My husband so self un-aware, he can't accurately answer questions to get a proper diagnosis. He always answers questions in the way he would like things to be. Not how they are. I am so frustrated that he keeps "failing" the ADHD questionnaire. He's working in a different state, so I couldn't be there for his doctor's visit.
My SO of four years recently separated from me. After weeks of us being apart, he explained that the reason for the break up is because he thinks he is no longer in love with me. He is diagnosed ADHD but is untreated. Stress has been affecting his life and I'm afraid the added stress caused his symptoms to worsen. Reading up about how ADHD affects relationships has truly shed light on some of the issues we had in our relationship. He often told me he thought he didn't love me enough because he didn't pay attention to me even though he wanted to.
I looked up conflict style on Google and took a few tests to open my awareness of my marriage conflict and the loss of our intimacy. I also plugged in my guesses for H in these online quizzes. It was eye-opening to me why our conversations are filled with chaos and our intimacy is missing. I don't feel safe even in a simple discussion with him. Here is why:
In my previous post recently I put a link to a site concerning an article......NOT video/audio. Once at the site on the left hand side scroll until you see an article titled....Reconciliation With Your Hardened Wife. THIS is what I am referring to. The written and video do not seem to contain the same info.
I am not sure the link is working on this.
I am somewhat numb and relieved(?) after reading this article.. http://www.ultimatehusband.com/main.htm
It is faith based so there may be some who don't wish to check it out, however it is also human nature so if you want to take GOD out of it....feel free. There are MANY here that I believe will BIG TIME RELATE to the "body" of the words.
My ADHD Husband has a habit of finding discarded items when he takes walks. Today he came home with a pair of gloves he found. He was wearing them! It kind of grosses me out to be honest. He's found headphones and other random items that end up in our house. I feel like people throw things away for a reason - but he claims he's "rescuing" lost objects.
He said he would call and come over. Didn't call, got drunk instead. When I said I 'didn't want to talk' and expected him to say 'please we need to talk' or something, he just said 'ok suits me'! Just don't know how much longer I can put up with it, but feel as if I am in love with him. I have anxiety issues myself, but if I say I am going to call I do, how hard is it to just send a text and say I can't make it. I am beginning to think he just likes hurting me or is trying to push me away, and it's working! but my heart is breaking.
My recently diagnosed ADHD Husband does work at things and does complete them HOWEVER he will work on them day and night (without sleep) until he completes them and usually ends up frustrated and miserable!
I was recently diagnosed (psychologist) with ADHD after 20+ years of marriage. I just finished reading Melissa Orlov's book and so much of it applies to my marriage. The issue is that my wife recently filed for divorce (after I started treatment but she only just learned of my diagnosis two days ago) and when I brought up my diagnosis, it was met with great skepticism. There has been no infidelity in my marriage. My biggest ADD contributiors are inattentiveness (you don't love me, you hate me, you don't like what I do) and spontaneous and/or impulsive behavior.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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