Recent forum posts (all topics)

A couple of months ago, I gave my wife a list of possible psychiatrists who have experience with adult ADHD.  She "left a couple of messages" for one of them, but did not follow up--too busy!

Earlier this week, I went on psychology today.  I reached out to woman she tried to contact and heard back shortly.  Unfortunately, she is not taking new patients.

Hi everyone! I’m new to this forum and looking for advice. Is there such a thing as relationship counselling with an adult ADHD expert? I’ve been looking for ages and either the websites are out of date or there are huge long lists of therapists that seem to focus on general couples stuff and in our case that has been tried numerous times and failed. We need couples counselling from someone that appreciates / understands some of the ADHD symptoms, impacts and strategies for addressing them. We’re in south London UK.  Thanks if you can steer me in the right direction x

If I say thank you, he says nothing. “Thank you for bringing the vacuum upstairs.”  Silence. “Thank you for how hard you work to provide for us.”  Silence. 

If we are on the phone, he just barely manages to mumble a goodbye. Each and every time. If I didn’t know what the word was supposed to sound like, I wouldn’t recognize it as a goodbye.

There is some grief in your life when you accept the reality that something has died or that something was not what you thought is was or could be. Today I am just feeling that grief that I cannot change the things I cannot change. So I guess I must do the lonely work of changing what I can.  But today is just a rest and accept and grieve day. 

I've been my own worst enemy over the years, when conflict arises...In the name of seeking peace and resolution, I find my self taking a lot of abuse, because I feel as a husband I should be the aggressor in the restoration process...And that's fine and good at times (where we both took up the sword)...But it's wrong when I had no part in (took no part) her own internal anger, failed manipulation attempts, or when she disrespects boundaries and attempts to justifies it, with blame and silence.... 

Our about-to-turn-16 son has decided he wants to be emancipated.  He has started looking at apartments and is convinced that he can earn enough money to support himself (including rent) while working part time and going to school.  He even told me he thought he could make $50,000 a year.  Oh, and the insurance won't be an issue--he doesn't plan to get sick.  (Never mind the cost of his current ADHD and anxiety medication!)

Husband had 3 jobs in 6 months. He was let go of his most recent job last Thursday. We have four young children. Moved out of state for this job. (Fifth move in nine years).  His 6th job in 9 years. Accountability is not a strong suit for those with ADD. Need words of hope please.

I am having a hard time lately. I am staying in my marriage for now to avoid sharing custody with my adhd spouse because of how detrimental/dangerous that would be for our daughter. But I have a long road ahead if I stay until she is 18 (she's almost 11 now) and it is wearing on me.

I don't want couples therapy (well, I did in the past, but my husband repeatedly refused). Rather I am wondering if anyone could pipe in on their experiences with individual therapy.

I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late 30’s, I’m now 44. My wife does not have ADHD and tells me I’m not treating my symptoms and until I do, she’s not willing to begin counseling with me. 

I take my Adderall everyday and try to take it late enough in the day to last into the evening but not interfere with sleep. Sleep has always been an issue regardless and that’s a separate issue. 

I think it's important to keep in mind that most "needs" are actually desires; and most things that we say we or our partners "can't" do are actually things that we or our partners won't do.  Despite biology, including the wiring of brains of people with ADHD and the brains of people without ADHD, nearly everything is a choice, not an immutable process.  So, if you're married and you don't like what your partner does or doesn't do, accept that it's your choice to stay married or to split. Whichever you do, own the decision.