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by: J -
Open communication can be tentative at best. Contingent on many things. It's a delicate process.>>> on Forum topic - Supporting Each Other: Mental Health in Marriage
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by: Swedish coast -
Sorry to mention it, but one problem with ADHD is it impairs the ability to communicate clearly, and to perceive what damage the ADHD partner’s actions do to their partner.>>> on Forum topic - Supporting Each Other: Mental Health in Marriage
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by: dmpro -
Absolutely! Mental health plays a crucial role in the foundation of a strong and lasting marriage. When both partners prioritize open communication and self-care, they create a space where love and support can truly flourish. It's inspiring to see discussions like this that emphasize the importance of emotional well-being—not just individually, but as a couple. A marriage where both partners feel heard, valued, and supported is one that can withstand life’s challenges. Thank you for highlighting such...>>> on Forum topic - Supporting Each Other: Mental Health in Marriage
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by: Gadi Harshini -
dear Great tip I’m so glad this community has been a source of comfort for you. You’re absolutely right—people who haven’t been in this situation often don’t understand the depth of the struggle, and it’s not as simple as just walking away. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and it’s so important to have a space where you feel truly heard and supported. You’re not alone in this, and I hope you continue to find strength and encouragement here.>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: Gadi Harshini -
It sounds like you're carrying a lot, and I just want to acknowledge how hard that is. It’s not easy to break out of the role that others have come to expect from you, especially when you’ve been the one always putting others first. But your feelings, needs, and well-being matter just as much as anyone else’s. It’s really powerful that you’re recognizing this and allowing yourself the space to learn, grow, and seek support. You absolutely deserve to feel safe, respected, and happy—without guilt...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: Gadi Harshini -
It sounds like you're carrying a lot, and I just want to acknowledge how hard that is. It’s not easy to break out of the role that others have come to expect from you, especially when you’ve been the one always putting others first. But your feelings, needs, and well-being matter just as much as anyone else’s. It’s really powerful that you’re recognizing this and allowing yourself the space to learn, grow, and seek support. You absolutely deserve to feel safe, respected, and happy—without guilt...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: RandomAccess -
First off thank you for adding to the discussion. I get where you're coming from, and it's very mindful that you're aiming for a gentle approach. Just keep in mind that these feelings can go both ways, and you're trying to have a discussion with your partner about your feelings, not any misgivings. I'm sure you've tried initiating more, and haven't gotten the results you've gotten. Dealing and comforting feelings of inadequacy can be...tough. The only real answer is constant gentle...>>> on Forum topic - Hoping for an open discussion on intimacy
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by: hollow -
Thank you Gadi... "You deserve to feel safe, respected, and loved in a way that nourishes you." I often forget this, because of my self-sacrifice complex. I tend to put everybody's needs and wants before mine because I thought at first it was the right thing to do, but now I think it's because everybody just expects that from me. I'm always the patient one, the kind one, the selfless one, the one you can count on no matter what... and lately living with this rolls is taking a heavy toll on me...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: Gadi Harshini -
This is such a thoughtful and important discussion. Mental health can deeply impact a marriage, and acknowledging its role is the first step toward a stronger, more supportive relationship. Open communication, patience, and mutual understanding are key to navigating these challenges together. It’s also encouraging to see an emphasis on self-care—not just for one partner, but for both. A healthy marriage thrives when both individuals feel emotionally supported and valued. Thank you for sharing these...>>> on Forum topic - Supporting Each Other: Mental Health in Marriage
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by: Gadi Harshini -
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way—this sounds like such a painful and exhausting situation. You clearly care deeply for your husband, and your love and patience shine through, even in your frustration. It’s understandable that you feel torn between staying and hoping for change or leaving and feeling like you’re abandoning him. But your feelings, well-being, and happiness matter just as much as his. Even without therapy, there are small, practical steps that could help. There are free online...>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: wrong-thunder -
Good to hear that you are being supported.>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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by: J -
I've never been all that worried about taking intelligence tests ( IQ test especially ), probably because I already knew what the outcome would be. I thought. I've taken plenty of tests in the past and managed to make it through school okay. I didn't struggle except in math. In math, I'm dysfunctional. I might even have dycalculia, as I read, about 30% of people with ADHD have it and I'm probably one of them. Anyway, the math scores always threw everything off and I always scored about...>>> on Forum topic - The Zen in Motorcycle Riding
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by: J -
I've been working on this same thing at home with my SO ie: feeling safe, feeling welcome, feeling accepted. Trust has a lot to do with it, but now, I'm looking at expectations instead of trust. Differentiating these two things have been helpful. The question is: do I feel emotionally safe? Can I safely share things with my SO and have her take care of those things? The answer is: yes and no. But knowing what I know now, I have to back up a bit. How are we different both...>>> on Forum topic - Emotional safety
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by: J -
As someone who has ADHD, it's physically impossible for everything to be your fault. In contrast, it's not only possible, it's probable that ( a person ) could blame everyone else for anything they don't like. Whether it's their fault or not. Think about it.>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: djLo -
Barkmeow, I am so sorry to hear about the trouble your marriage is experiencing. So, what I am hearing is: his diagnosis of BD (bi-polar disorder) is less of a concern than your ADHD? Curious, yet isn't that a bit indicative of his dysfunction (mania and mood swings)? The Bible says we need to focus on the "log in our own eye" verses the speck in someone else's. We/you are only responsible for our/your response to said behavior. It sounds like you are doing your best by going to...>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: djLo -
Hello community, I am so glad to meet you and hear I am not alone. I feel your pain and can say only God has sustained me to this day and is the only one I truly count on! Married in ‘78 after dating 3 years - we had not heard of adhd back then? Our son was diagnosed early on. We struggled much with him in daycare, preschools and elementary. Jr. High were his best years followed by more failure in h.s. Needless to say caused tremendous stress for the marriage. Three rounds of...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
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by: Swedish coast -
J, this fluid state sounds wonderful. Isn’t it like what ER doctors and nurses experience when they deal with disaster and every minute counts? I know I’ve read that ADHD people thrive in this particular setting. One wrong move, like you on your motorcycle, and there’s death. Instead of obsessing about risks, the gifted ones manage this fluently, and love it. One has to admire it.>>> on Forum topic - The Zen in Motorcycle Riding
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by: Swedish coast -
That’s many years of living with presumably ADHD left and right. I relate to your story in that I too seem to recognize ADHD everywhere among relatives now ex husband and child have been diagnosed. How does one learn to manage it? I feel like I’m easily triggered by all kinds of eccentric behavior now. Whenever reality starts to tilt because of somebody displaying characteristic behavior, I immediately run for safety. If there’s nowhere to run, I argue in a heated tone of voice. I...>>> on Forum topic - My ADHD Spouse Won't Get Help
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by: wrong-thunder -
Your insights on the ADHD marriage forum are very thoughtful. The behavior described indeed seems to go beyond just ADHD, indicating possible emotional manipulation and control. The PowerPoint presentation, rather than fostering a productive dialogue, appears to be an attempt to deflect responsibility and blame solely on the partner.>>> on Forum topic - My husband's behavior is caused by my ADHD?
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by: hollow -
Thank you Wrong-thunder. Yes, seeing this community here has brought me a lot of comfort and good advice. This has been a safe heaven, because people here understand the struggle and the inner battle. Out in the world people would just say “why don’t you just get divorced?”, as if it was that easy for us. But here I feel heard and understood…>>> on Forum topic - I feel trapped in my marriage. I need help!
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