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by: J -
... I forgot to mention. This thing abou not being able to admit things, is NOT just a man thing. My entire family are completely phobic of admitting anything mental health related. That also I includes the women too. It's a family thing, not a gender related thing in my situation at least.>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 1Melody1 -
Good for you, Swedish!! You'll find someone a lot more respectful.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: J -
who I highly suspect was undiagnosed ADHD. This is where I pause, because I have only ONE person who I have any experience with when it comes to Dimentia or Alzeimers which was my own mother. To suggest otherwise, would be making a false claim that I know much of anything about this topic other than her. Having said that, for years after my father passed away, I was her go to person, to help her as needed for certain things around the house. I was there as a regular observer of her behavior, as...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Swedish coast -
You were right! We met for coffee, he thought he could impress me and tried to control me a little. I told him after 15 minutes it didn’t work and he looked annoyed and left without saying goodbye. Well, wiser for it. Thank you Melody and J.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: 2Independent -
Insightful of you. Yes, my husband had suffered with depression for years. But you also mention anxiety, which is very interesting--a lightbulb just lit up. From me looking in, I would wonder if my husband hasn't become agoraphobic over the last few years. He seems to hate leaving the house. He is also drinking more. I have wondered also about some early onset dementia, to be honest. But I know the ADD has been there all along. I know that dealing with any one of these things on their own is difficult...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
Oh, no - you did not come across in a bad way at all. I got exactly what you were saying, as I was there in my 30s (why I mentioned that time in my life) only under different circumstances (not ADHD!). And I really do appreciate your empathy. I am so mad at myself for not catching things--or acting--earlier, when I was better able to! As I mentioned also, I am in a slump or downward spiral right now, so I know things may be looking up next month and I will feel better able to handle...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Swedish coast -
He seems very sweet and anxious to meet up. I’m not sure I’ll like it. But guess one has to try things once. Need to know if senses can be trusted, if you know what I mean? Thank you for looking out for me. I’ll keep you posted.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: Swedish coast -
I’m so sorry to hear this. Also apologize about how I may have come across. Every person’s situation is unique, and of course I don’t know what your best options are. However, I have so much empathy for how hard it is to handle a slow slide in functioning like you describe in your husband. How could you have known? He wasn’t upfront about his past and then there’s been a slow gradual decline. I sometimes think about moving in with one or several woman friends as a way to cut costs...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: J -
If he wanted it bad enough, he'd find a way to get there. End of story.>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: J -
There's not much I could add or give advise to in your post, but a couple of things caught my eye in what you said about going to the doctor and you attributing this to "ADD" ( or ADHD depending on what country you're from ). Part of my own frustration ( in figuring out ) what is what....is when I'd read a list of symptoms and they list things, not directly caused my the "ADHD condition" itself. These are the "correlations" ...not the causes you might say. It really makes things confusing...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
I am in a bit of a downward spiral. I have "dealt" with this by creating my own life, doing my own thing, being involved in various things in the community. I have even gone to workshops and vacations on my own or with friends to catch a break from homelife. I hope to find a way to climb back out of this. Perhaps the biggest disappointment is in myself for tolerating what was at times intolerable through the years, of hoping against hope, for being so foolish to think this was ever going to...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 2Independent -
I don't think my husband would suddenly become a competent, independent adult if I left. I look back in hindsight to his life before we met, some things that came to the surface later and other things that I probably was in denial about: a terrible divorce, a bankruptcy (that he hid from me for years), extreme over-spending, and job loss (fired once, laid off later). A lot of this (how awful the divorce was and how it would impact our lives, the financial issues, and then different stories/excuses for...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: 1Melody1 -
Ugh! He doesn't deserve another second of your time or headspace, Swedish!>>> on Forum topic - Signs of ADHD in online dating
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by: Looking for hope -
Everything you’re saying rings so true - the slow onset that you meet with accommodation. The step-change degradation of ability as situational windfalls allow it - so sudden that you believe it must be just another extreme mood that will pass by morning, until you realize decades later that your own life changed substantially and irrevocably that day. The disregard or maybe distain for their own bodies, self-satisfied in the rational that it’s their own body and nobody has any interest in it>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Looking for hope -
Everything you’re saying rings so true - the slow onset that you meet with accommodation. The step-change degradation of ability as situational windfalls allow it - so sudden that you believe it must be just another extreme mood that will pass by morning, until you realize decades later that your own life changed substantially and irrevocably that day. The disregard or maybe distain for their own bodies, self-satisfied in the rational that it’s their own body and nobody has any interest in it>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: J -
Off the Roller, your comment is thought provoking, and yes, holding space is one big reason I come here. I'm allowed not to be invisible and speak my truth without having it dismissed, told I'm wrong, or simply ignored as irrelevant. I'm trying my best to do that with others ( in the real world ) not this virtual one, as we speak. And I so very much appreciate it as I have no support system of my own. Your comment also inspired me to come back and share a few things. I can't relate directly to...>>> on Forum topic - Feeling Like a Single Parent At Times
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry, but it sounds so much like your husband has let go of everything, expecting you to provide for him. It’s parasitic, it feeds off a spouse’s mental health. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d bounce off that bed and get busy with life if he one day couldn’t rely on you. My ex did. It seems to be partly situational incapacity. I for one have sworn to never again allow such behavior, whatever may be the cause. About resources, I can totally relate. It’s hard to realize all one’s worked...>>> on Forum topic - Fact of the matter: My husband has given up on life
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by: Off the roller ... -
I dont have a lot to add but wanted to validate your post. Its oh so tough. I could really relate to your stuggle with seeing other dads engage with their kids. That is also me. I really struggle wkth feelings of shame and humiliation when there are family outings in the neighbourhood or just heading outside and being neighbourly.... and it looks like Im a single mom. Its really embarrassing for me. I wish i could figure put why or make it like i didnt care what others may or may not think....but i...>>> on Forum topic - Feeling Like a Single Parent At Times
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by: J -
Something happened last night that I thought might add value to everything that's been said already ( in general ) but in addition to my last post about Kelsey Phendler. First, what happened. I went on social media, and as I do, I check my friends list to see who's commented. I skip the "news feed" since it's so inundated with noise, ads, "suggested poeple" etc. Top of my list was my sisters daughter in law, wife to my nephew. I noticed something different, so I checked. She had "unfriended" me...>>> on Forum topic - Feeling Like a Single Parent At Times
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by: J -
If you haven't already heard about Kelsey Phendler, she's in a timed race, rowing from California to Hawaii in a solo water craft. I've been following her progress but not only following her adventure, I've been taking tips from watching her: her clothing, her meal prep, her gear...everything she's doing and how she's doing it. She basically has almost, the exact same set up, I've got, except mines on land and her's is on a boat. I'm hearing all the poeple commenting, and saying the same...>>> on Forum topic - Feeling Like a Single Parent At Times
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