Recent forum posts (all topics)

in conversation re: when I feel hurt by him how do we resolve that.  I want to talk about it. He wants to forget that it ever happened. Actually he does forget bc as he often tells me Time for him is Now or Not Now. Nothing else exists. Whereas I remember every detail and if it is emotionally intense I remember it very vividly. This is a long standing intense conflict for us. Once again I found myself thinking that my ADD husband just isn't capable of imagining what it is like to be married to him and it is not possible for him to imagine my feelings.

I feel empty. I've invested and invested in him, I've invested and invested in trying to make our relationship better. I've invested time, love, money, and energy. He hasn't.

My ex-husband was diagnosed at about age 53. Initially, he seemed enchanted by the diagnosis, but that dissipated.  He seemed to like taking the medications; he was okay with talk therapy; he put very little effort into making behavior changes other than taking the medications.  So I would say the diagnosis at best had a neutral effect and at worst, was negative.  How about you? Feel free to respond whether you're a "non" or a person with ADHD.  Thanks.

I feel strongly about helping ADHDers and those who care about them. Why? Because we are not monsters. Because I wasn't a monster. Not at the beginning of my voyage, at least, I was the opposite of a self-centered, aggressive, unpleasant, demanding, hate-filled, trouble maker.  But no one knew that--except for one friend I made in the fifth grade.*  TRAITS we often share in common are BIG HEARTEDNESS. SENSITIVITY. GENEROSITY OF SPIRIT. I ached to have my folks "get it." They were so highly educated, if they believed I was no good, I had to be no good.

As you may recall, my wife lost her debit card and then my debit card last week and tried to lie by omission.  There were fraudulent charges made on the lost cards.

When you converse with one of us, and in response to something you've said, we begin to work on a task, probably impulsively, it is difficult for us to shift our attention back into an ordinary kind of conversation. This raises the issue of the facets of this disorder. Paying attention involves more than zooming-in on a topic and staying fixed on it, although that's very important, obviously. To interact effectively with our world and the various demands we all face, we must be able to zoom-out at will, too. That's tricky. Even with meds, my brain doesn't like repositioning itself.

we, ADHDers, expect that much of the time, you can't hear us, either. I suspected that you faked hearing just like I did. Remember when the limo driver caught Elaine hearing?

So, when I tell you something, I often don't believe you've actually heard me and ergo I won't be held accountable.

"It’s incredibly fulfilling work – I get the honor of helping couples learn to love again and keep their families intact." Ms. Orlov

Of all things anyone can aspire to and to achieve during his/her lifetime that is of ultimate importance, it is exactly what Ms. Orlov and her team are doing. Children need loving parents who strive together to make a healthy, warm, nurturing environment and everyone needs to love and to be loved. To dedicate one's life to assist families to reestablish loving bonds is the summum bonum. 

My wife lost her debit card last Thursday.  I was under the impression that she did the right thing and canceled it.

She borrowed my card on Wednesday.

Last night, she said that the bank had called about fraudulent charges and that she had to deactivate both cards.  I said that I thought she had canceled the card she lost.  She said that she did not because the bank had adviser her to put a hold on it and not cancel it in case it turned up.  I found this strange.

As you may know, I taught college for a couple years as a visiting faculty member.  I adjuncted for a few years during grad school, but promised myself I would not be one of those people who continues to adjunct years after they complete their doctorates.

This is from a recent Chronicle of Higher Education article talking about the toll of adjuncting: