the Roller. I may have mentioned this long ago ( here ) but it's worth repeating. My father was a corporate executive in sales management over seeing a large territory of retail stores. This required him to travel regularly ( monthly ) as part of his work routine. He'd be gone for 10 days up to 2 or 3 weeks at a time. Typically, 10 days a month was standard. This was also the time ( after my sisters had moved out ) that my mom and I spent time together. When I say "time together", I mean we...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: honestly -
Your gut, your body, your heart. It's like MOST of you knows, but the brain is not quite able to tune in to what your body knows... I think it would be a really good idea spending some time letting yourself know and feel your feelings. Whatever else you do for yourself, sorry to say this, but if your son grows up in an environment in which he's obliged to prioritise someone else's feelings over his own, all the time, it's a recipe for long-term relational difficulties. I've seen my son go...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
That's actually who I am.>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
Thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging reply. There's so much food for thought here ( and the book recomedation ) that it definitely gives me pause for examination in multiple domains of my life. Before I say anything else, at this moment in time, I'm feeling the least anxiety I've just about felt than any other time in my life and I'm trying to figure out exactly why? You'd think, just the opposite would be true? And as far as the Jungle Book or even Tarzan story are concerned,...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: Swedish coast -
For me, there has been great confusion about my instincts and emotions in the ADHD marriage. That can also make adjustments around an ill spouse difficult. If I chose a partner based on early impressions, and stayed with them though they later morphed catastrophically, disappointed me and hurt me, what does that say about me? What did my bond to them, and the urge to have an intact family, do to my judgment? Or did I not understand what was happening? Or did I just deal with the ADHD badly,...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: Off the roller ... -
This for me, is the hardest thing to comprehend. I think my body and heart know it, but my brain isn't catching up and refuses to (for some reason and this is why I keep consistent therapy going). his health - physical and mental - 10000% affects me. Our son's as well. We are walking on eggshells everyday. Now that my spouse is home from the hospital, we are back on the eggs, but while he was gone... whoa, it was just lighter and easier and breathable. And manageable. My husband and I...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: Off the roller ... -
Thanks J, I've come to really enjoy your (albeit) lengthy posts on return as you definitely have some nuggets in there. First, would you believe I've never watched Jungle Book or have a recollection of it in the references you gave? I think I'll go back and watch it. But I also believe in the same that it 'takes a Village'...but with that, you have to BE a villager too. If you want a Village of support, you gotta serve and be that to someone/anyone else. I think you agree with that anyways, but...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: honestly -
I've been thinking a lot about ADHD and health recently. Before we separated, my husband had a series of health issues. I swear they were from simply not getting up from his desk, other than to eat, bitch at me, watch TV and sleep. Some were low key complaints, but gross, like fungal nail infections, bad spots, blackheads the size of dressmakers pins, that he just let flourish. There was bigger stuff like weeping boils I had to squeeze and dress for him. He developed eye problems that required...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
Off the Roller. You mentioned lifestyle. Looking past "my situation", that is, no home. I've established some very workable routines that fit my particular lifestyle at the moment. This is actually working out quite well which is why I came back to include my daily routine. This is my "in town" routine ...I have a different one when I'm our in the wilderness. You could easily say, these are my bites if you like. Because gas is so extensive, I try to combine multiple bites, in one trip...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
If I've learned anything from being "Mogli" in my growing up years. If your out there alone, the kindness of strangers will just happen. That exists just as much as anything bad that out there too. "Manifesting" is what your saying I think?. I've never heard of the book your describing, but I know there's a science to it. It's not magic and things don't just fall from the sky because you pay some online gurus person to tell you how to "manifest" what you want by thinking a certain way....>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: Swedish coast -
So sorry Off the Roller, this must be hard. I think there is a very real health risk with ADHD behavior in some cases. I have friends whose divorced ADHD husbands have fallen into unhealthy habits like eating nothing but fast food for years, also taking risks with their children’s health (one child is a diabetic and the father seems unaware she might die from hypoglycemia). One of them has also not sought care for a serious condition in themselves, needing surgery. Spending all day...>>> on Forum topic - The body DOES keep the score
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by: J -
Coming back here for show and tell. I loved show and tell as a kid at school. One of my favorite! Lol I thought, sharing my thoughts and showing ( anyone reading this ). And specifically, this is not what most anyone has to do, but I do, in my current situation. I thought about labeling ( titling ) this comment a number of different things but I decided just to show you something instead Again, I had no intention of creating a whole discussion topic based on the "one scene" from a movie...>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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by: J -
last night. Actually, it wasn't a dream as much as that half awake state, when your eyes are still closed but your brain in just turning on, which is when I'll get these great thoughts or ideas that just pop into my head. It's that time when you're the most clear headed before all those other thoughts and ideas of what your suppose to do that day, actually flood my brain. And if I had any thoughts or ideas, otherwise about what I should be doing right now, or people trying to tell me what to...>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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by: J -
Just a quick note in case anyone who looked up the video scene I referred to. Johhny Depp made a reference to the "Vincent Black Shadow Factory Team" they rode for. It's a highly collectable British motorcycle built in the late 40's. It's a big heavy road bike...not a motocross style desert off road bike. They're worth a small fortune because so few of them were made. There is no "Factory Racing Team", and that line was not in the book. My favorite line in that entire scene...just in case you missed...>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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by: J -
It's interesting you mentioned your spouse going to the hospital after lots of sleep and rest. My X messages messaged me about a letter she recievied for me, and invited my over to pick it up. She was actually warm and friendly and invited me in for a while. That's coldness had lifted and we visited for a while. I cannot help but think, my concern for her well being and getting her that emergency propane bottle just in case didn't have something to do with it. She was very comfortable with me being...>>> on Forum topic - I feel like just giving up
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by: Off the roller ... -
Here to give validation as well. You arent crazy but you feel it. I too feel like being on the recieving end of my partners unmanaged adhd, unprocessed trauma and his comstant overwhelmed-ness of life, is a personal form of hell that feels like Dante's 10th level. My husband, too, is a "rester". Every day. Every. Damn. Day. For hours. I have no idea where the line is between actual need for rest (bc that would meanthere should be a form of restoration/recouping i feel??)...And what it looks...>>> on Forum topic - I feel like just giving up
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by: J -
Before I say even one word, I need to say up front, this is related to the topic at hand, when talking about the past and why I have so much trouble just "letting it go". And why I can't do #1 in the list of things to help you do this. This involves the "replaying painful memories" in your head. This involves this "thing " I have. The blessing and a curse thing called " autobiographical scene memory" which I've only really recently discovered exactly what to call it? I know I have it, because I...>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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by: J -
Having been through everything you're saying, and also only recently ( in the past few years ) discovered that I also developed CPTSD from my childhood experienced long ago, the single most beneficial practice thar has helped me is Buddhism. It's NOT a religion even though some treat it as such. As a philosophy or practice to live by.....as a mental grounding practice, it has had real world positive effects on my own healing process. Realizing, I had to heal first, before I could be a good partner to...>>> on Forum topic - Navigating a New Diagnosis and Impact on Marriage
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