Recent forum posts (all topics)

I've been reading everyone's posts for a while, so thank you all for helping me to feel less alone.  I really need to tell someone what is happening as I cannot tell anyone I know. My husband is ADHD, has been since he was a kid but his parents chose to take him off medication. He was rediagnosed three years ago and I read everything I could on the subject. He wasn't interested in learning, wouldn't even let me speak about it, and just took the 30mg of Adderall and an anti-depressant that his GP gave him. I said for years that his medication was wrong.

Well, I am the ADHD, but I thought I'd post something POSITIVE.

I'm new here- I have been reading, and seeing so many sentences that mirror my life.  I've always known something is missing in our 15 year marriage.  No emotional connection. I'm an emotional person, H is devoid of feelings.  We tried Dr. Phil's relationship rescue.  Well, I did anyway.  H has ZERO defining moments.  He has no memories of feeling any kind of emotions.  He can't name the happiest times, saddest, anything. 

Question here.  I've noticed a few common themes with those of us who were or are in long term marriages with a person with ADHD. (Especially when it hasn't been controlled) 

We are going through a very difficult time in our marriage. 

My husband is constantly angry and it feels like I can never do anything right  

He  is constantly on edge and ready to lose his temper at the drop of a hat. He is snappy, rude, irritable, and sometimes mean.  It's rare for Him to cook a meal calmly without snapping. He says he enjoys cooking, but he is so wound up when he is cooking and snaps at anyone who happens to say something or cross his path. 

Hi.  I am new to the group. Married for 15 years 3 children together for 20.  All these years I thought my husband was being an a@@hole.  I finally asked him for a separation because I felt I was crazy.  Mostly because that what he told me.  Finally went to a therapist on my own and he followed suite.  Discovered he has ADD. I thought I can do this but do not think I can. This is all too much.  I feel like he got in an accident and is now a different person.  I find myself even getting angry at my therapist for telling me this is not his fault and I have to give him less responsibility.

What happen's when we find ourselves in relationships that aren't pleasing to us? I found something a few years ago that brought light to my pain. It was something that turned my focus inward, and upward...It was something that saved me from Blame, Anger and Frustration (except the  days and nights I fall prey to my own carnal thinking, and find myself backsliding into being a victim again)....Because it told me "WHY" I was suffering...And; as hard as it was (and is) for me to admit my brokenness in this area...I eventually realized this was the foolish road I was own...

Hi! My name is Jessica and I e been married to my ADHD husband for over three years now. He was diagnosed at a young age, and I, too, was diagnosed with ADHD as well as Aspergers. I've been reading "the ADHD effect on marriage" and it feels like the book was written about us. I was wondering though if anyone else here, particularly non-ADHD spouses, has been diagnosed with Aspergers? I feel like having Aspergers magnifies some of these symptoms times ten. I misunderstand a LOT; I take many things just as they are said to me; very literally.

One of the best feelings in the world is knowing your presence and absence both mean something to someone.

So, given that, it seems H has from the beginning not noticed or cared about my presence or absence, even that my absence is preferable to H, doesn't that mean that I should go? I feel like I have been ignored for over 40 years.  That has done a number on my ego and confidence.

Given that I have come lately to defensively ignore H and have a difficult time having him near, doesn't that mean that I should go?