Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been married 20 years to my ADHD husband and I had no idea our struggles were due to ADHD! I just thought he was selfish and inattentive.. I just didn't know enough to know they were different types... I recognize us in every single ADHD section of the book... I went through all emotions reading the book, but mostly relived since I have dealt with constant scrutiny that there is something wrong with me and was considering taking anxiety medication in order to stay married.... Sure I have turned into that nagging, untrusting wife ..

I'm accompanying my ADHD partner today for work. Lots of stops for each job and lots of conversations on the phone. 

He speaks to men in a business manner, friendly, more than I'd be, but still on the side of business.

The ladies though, he fully flirts and tells them what he did last night when he got home, told them he'd been on holiday, using words like sweetheart and darling and making connections all over the place.

We have spoken about this before. It's very subtle, but his voice actually changes, deeper, more sexual.

im very very sad. 

So, some background.  DH and I have been together for 20 years.  Married for almost 14 of that.  For all of our relationship we have worked opposite shifts because, well that's just how the jobs go.  Which was fine.

I have been with my ADHD husband for 6 years, married for 2. He was diagnosed about a year into our marriage. We have a 9 month old baby and I am seriously contemplating divorce. 

He has been a lot of fun, and can be very caring. He can also be incredibly selfish, neglectful and aggressive. He has hit me when I was 38 weeks pregnant, threatened to punch me and been verbally abusive. He has no self-esteem and I am in constant battle with his ego. 

What does your ADHD spouse consider a "fun" activity that you do together? My husband has always like going to the movies, I don't. I don't like it because to me, we aren't interacting with each other in any way. We are just sitting there in the dark staring at a really big television screen, and then going home. We haven't talked, interacted, shared anything, played together.......nothing. To me, it's the same as staying home watching television. But, he doesn't like doing anything ELSE.

What if you have OCD and your partner has ADHD, help, anyone else experiencing this?

I have to admit I am a bit shocked. My husband actually stepped up when our oldest child was in crisis mode for a bit.

I have been struggling with my marriage to my ADHD husband for many years. He is not very communicative, but sometimes we are able to talk about our problems, and sometimes he asks if I still love him. I often say, "of course I do. If I didn't, would I put up with all of this?" But recently I have wondered what I mean by that. Do I really love him? Do I love myself? Why do I put up with the anger, the chaos, the lack of communication, the wild imbalance in our work and family lives, the financial and other problems he causes for us? What do I mean when I tell him I love him?

Hey All....I'm back for a brief update ( now I'm on the hook? LOL )  Okay, this is as much for me as anyone else so I don't forget?  As I am calling a "Wall", it is the invisible frustrating thing that you can't put your finger on, but you know it's there.  I'm going to go off of an assumption, that you Non-ADHD partners, probably now this too, but only from experiencing it coming from the outside and hitting against it but not actually having it yourself?  Possibly, it is something you are aware of yourself ( in yourself ) but possibly not to the same degree?

I see a lot of helpful information here on working with an ADHD spouse, but both of our children also have ADHD, and their behaviors, inherited from my spouse, are a trigger for my spouse. Dealing with managing and supporting all three is killing me. I have an easier time when I am just dealing with the kids and their needed structures and it is overwhelming to have to layer in supporting my spouse as well. Advice, suggestions?